**Brad**

brad1431

exactly upper east, it wasnt you have to wear this or you cant do that, it was I really hate dresses that are all tulle or that are big hoops that I could hide under. She was like yeah tulle is terrible, and I cant wear a big heavy dress anyway cause of my back.  Plus she said she works out hard and shouldnt hide it in a big poofy dress.  So I call them rules, but she feels the same. Just like she had rules for me proposing, why would you want the other person to do something that you know that you wont like.  or why would you do something you know your FI doesnt like. 

mrs.spunky1508

Because, if you're on the same page about it, there is no need for rules. If you wanted to propose at Yankee Stadium, and she didn't want that, then she should have a rule. If you don't like puffy tulle dresses and she doesn't like them either then what's to talk about?

brad1431

she agrees, but I didnt know she would agree when I told her, just like her rules for getting engaged, she told me you can do it anyway you want but I dont like these 3 things.  I did the same, it is your dress, but I dont like tulle or big poofy hoopy dresses. Just like anything I would want to know what she doesnt like, if I said I am looking to book our HM, and she said I hate cruises, I wouldnt book a cruise then.  It is all compromise and making the other person happy

Lola Minnie

I'm thankful my fi wouldn't know what tulle is.

uppereastgirl

"If you don't like puffy tulle dresses and she doesn't like them either then what's to talk about?"You can probably often guess about what someone would like or dislike, but the issue of puffy tulle is something that likely never came up in conversation between us before I was looking for wedding dresses.  I know we had been to several weddings where I had definitely hated the bride's puffy tulle dresses, but I don't even know if my husband would have paid enough attention to the dresses to know what bothered him.Even after dating him for 11 years, I'm sometimes surprised at things that my husband likes or hates.

neilly18

Lola --- that is funny :-)  LOL

mrs.spunky1508

I guess I feel there are certain things you plan together and certain things where you just leave it to the other's judgement. Maybe that's just me. My H knew not to pick something ridiculous like orange vests for the groomsmen (not saying orange is ridiculous in general but with our colors it would have looked out of place) because that, with what we had discussed re: colors, would not look right. We knew not to pick anything with shrimp or melon in it for our wedding b/c we're allergic to them (him shrimp, me melon) and didn't want a reaction to them at our wedding. If for some reason he or I was unable to make it to our meeting with the venue when we picked our menu, this is just common sense. Like my dress, for instance. Would he have picked my dress up off the rack? No, probably not, and honestly, my mom was the one who brought it into the dressing room! And he made fun of my jacket (not knowing a bolero from a Mexican sombrero you'd find at Chevy's) before he even saw it, not because he didn't think it would look nice but because he's just like that - a jokester. But once I had it on and was walking towards him down the aisle, he was in tears!

Lola Minnie

neilly, i think i would about die if my fi said 'babe you would look better in aline than ball gown you should go for satin not tulle, it won't flatter you" lol

mrs.spunky1508

We went to several weddings either right before we got engaged or within a few months after - well before I even looked at dresses. So when I made appointments to go, I guess maybe I knew that he didn't like certain things? It wasn't a point of having a specific conversation about likes and dislikes, just general wedding conversation.

I <3 Seabass

I'm thankful my fi wouldn't know what tulle is. lol! That reminds me of this one time when I was trying to decide what to wear and FI was like, why don't you wear one of those half dresses. I'm like, half dress?...oh you mean a skirt.

Angie550

Ha Ha Seabas!  I just literally laughed out loud. I could see FI saying something like that.

ddelo23

hahah seabass - hilarious.

soontobemrsdavis

I'm so glad syn had no thoughts about a wedding dress either way.  To him "they all look the same".  and to him I "looked absolutely beautiful.the only thing he was worried about was the makeup..he hates makeup and i never wear any. Had I listened to him and only stuck with what i knew which would have been some gloss, i wouldnt have done makeup. But of course after enough people told me i needed to do it. I did it and guess what he LOVED IT!  All that to say...sometimes people think they won't like something but on that day its a completely different thing and i would hope that you find your wife to be beautiful even if she has a dress with tulle

Karma01

Brad, You and your FI have to many rules for one another. My FI would never ever give me rules. I am almost 30 years old and I can make decision on my own.

brad1431

ok karma, did you have any "rules" for his bachelor party?  I am betting that you did....

brad1431

and as already stated it isnt a rule, like moses handing down the 10 commandments, it is a preference.  we just call them rules, cause it sounds better.

cvl105

I have no rules for his bachelor party. I trust him enough to use his own judgement, I am marrying him afterall.  If I had to worry about what he would do at such an event, I wouldn't be marrying him.

Karma01

nope, I trust him. He is actually going to Key West fishing with his buddies. Not worried, I am just jealous, I wish I could go to Key West.

brad1431

chelsea, I asked cause karma said she is 30 so she doesnt need rules, which are just strong preferences, but I bet 50% of more women on here had a no stripper "rule"

soontobemrsdavis

really no strippers??  I doubt it bc i remember a poll not to long ago and most women said they would go or have gone to a female strip club with their FI/DH.What's the big deal with strippers???

brad1431

mrs davis, I dont know, but most times I see bridezilla, they say no strippers.

kle0113

MH is a grown man and if he needs rules now there is a problem! I might give him my opinion on something just like he would me but rules um no! Brad I would not say that these are rules. I would say that they are suggestions.

soontobemrsdavis

Bridezilla is just hyped up craziness. I would hope that no one on here would as bad as those girls. Even if they are they would never admit it on here.

kle0113

Do you think we are all bridezillas or something?

LarissaAnn

LOL @ "half dress"! Rules for proposal? If I gave H rules for the proposal, I'd have expected him to refrain from proposing! And he'd have been right. And he had no rules for his bachelor party, same as I had no rules for the bachelorette party. The wedding we planned together, and agreed on everything. If there was a debate, we hashed it out 'til we came to a compromise. The wedding dress & bridesmaids dresses RIGHTFULLY got no input from him at all. As for his tux & the tuxes for the guys, I went with him to the store because he WANTED me to. I have no idea what would've happened if we disagreed on the look of the tux, because we never got that far. I joked t hat they should be in tails, he grimaced, I laughed. Then he saw a poster in the window of a tux ensemble and said, "I want that." I looked at it and said, "Sold!" We were done. For the guys, we got the same tux & shirt, and just changed the vest & tie to dark brown to match the BM dresses. H didn't care about that at all, just asked me what would match. That's why he wanted me there in the first place. And for the dads we did the same getup but with charcoal almost-black vests & ties.

LarissaAnn

Um... you DO know Bridezillas is mostly staged, right?

Karma01

Brad what are your rules for each others bach parties

Phyllisbride

so rediculous, i cant even read threw this post.

Phyllisbride

**through** i was rushing

ddelo23

I had no rules for his bach party. They ended up getting two strippers...i didn't care. Funny part is, they wish they didn't anyway. they were crack heads, and one never took her slouch socks off (dirty ones, with holes). Yes, wigwam slouch socks! Either way, what are the point of rules for a bach party? If you're getting married, that means you have trust in the other person.