Reception Venue Help

JessicaLinick

Hello all.  My name is Jessica and I am a first time poster here.  My fiance and I got engaged about a month ago.  We live in Los Angeles, however we plan on getting married in New Jersey, as that is where my family is (his is from FL). 

I just wanted to put a call out on here to see if anyone had any reception venue reccommendations.  We are looking for the following in a venue:

1. Appropriate size for about 120 people to enjoy a sit-down dinner and a dance floor
2. A modern, simple look. Nothing ornate or too colorful (I don't want my colors to be dictated by the colors already in the room).
3. No ugly carpet!!! (haha...I'm not a Bridezilla, but I can't stand ugly carpets that take away from the decor )
4.  So far I have liked the looks of the Hyatt Place Jersey City and One Atlantic in Atlantic City. 

Unfortunately, my parents feel $100/person is too much to spend so those 2 places are well out of budget.  I just don't want to have to settle on a venue that I don't like that is not fitting for my FI and I just because my parents are not willing to spend more (unfortunately my FI was recently laid off so we have very little money). 

Any advice, suggestions, reccommendations are greatly appreciated.  Thank you in advance and I look forward to spending much more time here on the boards!

mbcdefg

Do you know if the $100pp includes tax and gratuity, or if that's just the base price?

Also, what time frame are you looking at? You may have more choices if you opt for a January-March date, when a lot of venues have winter discounts. A Friday or Sunday reception, or a Saturday afternoon reception, can also help you save money.

Some of the places in that approximate price range that FI and I considered booking were Bridgewater Manor in Bridgewater, Costa Del Sol in Union, The Empire Club in Little Ferry, Gran Centurions in Clark and The Tides Estate in North Haledon.

akmackay

Are you looking solely for a Saturday wedding? If you can, look at Friday and Sunday nights, even Saturday afternoon, as those times will be cheaper. Also time of year determines pricing. Jersey City and Atlantic City are two totally different areas- what area are you looking? Honestly, if your parents are paying and can't afford a place, you shouldn't and can't force them to. " I just don't want to have to settle on a venue that I don't like that is not fitting for my FI and I just because my parents are not willing to spend more". If that's the case- you need to figure out a way to pay for it yourselves, job or no job.

Just Jen

I am *SO* with you on the ugly carpet

You can try some of the Women's Clubs: Ridgewod and Glen Ridge are both popular. We looked at Glen Ridge, and it was lovely. For both, uou have to bring in your own caterer.

I've also been really curious about this loft space in Montclair:

http://www.eventsbyjoni.com/loft.htm

I don't know if anyone here is atcually getting married there, but I love the "idea" of it (I have no info on prices though)...

caketime

You are going to have to give in order to find a place that is a minimum of 120 and $100/pp - two very difficult items.  Also, do you want north or south Jersey because the two places you are thinking of are very far from from each other.  What day of week and what time of year?

Also, I should hope you are not meaning this how it sounds!  "I just because my parents are not willing to spend more" If you are, then you need to rethink everything.

JessicaLinick

Thank you ladies!  I will take a look at the places you suggested.  I should have stated in my initial post that we are looking for a Sunday wedding.  Also, while I really want a fall wedding, I think we are stuck with summer.  Due to many involved being either in school or teachers (including the groom!) it is much more convenient to have it over the summer when no one needs to miss class.

JustJen...a loft sounds perfect!!!  I will definitely check it out.

Akmackay...we are looking all over the state right now.  I prefer North Jersey, but my mother prefers South so we are just seeing what is out there.

Here's the thing...I have ALWAYS wanted a big elegant wedding, and my parents are well aware of that.  When my sister had her teeny wedding 6 years ago (the 80 people there were far too many people in her opinion! ), my parents made a point to tell both of us that I would not be forced to also have a small wedding just because she did.  So now, because they are expecting to pay the same amount they did for my sister (with a tiny bit added for inflation), I am already making lots of compromises (having the wedding in the summer, cutting people off the invite list to limit it to 120 people, etc) so please don't feel the need to chide me for not wanting to compromise on this.  I'm sure that every person here has the 1 thing that they are unwilling to compromise on for their wedding and for me, this is it.

caketime

Summer here is peak season so while a Sunday will be helpful you will still need to compromise as many places do have issues with that minimum.  Is the $100 including tax & gratuity? Tax and gratuity can add on 20% to each pp price.  More than likely you will get a better price and better minimum the further south you go in Jersey.

And as for chiding - if you always wanted a big elegant wedding than you should have been saving up for it.  Your parents, while it's very nice of them to pay for most of it, are under no obligation to pay one cent especially with the way the economy is now.  If you want something more than get a second job and put all of that money towards the wedding.  Or have your FI get a part time job if he can't find full-time and put that money towards the wedding.

mbcdefg

You can avoid compromising on whatever you want, if you're the one paying for it.

If someone else is footing the bill, then sorry, but you need to make adjustments. Even if you've already made adjustments. That's life.

You're right, there were a few aspects of planning that FI and I didn't want to compromise on. But those were the things that we paid for ourselves. If we couldn't have afforded it, we either would've given up that idea or found a way to pay for it (smaller wedding, pushed back the wedding until we COULD afford it, whatever).

JessicaLinick

I'm sorry...I was unaware that you all knew my financial situation.  My FI and I do not live frivolously.  We pay our rent, our bills, and for other necessities and put the *teeny* bit we have left over into savings.  We don't go out to eat every night, we don't go buying $100 jeans.  As a matter of fact, I am wearing clothes that are swimming on me after losing weight simply because I don't have money to go buy new clothes.  I really wish my job, that I work 60 hours a week at, paid more than what it does, but it doesn't.  And unfortunately my company is not in a position to give me more money, nor am I going to leave it with the economy the way that it is.  As for my FI, he of course is looking for a job...anyone who's been unemployed during the past couple of years should know that finding a job right now is not easy.  So please don't lecture me about how I should have been saving money if I've known forever that I want a big wedding.  I really don't think I am being unreasonable for expecting my parents to pay for the wedding that I want when they have been saying all these years that they would.  I turned here for support, and while some of you were nice enough to give it (THANK YOU!!!), the others of you have made me reluctant to seek out more advice here.

mbcdefg

Calm down.

We're just pointing out that you're not going to get much help here if you post about how you expect your parents to pay for your wedding and how you don't want to compromise on the size of it. Even if they promised they would. The "Just because my parents are not willing to spend more" line understandably doesn't make people want to help you.

Times are tough right now, and getting defensive about what's coming across as a sense of entitlement on your part (whether you mean it that way or not) is not going to work in your favor.

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:b2e355f1-a3e6-4cf5-8313-b58bc6fcccbc">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]So please don't lecture me about how I should have been saving money if I've known forever that I want a big wedding.  I really don't think I am being unreasonable for expecting my parents to pay for the wedding that I want when they have been saying all these years that they would.  I turned here for support, and while some of you were nice enough to give it (THANK YOU!!!), the others of you have made me reluctant to seek out more advice here.
Posted by JessicaLinick[/QUOTE]

<div>I think (and I may be alone in this) that you're entitled to be disappointed if you had an expectation and now you aren't getting it.  I really hope you aren't venting to your parents about this though because I bet they're really upset about losing the money.  And venting here is maybe not going to get you the sympathy you want because a lot of girls here have saved up for years, gotten several jobs, and paid for their entire weddings themselves.  There are people in all sorts of different financial circumstances here.  So when someone comes in and complains about how their parents can't give them as much money as they want, not everyone is going to be sympathetic.  And while I understand why you're bummed, I don't know that you're phrasing anything in a way that makes us feel all that bad for you.  Whether you intend it or not, some of what you said sounds a little bratty.  $100 jeans or no.</div><div>
</div><div>That said, a wedding absolutely need not be expensive to be fabulous.  And some of my favorite weddings to attend have been smaller, more unique (no ugly carpet!) affairs.  I think you need to figure out what your budget is realistically (looking at what your parents will be giving you, what you have, and what you'll be able to save over the months before the wedding), figure out what your options are in that price range, and go on from there.  Typically reception works out to be 50% of the overall wedding budget.  You'll have a lot of options (particularly if you can contribute by saving, and particularly if you look further south).  You can definitely pull off a fabulous wedding with some creativity.</div><div>
</div><div>EVERYONE has to compromise in some way or another when it comes to wedding plans, regardless of budget.  Location, size of wedding, time of year, time of day, time of week etc. can all be dictated by what the families (rather than the couple) want, religious traditions, convenience, availability, etc. Do you think Ivanka Trump really wanted to have a second reception for 1000 of her father's business associates a few days after her friends and family reception?  Do you think she had the choice to have her reception anywhere other than a Trump location?  I'm sure even with a huge budget, she made a ton of compromises.</div>

Just Jen

Jessica, I would just let the arguement go.

Many girls here are paying for their weddings themselves. I'm sure you can undersatnd how it would be irritating to be struggling to pay for something yourself, and then have someone whose parents have offered to pay complain that what they're getting is not enough.

caketime

Oh please quit your whining.  We all pay rent/mortgage, our own bills, do not go out every night, and put money in to savings.  The way you save up is to put your wedding off a year or two and help supplement what your parents are generously giving you.  

Yes, you are being unreasonable and yes you are being a spoiled child.  Your parents are willing to give you what they can.    Would you rather they go in to debt so you can have your pretty princess day?   They could just as easily say with the way the economy is we are unable to give you anything.

And by the way you should change your user name because everyone can find out everything about you right now.

lfoley02

you all are bullies. don't hold it against her that her parents are paying for her wedding. she was just looking for some simple advice.

NJMom050911

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:a786d2c9-b0ba-4157-9e22-22e0c72d4273">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]you all are bullies. don't hold it against her that her parents are paying for her wedding. she was just looking for some simple advice.
Posted by lfoley02[/QUOTE]

I don't think it has anything to do with her parents paying for her wedding, it's got a lot to do with the fact that she wants more than what they are willing to give.

mbcdefg

Nobody is arguing that it's wrong for her parents to pay for her wedding. Read the actual responses, and the original poster's comments about how they owe it to her and how she doesn't want to compromise to fit their budget, before you try and call people out under your one-post fake screen name.

caketime

Hello fake screen name poser.  Nobody is saying it's wrong for her parents to pay.  It's wrong for her to expect them to give and pay more.  It is her sense of entitlement that is the issue.

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:a786d2c9-b0ba-4157-9e22-22e0c72d4273">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]you all are bullies. don't hold it against her that her parents are paying for her wedding. she was just looking for some simple advice.
Posted by lfoley02[/QUOTE]

<div>I don't think anyone is bullying her because her parents are paying for her wedding.  Isn't her complaint that her parents AREN'T paying enough for the wedding?  I think most people's points were that she should be happy she's getting anything from them, and that lots of people don't get a penny from their parents and yet they somehow deal (and have nice weddings).</div>

carlaspeed

We are paying $90 per person at the Atrium for a Sunday wedding in October, the price is the same, all year long, regardless if it's high peak or winter. The price is normally $79 per person plus 20% gratuity plus 7% tax, but we negotiated the rate to $70 per person. I love the place, the food is excellent, management is very professional and the service is great! Ask for Bill.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM or I can give you my e-mail, same financial situation here so below are affordable recs for vendors, good luck!

atrium-Bill
http://www.atriumcaterers.com
pics-Raquel
http://www.rememberwhendigital.com

still deciding
flowers:
http://www.avenueflowerspc.com -Nathan
http://fourseasonsweddingflowers.com -Pearle
DJ
3D DJ 973-887-7126-Bob
http://www.jerseypartydj.com -Victor
video
http://smifilms.com/weddingsmain.html -Joel
make up
Cynthia Wicker lovelyexpressions4u at yahoo
Hair
Belen Ferri 908-279-3123
Limo
http://www.bergenlimo.com
need to do more research for the limo

PS: There are other cheaper places out there but they are not as nice as the Atrium in my opinion

the grand centurions $75 with tax and gratutity and they are giving $500 off bridal show special
http://www.thegrancenturions.com/

the hanover manor $75 with tax and gratuity
http://www.thehanovermanor.com

JessicaLinick

The intention of the original post was not to whine. Like I stated in it, I was looking for suggestions.  Some of you were nice enough to give some.  Some of you feel that I should give in and settle for a venue I don't like that doesn't fit mine and my FI's personality and if you think that, that's fine...we are all entitled to our opinions.  However, there is no need to be rude and snappy about it, and that is where I start to get defensive.  We are all in the situations that we are in.  There is no need to judge someone because their situation is different than yours, and I think it's safe to say that is what some people on this board are doing.  So I say again, THANK YOU to everyone who gave advice and suggestions, whether you agree with my opinions or not.  To those of you who feel it necessary to snap at me and judge me, shame on you.  And Caketime...feel free to go ahead and Google search me. You'll find out that I work out 3ality Digital, have an out of date IMDB page, have a private FB page, and that some websites think I'm a celebrity with a height worth nothing.  Enjoy your findings :-)

uppereastgirl

... and seriously, what advice are we supposed to give?  Her parents don't have the money to give her, she and her husband apparently can't make more money nor can they cut things out of their budgets to save more.  So what are we supposed to advise?  Get adopted by new, rich parents?  Set up a website begging for donations towards the wedding?  Pay for the wedding with fraudulent credit cards?  Become a drug dealer/high-class escort?  Sell stolen goods on ebay?

caketime

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:852acac2-df3d-423d-a9a6-31ff8a96dc0a">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]The intention of the original post was not to whine. Like I stated in it, I was looking for suggestions.  Some of you were nice enough to give some.  Some of you feel that I should give in and settle for a venue I don't like that doesn't fit mine and my FI's personality and if you think that, that's fine...we are all entitled to our opinions.  However, there is no need to be rude and snappy about it, and that is where I start to get defensive.  We are all in the situations that we are in.  There is no need to judge someone because their situation is different than yours, and I think it's safe to say that is what some people on this board are doing.  So I say again, THANK YOU to everyone who gave advice and suggestions, whether you agree with my opinions or not.  To those of you who feel it necessary to snap at me and judge me, shame on you.  And Caketime...feel free to go ahead and Google search me. You'll find out that I work out 3ality Digital, have an out of date IMDB page, have a private FB page, and that some websites think I'm a celebrity with a height worth nothing.  Enjoy your findings :-)
Posted by JessicaLinick[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I was trying to be helpful as you will become inundated with vendors emailing you and others trying to setup accounts for you.  Yes, this has happened before which is why I was being helpful if you took your head out of your ass for a second you would see that.</div><div>
</div><div>And as uppereast set what type of advice are we supposed to give?  She's not giving in or wanting to compromise.  The only item she is stating is how can she get her parents to give her more money.
</div>

cherylanddan0706

I take a break from a busy day and I see this...woah...I must say I am excited that we seem to have gotten off the old "I feel sorry for your FI/H's" and onto the "you are all bullies!"
Now for my two cents-

OP (since you are new this means Original Poster), no one was ganging up on you or bullying you, they were just explaining themselves and how you came off, in the HOPES that you would realize it wasn't what you meant or meant to come off as.  You in turn jumped and got really defensive, which in my opinion means, that you feel bad for saying the things you said, you feel bad for feeling the way you feel (even if its small) because people do not get defensive in situations like this unless they know they are wrong.

Now, you can start over, give us an area you are okay with (maybe what area your family lives around) and keep in mind that in New Jersey, Summer is PEAK top of the Peak, I believe like May-Oct are top price for a Saturday wedding, you can make it work if you cut other non-necessity things out, just keep in mind that you will have to cut things out that you might have wanted.

(BTW, I don't wear $100 jeans, and my Uggs are Fuggs)

Lolyalyssa

You said less than $100 per person?  How much less?

(keep in mind that in NJ you have to pay typically a %20 service fee on the total bill, tax on the total bill and sometimes and additional 1-2% on the total bill to the Maitre'd.)

Northern NJ:
Try the Manor in West Orange on Sunday afternoon or the Empire Club in Little Ferry for the same.  Also, I like Stony Hill Inn in Hackensack.

I think you can do it for $100 per person INCLUDING tax and gratuity but its pretty hard to do it for a lot less (based on my experience). 

I'm having 125ppl on a Sunday night so my basis for telling you this comes from looking at similar venues recently. 

In Southern NJ:
Try any of the small B & B's in Cape May, NJ.  Try Oyster Point Hotel and Molly Pitcher Inn both in Red Bank.

PS Don't take all this other stuff personally.  It just sometimes happens on this board.  Sometimes you are asking one question and you reveal another unrelated detail that people jump on and comment about.  Just ask more succinct questions if you want to avoid this type of thing.  Otherwise you just have to toughen up.

brad1431

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:747f6d89-1366-42cb-ab39-850a4e853f2e">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh please quit your whining.  We all pay rent/mortgage, our own bills, do not go out every night, and put money in to savings.  The way you save up is to put your wedding off a year or two and help supplement what your parents are generously giving you.   Yes, you are being unreasonable and yes you are being a spoiled child.  Your parents are willing to give you what they can.    Would you rather they go in to debt so you can have your pretty princess day?   They could just as easily say with the way the economy is we are unable to give you anything. And by the way you should change your user name because everyone can find out everything about you right now.
Posted by caketime[/QUOTE]

loving this post

cherylanddan0706

In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:dc5e7b3b-7a42-46f8-b08a-f6060b045ceb">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]You said less than $100 per person?  How much less? (keep in mind that in NJ you have to pay typically a %20 service fee on the total bill, tax on the total bill and sometimes and additional 1-2% on the total bill to the Maitre'd.) Northern NJ: Try the Manor in West Orange on Sunday afternoon or the Empire Club in Little Ferry for the same.  Also, I like Stony Hill Inn in Hackensack. I think you can do it for $100 per person INCLUDING tax and gratuity but its pretty hard to do it for a lot less (based on my experience).  I'm having 125ppl on a Sunday night so my basis for telling you this comes from looking at similar venues recently.  In Southern NJ: Try any of the small B & B's in Cape May, NJ.  Try Oyster Point Hotel and Molly Pitcher Inn both in Red Bank. PS Don't take all this other stuff personally.  It just sometimes happens on this board.  Sometimes you are asking one question and you reveal another unrelated detail that people jump on and comment about.  Just ask more succinct questions if you want to avoid this type of thing.  Otherwise you just have to toughen up.
Posted by Lolyalyssa[/QUOTE]

Wait, maybe I missed it, Molly Pitcher and Oyster Point Summer wedding for under 100 pp?  I remember it being higher for my Friday November Wedding.

Lolyalyssa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:6fe02cfe-88cc-48d6-9a1b-6873b5b60b56">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Venue Help : Wait, maybe I missed it, Molly Pitcher and Oyster Point Summer wedding for under 100 pp?  I remember it being higher for my Friday November Wedding.
Posted by cherylanddan0706[/QUOTE]

I know someone who did a Sunday afternoon buffet style wedding at Oyster Point in the summer for about $100 per person.

Maybe its higher for Friday night since its more food and alcohol?

JessicaLinick

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:b7e189d9-44bf-4734-a065-92d1f6c9b5c8">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reception Venue Help : I was trying to be helpful as you will become inundated with vendors emailing you and others trying to setup accounts for you.  Yes, this has happened before which is why I was being helpful if you took your head out of your ass for a second you would see that. And as uppereast set what type of advice are we supposed to give?  She's not giving in or wanting to compromise.  The only item she is stating is how can she get her parents to give her more money.
Posted by caketime[/QUOTE]

The advice you are supposed to give is the advice that I asked for, which is for venues.  As you can see from the original post I don't live in New Jersey which is why I was seeking advice from those that do.

I'm sorry if you all feel that I am some spoiled brat who is crying because daddy won't buy me a pony, because that is not who I am.

Now...do I think it is unreasonable for my parents to expect my 120 person formal sitdown dinner in New Jersey to cost the same as my sister's 80 person casual buffet in MD did 6 years ago?  Yes, and I think most people would agree with me on that.

Could some things I said have been worded a little bit differently? Possibly.  I thought I was pretty clear that I was looking for a solution on how to find a venue that fit all of our criteria, not a way to squeeze more money out of my parents.  I apologize if any of you misunderstood what I was looking for, however I do not apologize for my situation.

P.S.  I promise that I did not make up a fake name and call everyone bullies.  That is a completely different person.

Lolyalyssa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:11426267-5e8f-4abc-9578-a386d01512a5">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE]INow...do I think it is unreasonable for my parents to expect my 120 person formal sitdown dinner in New Jersey to cost the same as my sister's 80 person casual buffet in MD did 6 years ago?  Yes, and I think most people would agree with me on that. Posted by JessicaLinick[/QUOTE]

Oh its going to cost probably at least double.  NJ is one of the most expensive states to get married in. (outside of NYC)

I'm spending about %60 more for food than what some of my friends in Chicago paid. 

You can try looking in the Philly area or Westchester or Long Island too depending where you family is coming from.

caketime

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_reception-venue-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:e7c0d749-2781-4f03-86ff-58e49b355cc6Post:11426267-5e8f-4abc-9578-a386d01512a5">Re: Reception Venue Help</a>:
[QUOTE] Now...do I think it is unreasonable for my parents to expect my 120 person formal sitdown dinner in New Jersey to cost the same as my sister's 80 person casual buffet in MD did 6 years ago?  Yes, and I think most people would agree with me on that. Could some things I said have been worded a little bit differently? Possibly.  I thought I was pretty clear that I was looking for a solution on how to find a venue that fit all of our criteria, not a way to squeeze more money out of my parents.  I apologize if any of you misunderstood what I was looking for, however I do not apologize for my situation. P.S.  I promise that I did not make up a fake name and call everyone bullies.  That is a completely different person.
Posted by JessicaLinick[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes, I will agree with you that your parents expecting to pay what they did 6 years ago in MD is just not realistic for this area.  But unfortunately, if that is what they have or want to spend than there is nothing which can be done about that.</div><div>
</div><div>You first need to find out if they are thinking $100pp already inclusive of tax & gratuity or if that can be added on (remember think 20% in addition so more like $120-$125pp).  </div><div>Do you want to be the only event happening at the time?  That will make it much harder with your minimum and price.</div><div>As I said before the further south in Jersey you go the more your money will go as well as a lower minimum.  Check out the South Jersey board and give them your minimum, price, time of year, day of the week, and what you are looking for.  They will have a better idea what you can get there as we are more North/Centralish.</div><div>Also, would you consider more of a west Jersey or PA type of area?</div>

jtheiss

You could look at Perona Farms in north Jersey. We're getting married there on a Friday in June and it was $90pp before tax and gratuity (BUT, we booked early enough to get the 2009 rate and we got another discount for booking within 2 weeks of our initial visit or something). A Sunday in March they might be able to do for under $100pp all inclusive, especially if you let them know your situation.

As for the other stuff, consider this from your parents point of view. They gave daughter A $x for her wedding, which covered the price for the whole shindig. Now daughter B is getting married, but she wants a bigger wedding, in NJ, in the summer, at a desirable hall, with a larger guest list. Is it fair for them to spend gobs of money on your wedding when they didn't do the same for their other daughter (regardless of the fact that she didn't want a big wedding)? In my family, my parents were all about even-steven for all of us girls. Same number of x-mas gifts, same rules, same amount of financial help. My parents are giving us a VERY small amount to go toward the wedding. In NJ, it might cover the photographer and the flowers. My sisters who will get married in Wisconsin will likely be able to throw a pretty good bash for the same amount of money. Should my parents have given me more money just because I chose a more expensive locale for the wedding? I think your parents are being fair to you and your sister and it's kind of unreasonable to expect them to adjust what they're giving you based on INFLATION and the fact that you want a big wedding.

Are you and FI contributing NOTHING to the wedding? Are your parents paying for everything? You say that your situation prevents you from saving any money for the wedding, so if that's the case, then YES you do need to compromise to have a wedding that fits into your parents' budget. Sorry, but that's the truth. If you want a different kind of wedding you'll have to supplement with your own money. Or what about FI's family? What are they contributing to this whole thing? The days when the bride's family would foot the whole bill are ancient history, so maybe you could tap FI's parents for some extra cash.