Question about which first name to use...

peaches85

I have my birth certificate/legal name that I use for all important documents, job applications, etc. and then I have my nickname that my parents (and everyone except the very old members of my family) have been calling me since I was born.  Long story short, my mom wanted to name me after her favorite rock and roll singer, but my dad didn't want his first daughter to be named after a drugged-out rock star, so they agreed to give me a more traditional name on my birth certificate and then use my nickname whenever they wanted.

Neither name is ugly or gross and I respond to both, though most of FI's family members only know me by my nickname.  Because our save the dates were very informal we used my nickname on them and I was thinking of using my legal name on our invitations since they're more formal.  I know we should probably stay consistent, but it doesn't really bother me.  That said, which name should I use on our programs, favors, etc.? 

I know it's ultimately a personal decision, but I'm just curious what others in a similar situation have done and what you would have done if you were in a similar situation.

diamondx423

I would go with your legal name, if people write checks with your nickname you might have difficulty cashing them.

jrgoogrl

I would use your legal name. If people write out checks to you and FI you want it to be the name that you have on your bank account.

peaches85

Ooohh, good thinking!  Although that would only be important for the invitation, though, right?  That's where I'm definitely using my legal name.  My question is more about the at-the-wedding items like programs, favors, etc.  At that point would it matter which name I use?

jrgoogrl

If you rather use your nickname because more people call you that, then go for it. But the invitation (since it's more formal) and obviously the marriage certificate should have you legal name.

kmleon83

i went to a wedding last year where the bride had a similar thing going...she went by nikki (nicole is her middle name) but her legal first name is rita. the invitations said rita nicole, but everything at the ceremony (favor ribbons, guestbook, etc) said nikki.

sorta the same with me..my legal first name is kristinemarie but i always thought it was so long and i didn't want to write it out when in school and stuff that i just made marie my middle name because i don't have one. i use kristinemarie for all important things like you, but no one calls me that..ever. i'd like to use it on my invites though just because the older i got, the more i liked it.

mbcdefg

My birth name is Mary Elizabeth (first, middle). Nobody calls me Mary, my everyday first name is MaryBeth. There were some checks written to Mary, MaryBeth and Mary Elizabeth, some with my maiden name and some with our married name, and I had no problem cashing any of them (this was at PNC, they said that they get wedding checks all the time and don't give couples a hard time with the names).

On the invitations and on the front page of our program, I used Mary Elizabeth. 

For the thank you portion of the program, the return address on our RSVP envelopes, and the menus that the hall provided, I used MaryBeth.

Laurms15

My legal name is Laura (named after my mom's mom) so as a child everyone called me Laurie thats how EVERYONE knows me except coworkers because I use my legal name on resumes and work related things. However I decided to use Laura on all of our wedding things because it sounds much better with my married name. My married name ends on an E sound like Laurie so I prefer my legal name when they are together. So maybe consider that does one name go better with your new name?

kwilkinson14

I think using your nickname on other wedding related items is fine. If people are more familar with that name it may make more sense. On the formal documents such as marriage license, invitations, etc. I would use your formal name.

altimat873

I say do whichever you want, its your wedding and do it the way you like it. As far as checks, I used to work in a bank and we used to get all variations, maiden names, married names etc. and we were very well aware of things like nicknames and it really does not make a difference. In my own personal experience, for your weding checks, if you dont have one already, might be best to set up a joint account for depositing the checks this way if its mr & mrs or just to one of the other, they can all go into the same account.

njpabzy

I think it is fine to use your legal name on invite and nick name on everything else. DH's legal name is Richard - but he goes by Rick - invites had Richard but program and everything at reception said Rick - and during our ceremony we had our pastor use Rick since to use Richard seemed really odd to us. Our license of course had Richard