New Jersey

Setting a date question

Part of me really wants to take the time to plan a wedding for next year some time and really do it right and part of me really wants to just get it done quickly and get on with life, start a family etc. For those who are much farther along in all this than I am, any pros or cons to either? Thanks!

Re: Setting a date question

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    I got engaged in June and am getting married in April (~10 month engagement).  I think you can easily plan a wedding in that time frame without feeling overwhelmed and still have enough time to pay attention to every detail.  I'm about three months out now and I wish it was here already!  Unless you're waiting to save up money or waiting for a date at the venue you love, I would do a year or less engagement.
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    I got engaged in August 2011 and I'm getting married this May (20 months). We chose a long engagement for 2 reasons: 1) to save money and 2) I wanted to get married in the spring but spring 2012 was way too soon for us. I'm officially sick of wedding planning and have been for a while. A long engagement is definitely not for everyone. 

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    We have a 2 year engagement, almost to the day (engaged Aug 12, 2011 and we'll be married August 10, 2013). Honestly, I have enjoyed having an long engagement so far. We're able to plan things without getting overly stressed out between wedding planning and both being first graduate students, then first year teachers. I'd explode without the extra time!
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    Im only a few months into being engaged (Sept 2012) and my wedding is Oct 2014.  A long engagement wasn't what we had in mind but financially we had no other choice.  It does give you plenty of time to figure everything out so theres no rushing or settling for second best but I do hate waiting so long to marry the love of my life and best friend.  We're both super excited and neither of us has a lot of patience so its hard waiting but I know in the end itll be worth it.
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    We were engaged 20 months before we got married.  I was a full-time grad student and wanted to wait until I was done before we got married.  While I would have preferred to only have waited a year, it just wasn't realistic.  I'm glad I had the extra time to plan everything and everyone complimented me on how every last detail was thought through on my wedding day.  I had my pick of vendors, I didn't have to pay any rush fees (which you most likely will do with your wedding dress), and I didn't have to spend money on a wedding planner to help do footwork and negotiating for me.  One of my friends had an 8-month engagement.  It was totally do-able, but she had to hire a planner and basically had to settle with what was available and just felt stressed and never really enjoyed the engagement period.  One bonus of doing a wedding within the year is that some venues and vendors are more open to make deals since they want to get booked.  Most vendors get booked at least a year in advance here in NJ, so any available vendors will be happy to have the short-notice business.  
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    Good topic! We had a 10 month engagement. At the time we were looking at venues we were not sure if we were going to get married in 2011 or 2012. We decided on 2011, hence the 10 month engagement. Deciding on how long your engagement is really depends on how organized you are and what else you have going on in your life at that time. For example, if you are super unorganized and are finishing up your last year of med school, I would suggest a longer engagement. I have seen people plan weddings in 3 months and not miss a single detail.
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    edited January 2013
    We got engaged at the end of this past August, and then booked our wedding in early October for an October 2013 event.

    This gives us a full year to plan. Originally, we were looking at a July 2013 wedding and it came down to two dates that would work for us - July 6th and our date in October that we chose.

    We thought that July would be a bit tough, although it would have been possible.

    It all depends on if you know what you want, don't need to save money and can just book things quickly. If you want to do more research or want to think things over, then a longer engagement is better.

    For us, a year (and one month) is just about perfect.  The first month of our engagement, we just "enjoyed" it (whatever that means - basically just means no planning), and then have 1 year to finalize everything.

    Oh - I should also mention that we are "older" - I'll be 30 and he will be 33 next October. We have been together for over 7 years and are both working full time for quite some time now. I am done with graduate school and FI is currently in graduate s school, but beyond his time commitments for grad school, we are able to do a 1 year engagement.
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    I have a feeling it will all come down to how much this costs and how long it will take to save. Looking at the wedding budget planner, things are going to be more than expected:-(
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    JoeAnne2013JoeAnne2013 member
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    edited January 2013
    Engaged 1/28/12, getting married on 10/1/14...

    I chose to have a long engagement due to money. FI and I are paying for the bulk of the wedding ourselves, FI is establishing himself in his new line of work and we are still living in the downstairs portion of his parents house. We have 10 months left of saving, once everything is saved we will have our wedding paid for and will be hopefully moving into our own place around November of this year.

    I have to say, the long engagement has definitely been enjoyable! I figure if we are going to spend the rest of our lives together there is no rush and I have been able to really take my time with the planning.
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    I really love fall weddings. If we do October, that is only 9 months out. Eeeek! But if I wait until October or November 2014, we will have been engaged almost 2 years and that seems like a long time to wait. Fiance is no help. "Whatever you want to do is fine with me."
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    I'm having a 2 1/2 year engagement because FI needs to finish school, I need to finish up my masters, and we need to save. Even though my parents are helping with a lot we would still like to have steady incomes before we get married.

    Plus I have forever with him. So the extra time, even though it sucks, isn't all that bad. 
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