**Brad**

Angie550

I've got to know...what are your rules for FIs dress??

ddelo23

me too me too!!!

brad1431

1. no toole, I have seen dresses with lots of toole, and they look like dust mops. 2. no hoopy poofy thing.  If I can hide under it, that is no good.  Also she hurt her back, so it just makes sense, basically I want it to be just a long white dress, not a standard wedding dress.  She agrees, she says she works too hard to be in this good of shape, why should she hide it.

kle0113

Wait what?!  Please tell me that is not true

ddelo23

To each his own I guess but if DH told me what type of dress to wear, I would have LAUGHED in his face. He trusted me enough to know I wouldn't wanna look like a fool on my own wedding day!

kle0113

Ditto Dana.

uppereastgirl

I wasn't given "rules", but I asked my husband what kinds of things he didn't like in dresses before I went shopping, and I'm pretty sure your two no-nos were on the list.  (He also hates extensive lace, beading, shininess, pick-ups etc.).  We have similar tastes so it was of no consequence, but I wouldn't have wanted to pick a wedding dress that he wouldn't like.  Yes, it was my pretty princess dress to pick, but isn't the point at least in part that your husband should see you on the day of and think you're absolute perfection (rather than "oh dear god that dress looks like a cupcake")?  So I think that guidelines can be helpful.Of course, boys can sometimes be clueless... my brother-in-law had said he didn't want my sister to get a strapless dress because they were too revealing, but I think he just wasn't picturing what strapless dresses look like.

ddelo23

while i agree that I would want dh to be happy with my dress, him TELLING me what i'm allowed to wear wouldn't be the way to go about it.

mbcdefg

FI told me things he didn't like (nothing huge, he didn't like lacy or retro/vintage gowns), but our tastes are pretty similar so it's not like he was forbidding me to get something I loved. And these weren't rules, just, "Get what you want, I just don't happen to like XYZ." And I'm sure he'd find me beautiful even if I got something he wasn't originally nuts about. I actually showed him a phone pic of me in an all-lace gown, and he wrinkled his nose and said, "Eh, I'm not crazy about that." I was on the fence myself about it, but his opinion (plus some girlfriends' opinions) steered me away from it, and I'm glad I asked because I love what I wound up with.

Lola Minnie

Sometimes I wonder if we are on candid camera

brad1431

exactly upper east, you may be wearing it, but I have to stand next to you and pay for the pictures of you in it, and I dont want to stand next to a cupcake or a feather duster.  That is 3 things we have agreed upon today....and it isn't like I said anything crazy to her.  Her aunt said she couldnt wear strapless, but she was like of course not, her boobs are too big and she doesnt want to be picking up her dress all night.  and my rules are practical, she cant wear a heavy dress anyway, it would hurt her back dancing in it all night.

uppereastgirl

Well, I think it depends in part on delivery of rules ("I would prefer if..." or "You know, I've never really liked..." or "I kind of like..." instead of "You will not buy a dress that..."), but also, it isn't like he told her what dress to wear.  There are a whole lot of dresses out there that aren't pouffy and don't have tons of tulle.  It isn't like he said that it must have sleeves, and a sweep train, and must be a-line, and no beads, and ruching at the bust, and a bow in the back...

ddelo23

Like I said, to each his own. I just think it's kinda ridiculous to expect your future wife to wear something YOU want her to wear. either way, my husband and I have the same tastes, but if we didn't, it would be my choice in the end. If I wasn't comfy in the dress and feel pretty, I wouldn't wear it.

cher1980

brad - you get a big "REALLY??" for this quoteexactly upper east, you may be wearing it, but I have to stand next to you and pay for the pictures of you in it, and I dont want to stand next to a cupcake or a feather duster. That is 3 things we have agreed upon today....You HAVE to stand next to her!? That is your WIFE! I tried to get some opinions from my hubby and would show him pics in magazines like "omg look at this dress" and he would say a comment about it and i would be like what if i get a dress like this - his response always and everytime to me was - i dont care if you walk down in jeans and ur hoodie, you are marrying me and thats all i care about... and b/c you are PAYING for the pictures - you care what she looks like! Ugh!!! Like you said before -this isnt china!So take a look at each other and figure out whats really important? her wearing a dress you dont like or her marrying you?

mrs.spunky1508

I have as big a pair of boobs as you'll find and strapless was honestly the only thing I found halfway flattering... Anyway, I am pretty modest so my (STRAPLESS) dress had a lace bolero. Plus we were getting married in January and I wanted my shoulders covered. I had MAJOR issues with the store/manufacturer so I wrote an extensive email to a customer service person (department head) when this was going on. I read the email to my H, forgetting I mentioned something about the "jacket" in the email and from then on he started teasing me about my dress and "parka", asking me if it had fur or if it was stuffed with down, and all other sorts of silly things. Of course, I didn't want to show him a picture so I just kept my little mouth shut. When I met him at the altar, he told me I looked beautiful. When we took our seats at the side of the altar, I said, even the parka? He said, yup even the parka.

Lola Minnie

I agree Cher, the "I have to pay for it" is really upsetting but to each his own.

cher1980

right lola!  I couldnt even imagine those words coming out of my husbands mouth...

I <3 Seabass

I have as big a pair of boobs as you'll find and strapless was honestly the only thing I found halfway flattering...ditto.

LarissaAnn

When H met me, I was wearing clothing I chose. Every day thereafter, he saw me in clothing I chose, whether it was jeans & t-shirt or formal ball gown. No matter, what, he claims to think I look beautiful (or alternatively, "hot"). I could've come down the aisle in a bunny costume, and he'd have thought I was beautiful. And by the way, prior to the wedding, he mentioned, "You're not wearing a big dress, are you?" I did, and he loved it. And if I'd asked him what he thought of lace, he'd probably say he hates it. My dress had some lace and he loved it. Had I wanted to look like a big cupcake, he still would've loved it on me. Just 'cause it was on me. Besides, you can't know 'til you see it all come together on the dress, and you can't *really* know 'til you see the dress ON the person who's going to be wearing it. How many people here comment that they went in looking for one thing and walked out with something entirely different?

Angie550

Brad..I gotta hand it to you, sounds like your FI has a banging body..between the big boob comment and the 'she works too hard for her body not to show it off' post...

goaliegirl

I agree with Cher....it shouldn't matter what she is wearing as long as you are getting married!!! If MH had given me "rules" to follow when looking for a dress, I would have laughed in his face! She should be able to wear what she wants not just what you want. Somehow I am not surprised by this post!

uppereastgirl

But to you guys saying "It wouldn't matter if I was in a hoodie" or "it shouldn't matter what she is wearing as long as you are getting married" -- then why not just go to a justice of the peace (or if you're religious, a church) and forego all the rest of the hoopla?  If he would be happy to marry you in a potato sack, he should definitely be happy to marry you without a champagne sorbet intermezzo and wine stopper favors?Or at the very least, why waste time on several hair and makeup trials and the like?

Just Jen

OK, a question:Did any of you ladies give input on what your H/FI would wear for the wedding?I definitely have certain things I don't want him to wear (matching vests/bowties, the old polyester el-cheapo tux he has sitting in his closet), and I told him he has to get a hair cut a week or so beforehand (cause he'd never think to do that himself, and I swear his hair grows *out* rather than down, leading to poofy head).So, to be fair, I can see Brad's point. But, FTR, FI had no say in my dress ;-)

ddelo23

My mom paid for our photographer (and really all of our wedding, including the dress). This, in no way, gave her the idea that SHE got to tell me what I was comfortable in.

ddelo23

In response to uppereast - I don't think they're really relevant (IMO). I didn't put the dress on just to make DH happy. I did it because I WANTED to look beautiful for MYSELF on my wedding day. It's just an added bonus that everyone gets to enjoy it also. and the comment after that (can't remember who it was) I told my husband he could wear ANYTHIGN he wanted. He knew the color of my dresses, and he decided what he wanted to wear. he went classic tux look anyway, but he was the one wearing the tux, not me!

neilly18

I knew Fi did not like strapless dresses but I did not want one for an entirely different reason so that worked out well.In return - when it came time to pick out Tuxes I said to him "you had no say in my dress so you can choose whatever you want".  I probably would have gone with a different style than he chose but its his outfit for the day not mine.

mbcdefg

Did any of you ladies give input on what your H/FI would wear for the wedding?I showed him some pics of grooms(men) wearing black tux vests with colored ties, and he happened to like that look. I'd originally envisioned the guys all wearing solid green ties, but he wanted black & green stripes for the GMs and white & green stripes for himself, so that's what he got. Going back to the "We have similar taste" thing, neither of us are into colored vests so that was never an issue. Unless he picked out something REALLY fug, I'd never say anything about it (he probably would've done solid black or solid silver had I not suggested the black vest & colored tie combo). I also don't plan to go to the tux shop with him unless he outright asks me to go. He actually asked me recently if I wanted him to wear a white vest and tie "like most grooms." I said I didn't care and it was up to him. He said, "Good, because I don't like that" - and my reply was, "I know you don't, that's why I'd never ask you to do that. Plus, YOU have to wear it, not me, so I don't see why you need my permission or an order from me."

uppereastgirl

Just Jen -- I like to think that we came to the decision together, but I know I gave him lots of ideas about what I like and don't like, and what we ultimately went with was something I had suggested.  I hate tuxes that are not completely basic (and hate vests and the like), so I wouldn't have liked it at all if he went for, say, a white jacket or a colorful vest.

Mye

i showed Fi pics of the dresses i liked, and he def told me what he liked or didnt, of all the people he is the most honest person, that would have no problem telling me if a dress was butt ugly... I did go with him to pick the fabric of his suit, the style, and went to the fittings, because again, while some people would blow smoke up his a$$ I will tell him straight if I dont like something

cher1980

uppereast - b/c that isnt what we wanted...he knew i wanted the big wedding and the gown and all, so he wanted it w/ me...but he didnt care what "kind" of dress i had, as long as I loved it and i was happy with it...i wouldnt have been happy going to justice of the peace or the obvious "wearing" the hoodie!Like many previous posts, we have very similar taste in our clothing....when he made his appt for the tuxes, he asked if i could come w/him and i did - but told him i wouldnt if he didnt want me to and i trust his style...he picked out the black and white shoes, and the longer tux jackets and it came together perfectly...and that was all him!So yes, i understand your point and well taken - but we wanted to do it up...we both wanted to be beautiful on our wedding day - he lost 40lbs on his own and started taking care of his face and skin...all on his own...and i lost 30lbs...this is something we wanted together

kle0113

MH had total faith in me to pick out a very nice dress that I would be comfortable in.  With that said MH and I went together to look at tuxes for him to wear, but I trusted him to pick a nice one out.  We ended up buying his vest and tie to go with the colors of our wedding and the boys were just in black vest and tie.  oh and I wanted to do the whole JOP or go away together and get married, but MH wanted the whole wedding.