Church

Drumski

So here is my problem...
  We booked our venue at The Somerest Palace, Somerset, NJ and planned on having the ceremony in Garfield, NJ. We are getting married on Friday, December 19,2011 and the distance between the two is about an hour. I'm concerned about the distance, the traffic and possibly the weather that day. 
   My Mom, she passed away earlier in the summer, requested as her final wish to see us get married in a church. I'm honoring her final wish and I plan on getting married in a church. 
   I know that the Chatholic community is very strict when it comes to weddings, classes and money. Does anyone have any reccomendations or know of any churches that would welcome us in this short time frame? I'm getting ready at my parent's home in Elizabeth, the venue is in Somerset and my FH will be in Howell. Anyone have ANY advice on how to go about this?
  I'm about to have a nervous breakdown over this.
 

Drumski

I'm sorry, December 16,2011

NJhousewife22

I know St. Francis of Assisi in Glen Ridge will. They are doing our ceremony and have been amazing. I can not recommend them enough!

 http://www.stfrancisnj.org/ and here is their wedding info page:
http://www.stfrancisnj.org/weddings.html

cindyn9178

Have you set a start time for your reception yet?

Elizabeth and Howell are pretty far away from each other, aren't they? And I know Elizabeth is pretty far from Somerset, not sure about Howell. If you wanted to have the ceremony closer to Somerset, I'd probably recommend getting ready somewhere closer to there as well. I'd personally be worried about traffic for myself- going from Elizabeth to Somerset for the ceremony.

We are having a Friday wedding, cocktail hour starts at 7, and we wanted a church wedding. The church is about 45 minutes away from the reception venue, so we chose to do the church earlier (3pm). Unfortunately, there will be a pretty large gap. It won't be a mass, so it will be over at 3:30.
The church we are getting married at is the one I belonged to growing up, which is why we chose that location.

Sorry, I don't have any recommendations for churches close to Somerset though....

peaches178

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_church-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:4a4d3523-9215-4c96-8c52-4b4f6eb1ea97Post:0dc8cd0b-fbf0-46f9-adf1-bd3798f883c7">Re: Church</a>:
[QUOTE]I know St. Francis of Assisi in Glen Ridge will. They are doing our ceremony and have been amazing. I can not recommend them enough!   <a href="http://www.stfrancisnj.org/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.stfrancisnj.org/</a> and here is their wedding info page: <a href="http://www.stfrancisnj.org/weddings.html" rel='nofollow'>http://www.stfrancisnj.org/weddings.html</a>
Posted by NJhousewife22[/QUOTE]
This.  100%!

Drumski

Elizabeth is a half hour from Somerset.
I'm just worried churches are going to reject us since we aren't members and our wedding is in three months.

37 Butter Knives

I'm sorry for your loss. St. Francis isn't Roman Catholic. I was looking into it for my wedding, but my now-in-laws did not approve, because they wanted our wedding to be a Vatican-approved sacrament with full mass. I don't know how strictly Catholic your mother was, but if she was as much so as my in-laws are, getting married at St. Francis wouldn't be a church wedding at all (even if the ceremony was in its church building and not at the venue). And if her dying wish was for you to wed in a church, I get the feeling she wanted a "proper" RC sacrament. What were your ceremony plans before your mom died? And was your mom aware of them?  I know the diocese wants couples to make arrangements a year out, but if you tell them your situation, maybe they'll help. Was your mother a member of a church, and did she have her funeral there? You don't have much time for the classes and lectures, so get on this quickly. My suggestion for you is to keep your current ceremony plans, then look into having a covalidation later on. Or, if you can get the church ceremony, perhaps do a (non-official) ceremony at the venue if you think the distance will keep people from the church.

kellybee83

So sorry for the loss of your mother. 
Try explaining your situation to churches, I'm sure there is one in the area that will marry you.  
I got married at Immaculate Conception in Somerville, (the church I went to growing up)but they are pretty conservative, and I don't have high hopes on them budging.
I've heard good things about St.Matthias in Somerset, which is super close to the Palace.  I remember meeting the paster a few times when I was a banquet server in college and he seamed like a great guy.  
I would just draw a radius from the Palace and start calling!  

Good luck to a fellow Palace bride!!


 

peaches178

Butter Knives is correct as the wedding won't be recognized by the Vatican, but getting married at St. Francis would be a church wedding complete with mass and any other sacraments you want.  The church is affiliated with the American National Catholic Church and the Franciscan order and the officiant used to be a Roman Catholic priest but left because he disagreed with the way the Vatican was handling certian issues.

This is taken from the St. Francis site:  Each jurisdiction has its own criteria for recognition of sacraments. The Mission of Saint Francis is not affiliated with the Roman Catholic church. Through apostolic succession in the Old (Dutch) Catholic tradition, we celebrate the same sacraments as those in the Roman and Orthodox communities. Your marriage will be legal with the state and a sacrament in the eyes of God.

Drumski

Before my Mom passed we were to be married in Garfield, NJ at a Roman Chatholic Church. My mom was involved and insistent on us getting married in front of a priest.

The church she belonged (I was baptiszed, receieved my first holy communion and confirmed there) to and her funeral services were held at denied us when she initally asked. I actually called the parish to ask if they would consider us for December.Initally they said no but as soon as I explained the situation the priest (the same one that told me no, gave her, her last rites and her funeral services) said he knew who I was and wants me to call later in the week.

I was the one that walked the priest to my Mom's hospital room and he asked me if I was the daughter that was supposed to get married and when I said yes he just got quiet. There were a lot of emotions going on at that time and I was upset because my Mom was dying and he wasn't helping me carry our her last wish. Do you think he might of had a change of heart?

Butter, why does it take a year? I know we have to go to classes but I'm not sure what else we have to do. Also, why is it that one RC priest said yes and this particular one wouldn't even consider it?

37 Butter Knives

Peaches, for most people, it shouldn't matter, but to my super-devout in-laws, it is a "renegade" operation. And thus to them, the wedding would not have been valid in the eyes of God. I'm still upset we couldn't go that route, but I had to keep the peace with my in-laws, even though it was uncomfortable for me. My in-laws would have preferred a civil, non-religious ceremony (so no talk of God) with a private covalidation ceremony at a later date, than for us to have a religious ceremony that wasn't of their specific sect. Yeah, my in-laws are a bit crazy. Drumski, the year requirement is to allow time to take the classes and lectures, and for meetings with the priest. The couple who spoke at our pre-Cana booked at 6 months, so it's not a firm requirement. So you didn't have a ceremony booked at the church? I'm not telling you that you made a mistake, but it should be the first thing anyone planning a church wedding should set - and before the reception venue is booked. I've heard of some priests who reject couples who booked their reception first; to them, the couple considers the ceremony as an afterthought. Aside from the prep, what if the church was already booked?

TaraK22

So sorry for your loss... {{hugs}}
Another idea is to ask your reception hall for churches in the area. they tend to have a list, like they have lists of any other "vendor" in the area/that they recommend. many of the reception places i looked at gave me a list of different churches in the packet they handed me during our inital meeting

Ky925

  I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.  I hope everything works out for you! We attended our friends wedding at Our lady of Peace in North Brunswick her reception was at The imperia in Somerset.  She said they were flexible and the Priest was great to work with.  Give them a try.

mbcdefg

Sorry for your loss.

I would start attending Mass at a few local churches, see where you feel comfortable, then schedule an appointment with the priest and explain the situation, and also say that you feel comfortable attending Mass at that church. I think many churches would be willing to help you if your intent is sincere.

NJhousewife22

You could also try St. Cecilias in Englewood. A friend of mine got married there as non members.

http://www.stceciliachurch.com/

TaraK22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_church-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:4a4d3523-9215-4c96-8c52-4b4f6eb1ea97Post:9a57bc0c-0b17-4b6c-9fb0-43b3ca48f007">Re: Church</a>:
[QUOTE]You could also try St. Cecilias in Englewood. A friend of mine got married there as non members. <a href="http://www.stceciliachurch.com/" rel='nofollow'>http://www.stceciliachurch.com/</a>
Posted by NJhousewife22[/QUOTE]

Totally forgot, but ditto this. My friend not only got married there as non-members, she even got confirmed in a short amount of time (she had to pay for some individual classes b/c her wedding would've happened before the regular class would have, but it still happened). The priest there seems very accommodating and helpful.

Drumski

I called the priest that was initally going to marry us and he said he would be honored.

Now, I just need to find a church! Well, I'm going to call the church my Mom went to. I hope this all works out.

This has been a major stress for me.