North Carolina

Vows

FI and I are writing our own vows. FI finished his last night and I'm STILL working on mine. He said it's fine if I read them before the wedding but I'm undecided. Right now I feel like mine are kind of cliche-ish. He said his were really personalized. I kind of want to read them, what would you do?

Re: Vows

  • NcsuPsychNcsuPsych member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    both DH and I wrote our vows the night before our wedding. They were short and sweet and both were a surprise to each other was well as our guests (we weren't originally going to do our own vows. We did the traditional vows and then added in our own tidbits). 

    Im not sure if I understand your question correctly or not, but I took it as you'd read to each other first before the ceremony and then during the ceremony?? I'd wait personally.  And honestly, it doesnt matter how they sound as they're coming from your heart. As long as you mean them and your FI knows what everything means, you'll sound/do fine!

    Woot 2 days until your a Mrs.!
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  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    No, I didn't mean read them to each other, I meant just read what he wrote. Mine sound kind of traditional with a little added. He said his aren't traditional at all.
  • meredithl618meredithl618 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think it would be fine to see what he wrote, unless you really want to be surprised. 

    Otherwise, give them both to someone you know who can read them and compare them in terms of length and content. That way you wouldn't feel weird on the wedding day if they were way different. 
  • wlfpkbridewlfpkbride member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That's a good idea Meredith. I don't want to know exactly what they say. I dodn't know why I didn't think of that. :-)
  • edited December 2011
    I like Meredith's idea of having someone else read them to see if they flow well with each other.  That eliminates you seeing them beforehand if you are undecided of whether or not you want to, and it also will give you an outside opinion of how everyone else will be hearing them on your big day (which is only 2 days away....I cannot believe you are almost there...yayyy!!!)

    Leigh Anne & Billy
    *October 2nd, 2010*
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Meredith.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I don't think they have to match or flow well at all. They're words from the heart, & since everyone is unique, so will the words be unless you try to make them otherwise.

    I went to a wedding this past Saturday where the bride & groom spoke "to speak freely from their hearts." The groom literally pulled out a little piece of notebook paper, pulled her in close, & whispered in her ear for a few minutes. All we could see was her reaction. It was a beautiful thing to see. The bride's words were more traditional & equally as beautiful.
  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, a lot of people have the MOH or another close friend read both to see if they "flow" (make sure one isn't full of inside jokes and the other full of really serious promises, etc), but I also agree that it doesn't really matter if they're similar or not.  DH and I wrote our vows, but we each said the same words except for the beginning.  The beginning was a sentence that started, "DH, I love you because....." but the rest was the same for each of us (same promises, etc).
    image Matt & Ashley 5.08.10
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:405a9ae9-f040-4c3d-bcb8-840dd5298313Post:633be45d-4362-45c4-893e-011db8fcc271">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I don't think they have to match or flow well at all. They're words from the heart, & since everyone is unique, so will the words be unless you try to make them otherwise.</strong> I went to a wedding this past Saturday where the bride & groom spoke "to speak freely from their hearts." The groom literally pulled out a little piece of notebook paper, pulled her in close, & whispered in her ear for a few minutes. All we could see was her reaction. It was a beautiful thing to see. The bride's words were more traditional & equally as beautiful.
    Posted by laudanum1[/QUOTE]

    i agree with this! i think you should just write them and let them be....reading each others before hand or having someone review them, takes away from the point of writing your own to each other. (imo)
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