moms and shower gifts

brantina

So I am having two showers this weekend and my mom keeps freaking out because she doesn't have a gift for both of them.  I told her that she doesn't need to bring a gift, since she is paying for most of the wedding and all.  Does the MOB traditionally bring a gift to each shower?  I just feel guilty for her spending all of this money already and I don't expect another gift from her. 

NcsuPsych

Really I think it's personal preference. If my mom could afford to bring / ship gifts to me all the time she would. . but alas the money isn't there and I too would feel guilty if she did this (granted, now I do the same stupid thing)

If she wants to bring a gift, I think that's up to her and I dont believe theres etiquette about this.  I'd say if they're paying for the wedding, that alone is a HUGE gift IMO, but she may not be seeing it that way as its an older tradition that the brides family pays for the wedding.

Now that Im writing this, Im not sure if it makes any sense, but over all, she isn't
'required/supposed to' bring a gift to anything (otherwise it wouldn't be a gift)

I might say something like "It's a really nice gesture that you'd like to bring a gift, but it's really unnecessary sense you're already helping us out soo much as it is. You being there with me is the gift in itself' . . . .


Don't quote me on this though as all of my wording has been really off today for some reason lol.

ANSchick08

I'm not sure about the MOB but I've heard that people in the wedding party aren't even expected to give a gift at every shower so the MOB definitely doesn't.  I agree that paying for the wedding is a huge gift itself, but my mom also insisted on getting us a shower gift (we only had 1 shower).  So I guess just tell her that you really appreciate that she wants to give you so many gifts, it really isn't necessary.  But I know if it was my mom she wouldn't listen to me

meredithl618

I think it's up to her. I don't think anyone would notice if she doesn't and I honestly think it might be a little excessive for her to give gifts at both of these events in addition to what else she's doing.  So, just tell her not to worry about it!  

ashstwrt

My mom got me a gift, but it totally wasn't expected.  It was from her and my sister.  And also -- I think our guys have the same ring! Is it Scott Kay?