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New Jersey
Does anyone know a Catholic priest that can do weddings outside of a church?
We are having an outdoor ceremony at our venue. Both of us are Catholic but haven't really been practicing. Our families are insistant that our marriage be blessed. The priest we were originally working with said he could no longer do it because the bishop did not approve of having it outside of a church. Does anyone know of a priest that can do an outdoor ceremony?
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Re: Does anyone know a Catholic priest that can do weddings outside of a church?
If you just want Catholic elements to the ceremony (meaning, someone who calls himself a priest and does some Catholic-like traditions), you can look into one of those rent-a-priests who perform marriage ceremonies. But be aware that it won't be considered a sacrament and the Church won't recognize it as a valid marriage. Plus, these people are not technically priests, even if they are all certified with the state to perform marriages.
We were married outside by a Catholic priest who is a chaplin of a Catholic hospital, therefore he can perform services anywhere. We were married in SJ and he came from PA, so you'll have to find one in your area. Our marriage is rec. by the Church though.
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[QUOTE]Hi- yes its supposed to be in a Church but you can "buy" or pay off a priest from a hospital to do it. My friend married someone Jewish at the Rutgers hospital and got a priest from St.. Judes Hospital to do it along with a Rabbi to appease both sets of parents. The Chapel was the closest thing she could find to a church.
Posted by Reilly626[/QUOTE]
Where can I "buy" one of these priests from the hospital? I didn't realize this was an option and it would be nice to have my marriage recognized by the church instead of having to do a vow renewal which is what we planned on doing.
Thank you.
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[QUOTE]We were married outside by a Catholic priest who is a chaplin of a Catholic hospital, therefore he can perform services anywhere. We were married in SJ and he came from PA, so you'll have to find one in your area. Our marriage is rec. by the Church though.
Posted by njbrowneyedgrl74[/QUOTE]
<div>I never knew you could do that. I think it is great. I never really understood HAVING to get married in a church for it to be rec. by the church, isn't God everywhere? </div><div>Just wanted to say that is awesome and the OP should look into this, it may be your only option for having an outdoor ceremony.</div>
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[QUOTE]This whole thread leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If you or your parents want your marriage to be blessed by the Church then get married in a Church.
Posted by Lola Minnie[/QUOTE]
Agreed. I'm not an expert, but you should pose this question on the Catholic brides board. They are experts there and can tell you exactly what you need to do.
I never heard of these chaplains doing outside marriages, but I DO know, that for a Catholic wedding to be considered a sacrament, it HAS to be inside a church or in a graveyard. Otherwise it's just a blessing.
Yes, the "rule" is that it has to be in a church.
But in reality there ARE priests who are willing to bend the rules because they believe that they have nothing to do with Catholicism. In the cases that I know of, the couples were married in the church alone with the priest and he performed their ceremony as planned (at a reception hall, etc.). However, I think it probably helps to already have a relationship with the parish/priest. Also, I don't think you should get married in the Catholic faith just because that's what your parents want, it should be what is right for you and your FI.
You may want to leave your e-mail or ask people to PM you if they can suggest someone. I suspect you'll get more recommendations that way.
ETA: I don't understand why people have to be berated when they ask this question. It always seems to me the people who profess to be the most "Catholic" are the most judgemental. It just bothers me because this is why Catholics get the bad rep we have.
[QUOTE]I don't understand why people have to be berated when they ask this question. It always seems to me the people who profess to be the most "Catholic" are the most judgemental. It just bothers me because this is why Catholics get the bad rep we have.
Posted by melissa82[/QUOTE]
I'll answer that one for you. I am not very holy or "most Catholic" but no one necessarily berated the OP. We are allowed to give our opinions, this is a forum. I hate when people get bent out of shape if their views aren't the same as everyone else's views.
Marriage is first and foremost a sacrament in the eye's of the Catholic church. If people want to marry at their venue or elsewhere that are not as interested in being recognized by the Catholic Church, that is completely and utterly understandable. But when you want to be blessed by the Catholic Church and as a Christian then you should have your ceremony at the Church rather than a garden that looks pretty and expect to reap the same benefits as other Christian Brides IMHO.
[QUOTE]I didn't ask you to not give your opinion or say you're not allowed to. I just said I don't understand it and it bothers me.
Posted by melissa82[/QUOTE]
I agree it bothers me as well, I called my parents parish today just to see if there is anything they can do for me (since mine couldn't and I am not very found of my parents parish) and I pretty much was told why bother getting married if you're not doing it in a church. I was raised religious I went to church every Sunday until I was 22 or so now I go on holidays and I do pray quite often. I think a church ceremony is very nice but we wanted to get married outside, it's just what we always imagined I'm not understanding why I have to get married where someone else wants me to. Our options are limited at this point and we will have to renew our vows at some point but it's silly, if they can perform a 10 minute renewal why not just do it outside.
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As for Catholics being judgmental comment- I think devout, passionate Catholics who are strict in their practice of the religion just want to share the information. Maybe sometimes it comes out in the wrong way, with judgmental tone, but it's not. Once again, why do people expect rules to be bent for them? This is the way it has been forever. This can be said of any religion- but since Catholicism is such a large population, we get the bulk of the criticism.
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Anyway, with that said. The Catholic church has tons of rules, but if you want to play their game, then you have to play by their rules. If it's really that important for you to have a marriage recognized by the church, then I don't understand why you can't just get married there.
[QUOTE]I understand the whole sacred part of being within a confinement of a church...I think it's beautiful that some brides have a ceremony at the church but I have to disagree that it's been like this forever. Jesus did not preach in a church, he did so outside, an outside that God has created before building were built. I am just having a problem understanding this.
Posted by kathygrzywnowicz[/QUOTE]
I told myself I was not going to get involved in this thread again. But, Kathy, are you serious? Some statements that come out of you, I can't wrap my head around and this is definitely one of them.
How do you not understand that there are rules?
If you are Catholic, Jewish, an alien, purple, whatever, you follow some form of rules to your religion. For religious people, this day is about celebrating the sacrament of marriage, not a pretty outdoors ceremony or party thereafter.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Does anyone know a Catholic priest that can do weddings outside of a church? : I told myself I was not going to get involved in this thread again. But, Kathy, are you serious? Some statements that come out of you, I can't wrap my head around and this is definitely one of them. How do you not understand that there are rules? If you are Catholic, Jewish, an alien, purple, whatever, you follow some form of rules to your religion. For religious people, this day is about celebrating the sacrament of marriage, not a pretty outdoors ceremony or party thereafter.
Posted by Lola Minnie[/QUOTE]
Of course I understand there are rules however I have yet met anyone including a priest tell me why these rules have been put in place. The only answer I was given is because "it's the rules and the church is sacred". I think that a marriage is sacred and should be considered so no matter the setting. I - as you did not want to get overly involved with this topic since it's a sore spot to many and I was just trying to quickly get my point across without posting 4 pages of why I feel the way I do. For some people it's a question of logistics not just a pretty outdoor ceremony and personally I think a pretty ceremony with a beautiful view that God created should not be shunned upon.
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[QUOTE]I think the bottom line is that the Catholic church has rules, just like every other religion. Why do you expect them to bend their rules for you?
Posted by rlb81[/QUOTE]
It's not that I think the Church <em>should</em> bend rules, but the reality is there <em>are</em> priests who don't agree with these rules and are willing to do ceremonies outside the Church. People tend to answer this question as if it is a 100% fact that there is no how, no way it will ever be done and it's just not true. There are also priests who don't agree with the Church's stance on gay marriage and will do ceremonies for gay couples.
I think if someone said, "My Church won't marry us because we live together. Does anyone know a Catholic priest who can?" they would not have gotten this response. Someone a while back wrote about their priest who said something like, "If the Pope can say Mass at Giant's Stadium, why can't a priest marry someone outside?" <<No real point to this paragraph, just some food for thought.
Perhaps I am alone in my experience, but after 10 years of Catholic school and a very Catholic family, I just find that the people who are the most devout in my life are also the most close-minded. It is very sad to me and I wish it were not that way. I think I'm incredibly lucky to have had a very open-minded priest from early on because it seems like most people were not taught in the same way.
He made it very clear to us that he is a catholic priest who is still affiliated with the diocese of Trenton and a church in north jersey, I just forget which one. He will be performing a catholic ceremony for us, on the beach. We explained to him that the church I grew up going to does not have the same meaning to us as a couple as the beach does, and he completely understood. He said that after we are married, we can petition to the diocese to accept/recognize our marriage, but there is no guarantee. It will be a legal marriage, recognized by the state, but may/may not be accepted by the church.
He is an older man, who explained that through his experiences, he has learned that getting married in a church is not necessarily for everyone. I think it's a personal opinion, and I guess he agrees. Good luck!