Guest List

FutureMrsFraser

So, need some advice here. Yesterday, FI drove up to his work to get the oil changed in my car and all that good stuff. Well while he was there, one of his co-workers, we'll call her C, asked him when our wedding was, and when he told her, she said, Oh well I haven't gotten an invite yet. So he said, well our reception venue only holds 75 people, so our guest list is very limited, and she responded with, well we (her and her bf) were already planning on attending, so I hope we are getting an invite.

Then, last night, we went to my cousin's birthday cookout (she also works with FI), and C and her boyfriend were there, and I was talking to another friend about the wedding and stuff, and C walked up and said, Are you inviting us to the wedding, I was just wondering since I hadn't gotten an invitation yet. And I said well the wedding is 3 months away, most people don't send out invitations that early. And she said, oh, so we are invited then? And I said, well our guest list is limited at 75 people, FI didn't get to invite alot of close friends from work (as a hint that, if he didn't invite the people he's closest to there, then why would he invite you?) And she said, oh, well we were already making plans to come down there for the wedding. I didn't respond with anything, and my other friend who was standing there didn't either. Then C said, I guess it's rude to ask someone if you are being invited to their wedding huh? And my friend said, umm yeah, just a little bit.

So a little background information, C is really not one of my favorite people, mainly because the first time I met her, it was at FI's Christmas party the year before last, it was our 2nd date. She walked up behind him and groped him!!! I front of me and her date everyone else! I don't mean she grabbed his butt, I mean something else! So ever since then, I haven't really talked to her or been friendly with her, because I thought what she did was really rude. It was awhile ago, but I guess I hold grudges.

So now FI is wondering if we should add her to the guest list since she asked if she was going to be invited... I really could care less if she's there and we really can't add anyone else, our list is already over the 75 limit because we know some people that aren't coming etc.

So, what do you guys think? I just feel like she can just get over it... and if her feelings are hurt then it's kind  of her own fault for asking if she was invited... but I do understand that FI works with her everyday, and I don't want anything to be awkward for him after the wedding.

LVCK

Weddings bring out the worst in people. And apparently she's not that great a person to begin with. I think it needs to be pretty much up to your FI since he's the one who will have to deal with the fall out. But it would definitely be her own fault if she's hurt, for assuming she'd be invited and stuff...

ashstwrt

That was very inappropriate of her to ask not once, but TWICE.  I would absolutely NOT invite her, especially if you don't even particularly like her.  You have a very good reason for not inviting her (the 75 person limit), and she needs to be an adult and understand your situation.

Pinky09

um NO i would not invite her. End of story, she isn't a close friend/ or family member and you don't like her, yah no thank you! I hate when people are that rude and ask if they are invited. Geesh do people not have manners?

meredithl618

Do NOT invite her. Especially if you weren't planning to in the first place, this type of behavior should not be rewarded with an invite. She'll get the message and next time you'll just have to be more blunt about how she's not ever going to be invited.

jmp0930

Im suprise she had the balls to say "are you inviting us because we were already planning on attending". Tell her she needs to make other plans because she is not invited..or atleast I hope you don't invite her!! She is so rude and inappropriate to groupe ur FI even if it was a couple of year's ago and to ask is soooo disrespectful. I know you are a really nice person but she deserves a talking to and the words HELL NO should be included in the sentence..lol. Maybe not that harsh.

FutureMrsFraser

Thanks ladies! I really don't want to invite her. FI and I talked about it again today and said, well maybe we should just leave it as an open invitation incase they come... I said, who does that? There's no such thing as an open invitation to a wedding, one I need to know for food reasons, I have to have a number for the caterer, and two, people don't get open invitations to a wedding! And I really don't think he understands that we cannot have more than 75 people there... I really don't.

But I told FI how I felt about inviting her, and he already knows how I feel about her in general... I do not have a poker face, so I'm sure she knows everytime she sees me just how I feel about her.

I think I'm just going to let him decide, since he works with her, and he'll have to be around her after the wedding... but his decisiion has to be either she's invited or she's not... we aren't doing any of this open invitation stuff like he mentioned before.

manda4paws

if she makes you uncomfortable than your FI should respect that and she should not be invited. you don't invite someone to your wedding just b/c you have to deal with them on a daily basis afterwards. if they can't understand and respect the circumstances of you having a small wedding then that is their problem not yours and FI.

sunnysarahinNC

ditto to everything.

we are also having a small wedding, and FI's mother is already pushing the limits on who she wants to invite, in terms of numbers and who she wants there.

the best advice I've gotten is to remember that this is YOUR day! I am shocked that C would act the way she is, and if you don't want her there, then I see no reason why you should invite her. I'm sure FI will respect that

paramedicswife

I agree with everyone else; I would not invite her. I've seen it many times on here where brides are faced with this situation and it still shocks me that there are ppl like this. I would NEVER ask someone if I was invited to a wedding, much less tell them I was already planning to attend!

shigaites

Man I feel you.  Definitely don't invite her!

If it makes you feel any better, the guy I went to prom with has asked me THREE times if he can come to the wedding.  And in addition to that has said things like, "At the wedding you'll sit me at the table with your single lady friends right?"  wtf?!

GirlieGirl27320

OMG...NO NO and H*LL NO!  I absolutely could not find myself inviting her to the wedding if she had "groped" him right in front of me....all bets would be off then for sure!  What exactly was she thinking then??? 

Beth0882

If FI hasn't invited everyone from his work, then inviting her just because she feels entitled to be invited (and not because they are close friends) could cause some awkwardness at his work.  Its one thing to invite just a few of your closest coworkers if you can't invite anybody, but it would be wierd to just pick and choose people based on the fact that they expected to attend!  Maybe pointing that out to FI will help?

FutureMrsFraser

Yeah he is inviting a few close people from work, but definitely not all the people he's close with, just the "closest" people... After taking more about it with FI, I don't think she'll be invited, and if her feelings are hurt, then it's her own fault for asking.