Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook

connor24

Allforyou- Well I know that my OB would not give me a C-Section unless it was necessary..I am just suprised that an OB would just give the mother a C-Sec for no reason.

DMLJ

Tinydancer- Vaginal birth= MIGHT need a few stiches for tearing C-Section= DEFINITELY need stiches for the large hole in your abdomen

Connor- it really is very common.

tinydancer842

I know pretty much every female in my fam has had bad tearing so that is the cause of my fears over child birth haha.

allforyou

connor- research says that the current c-section rate is around 33% of all births. there was actually an article yesterday on the daily record talking about how NJ has the highest c-section rates in the country (42%). while c-sections are needed, they are way over used.

for those who fear tearing- it is really not that bad. a few stitches do not hurt, however i imagine that staples to keep your abdomen closed definitely hurts.

NJ Jen

I found the stitches to be more uncomfortable than the staples, by far....

ffbride_0813

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_announcing-scheduled-c-section-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:ed196358-d667-463f-aaad-809421ecb4adPost:1c2bf74a-766e-43d8-a435-bfdc207223ed">Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]There was a post on I think Money Matters on the Nest a few weeks ago that I think is much clearer oversharing.  MMer's friend had a blog about her pregnancy and then her birth.  Not only were pictures of the water birth shared, but the blogger also wrote that the midwife recommended sex after birth for some reason or another, so she and her husband had sex right after.  *THAT* is oversharing.  And there was an update a few days later that she *somehow* got an infection down there shortly thereafter.  Awesome.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

I saw this post too.  It was horrible.

Lolyalyssa

There is a hospital on Staten Island that stopped doing scheduled C-Sections all together.  They will only do C-Sections for medical emergencies and in rare cases where it is absolutely necessary.  VBAC's (vaginal birth after cesarean) are being performed there all the time.

They haved save a TON of MONEY because C-Sections are expensive.   Health insurance companies love saving money so they are spending lots of money advertising and pushing natural child birth.

A big reason why there is a trend towards natural child birth is because its CHEAPER and not to mention its SAFER for the mother in most cases.  A reason its so popular is because the advertising is working.

TuffysMommie

I really don't see any problem with announcing a scheduled c-section on facebook. For lack of a better word, her "friends" are the ones that can see her status updates and will be happy for the birth of her child, no matter how it is born.

There could be medical reasons (as stated by many above) that a c-section was scheduled and since we are not her, we cannot judge.

Someone very close to me had a scheduled c-section due to a chronic medical condition and went into natural labor a month early. We had all been prepared for the "date" and the surgery, but nature changed that. Things happen - a month early is scary, not having any "birth classes" is scary (cause you think you're getting a c-section), etc... We all just wanted the mother and baby safe. (And everything was absolutely fine) I would think/thought no less of that mother/child combination no matter how that baby was born - I just wanted them healthy.

Just send your friend congratulations.

NJgurl19

I don't see anything wrong with announcing it on facebook. With that being said not that I approve of it, but I can understand why someone would prefer a C-section over natural birth, because natural birth is scary! LOL

Lola Minnie

I don't see anything wrong with announcing scheduled C on FB because it is a broad format to let friends and family know when the birth of your child will be if you do not have time to call.  With that said, if it goes into more detail then it gets a bit creepy.
Some people have no filters on fb - that's when you can either laugh at them or use the hide feature.

mrs.amma

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_announcing-scheduled-c-section-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:ed196358-d667-463f-aaad-809421ecb4adPost:9ef84422-bea3-457b-9bac-de6c3c6b4ee1">Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]I had a "friend" post that she was pregnant the second she found out (which was very early on) then about how she miscarried....TMI....I deleted her after that since we aren't close at all.  Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

do we have the same friend??? lol I just had a friend do this! That's why you dont shar until 2nd trimester.

I dont know how you guys feel about it, but I think its an overshare when your FB pic is your ultrasound. Especially when its those 3-D ones that you can see the baby very clearly (they look like aliens! lol). Don't get me wrong I love kids and I like seeing people's ultrasound pics...but once, not every time you update your status on FB.

leah2b

Don't mean to scare anyone but a lot can go wrong with natural births aside from "tearing", including damage to baby and damage to mother's reproductive organs, bowels, and bladder (I'm talking some things you do not want to hear about).  THese risks increase with age of mother at time of birth. You don't hear about them as much because people do not want to talk about them.  I see them quite frequently in my line of work (lawyer).  Also, if the baby is growing too big, it is prudent to do a C-section.  So yes, there are reasons to choose a c-section even if it is not certain that it is medically neccessary.

I do find it distasteful if someone just got one for scheduling reasons.

Julephenia

Oh, there are risks just getting pregnant. Propogating the species is no easy feat!

It's just that there seems to be a culture of "Well, I'll have the baby when it's convienent for ME," which, even if I'm not a parent, yet, sounds like the Number One way to a) mess up the kid, and b) have the kid rule your life just to spite you. It's a HUGE life change, and once Baby is here... yeah. Life as you know it is gone. (I observe my cousins and the few friends who have babies. Let me just say that their FBs tend to revolve around the kids.)

I guess I've just seen people have C-sections because we were terrified we'd lose both mother and baby, and then I've seen people have a C-section done wrong because their doctor was an idiot and insisted on scheduling it... and then didn't know what the hell s/he was doing.

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_announcing-scheduled-c-section-facebook?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ed196358-d667-463f-aaad-809421ecb4adPost:46edcbb5-3fb4-407e-81bf-369f2a7230d6">Re: Announcing your scheduled C-section on facebook</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, there are risks just getting pregnant. Propogating the species is no easy feat! It's just that there seems to be a culture of "Well, I'll have the baby when it's convienent for ME," which, even if I'm not a parent, yet, sounds like the Number One way to a) mess up the kid, and b) have the kid rule your life just to spite you. It's a HUGE life change, and once Baby is here... yeah. Life as you know it is gone. (I observe my cousins and the few friends who have babies. Let me just say that their FBs tend to revolve around the kids.) I guess I've just seen people have C-sections because we were terrified we'd lose both mother and baby, and then I've seen people have a C-section done wrong because their doctor was an idiot and insisted on scheduling it... and then didn't know what the hell s/he was doing.
Posted by Julephenia[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I see your point, but as long as the baby is fully cooked, is it really so bad to have the c-section?  C-sections always come before the baby would have been naturally born (because if the baby is already born, too late for the c-section), so it isn't like you can use it as a tactic to delay the start of your parenting responsibility/huge life change.  I don't think you can really schedule a c-section for Thursday because you have a birthday party to go to on Saturday and you don't want it to be messed up by being in labor, because either way you're missing that party (if anything, you're probably better off just hoping that the baby decides to wait a few more days).  Or am I missing something here?  It just doesn't seem like someone who is selfish and busy would really be able to benefit by having the baby a few days early, because as you say, once the baby is here, life is different.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, I don't think I've seen anyone comment on this, but is the c-section much more dangerous for the baby than a natural birth?  If not, is it really awful if that's the route the mother decides to go?  Particularly because general anesthesia isn't involved?  It isn't a super risky surgery, and it is the mother's body that is affected, so if the baby isn't going to be harmed is it really that different from some of the other medical decisions people make?

</div>

allforyou

c-sections are risky because it is surgery. there is an increase chance of infections. also c-sections become an issue when you plan on having multiple children. there is something about the placenta and where it grows after you have had a c-section and it makes the procedure more risky.

plus i cannot believe that someone would choose to have surgery. yes it is common, but it is still SURGERY. it hurts to walk, cough, laugh after that surgery. you cannot hold your baby right away. you have to make sure to clean your incision all the time. you have to go to get. When showering you have to make sure the water doesn't hit the wound. if you already have a child you won't be able to pick him or her up. why you would electively pick those things is beyond me. yes sometimes c-sections are needed, but really natural birth ain't that bad. it might sound horrifying, but it truly is a wonderful experience.

Julephenia

PP is right. It's surgery. The friend whose baby was pulled at 29 weeks was in horrible pain for days, and she could barely move.

It may be a common surgery, and relatively simple, but it is going into your abdomen, right with all your organs!

From a wholistic (some would say Eastern) point of view, you're also seriously screwing with hormones, energy cycles, and the natural process of pregnancy and birth. There's a belief that a child who is not placed on the mother's stomach immediately after birth -  to orient and ground through the sound of her heartbeat - can have emotional and physical setbacks in the long run. Those who believe this tend to avoid C-sections except in emergencies.

Also, IIRC, C-sections can screw with milk production. Yanking baby before labor confuses the body. (Which is why I often question "fully cooked"... how do we know? ... On the other hand, I was born 3 weeks late, very OBVIOUSLY late... full head of hair, very long nails, and over 9 lbs. So, sometimes the baby just takes his or her sweet time. I maintain I didn't want an April birthday. ;P)

DMLJ

Julephenia- we def need to meet cause I couldn't agree more.  When it comes to babies and motherhood, I am very traditional.... in fact i would **like** to not even get an epidural (but if I can't take the pain I'll do it).    I'll never understand why a woman would choose major surgery if she can do it the "old fashioned way"

I was also a late baby and I think most drs. today would induce our mothers for being so late, but my moms dr. monitored me well and knew that I would be fine if she waited a little bit longer.  My due date was Oct 26 and I was born Nov 15

connor24

I also said I didn't want the epidural but I was 2 weeks late so they induced me. Once  that potocin kicked that epidural couldn't come faster. Alot of doctors don't want to go over 2 weeks of your due date because for the safety of the baby.

DMLJ

You really need a good dr. you can trust with to know when to induce.  Things have changed though since I was born and due dates are much more accurate.  I def. understand that there is a need for induction--- but I did hear that it is more painful with the petocin?  I'm not 100% no to drugs, but I'd like to see if I can do it.

connor24

Yea if you can do it thats great..My mom said the same thing, that when she had me she was 3 weeks late. The pitocin starts your contractions, I went from none to 1 minute apart within an hour.

connor24

Plus I totally trusted my OB..I dont think I could wait any longer my son was over 9 pounds...lol

uppereastgirl

I understand that it is surgery, but as long as you're making the decision about your own body is it really anyone's business?  People have non-mandatory surgery all the time -- purely cosmetic surgery, reconstructive surgery, wisdom tooth extraction when it isn't medically necessary (lots of dentists recommend it to almost everyone because there can be complications when they come in), knee replacement (sure, the person is in a ton of pain, but they still get to say when enough is enough).  I would imagine (but admittedly am guessing) that it would be unethical for a doctor to do a c-section if there was absolutely no medical reason for it, and I also suspect that insurance wouldn't cover the surgery unless there was an articulable reason for it.

And okay, it can mess up breastfeeding -- but can't a long, bad natural birth do the same?  And I don't know what to make of the putting the baby on the stomach thing, but is that accepted enough in the Western world to really be a good argument against c-sections?

I'm at least in part playing devil's advocate here, but fundamentally I just don't understand why a woman would opt, for convenience's sake, to have a baby days before she would otherwise, in a manner that would be more painful for her and that would take a lot more recovery time.  How would that be at all convenient?  Therefore, I imagine that there's more to most of these c-sections than a woman just saying "You know, I really want my baby to be born on a Tuesday, because that's a good day for me, so I guess they're going to have to carve it out of me."  Maybe doctors are pushing them more than they should or something, but I still haven't heard the reason why women would choose this option if there isn't more to the story.  Which leads me to believe that there is usually more to the story, which we maybe don't know, and therefore we shouldn't assume the reasons are selfish and we shouldn't judge.

inkulio73

I agree about announcing it on FB.  That being said, my wife had an emergency c-section after being in active labor for 24 hours after her water broke.  When we have another child, it will have to be a scheduled c-section because she is not a good candidate for a VBAC.

So, sometimes people need to schedule it, but don't need to announce it to the world on FB. 

Julephenia

Finding some interesting articles:

http://www.childbirthconnection.org/article.asp?ck=10456

http://www.childbirth.org/section/CSFact.html

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-01-07-csections_N.htm

I'm going to go more than a little cynical here and blame the pervasive Western, male-oriented approach of a) disdaining nature's way (hello, women have been birthing children for tens of THOUSANDS of years), b) letting the health care industry do the decision making (that's a month of rants and problem solving right there), and c) an information gap. (My grandmother gave birth to all three of her children completely knocked out and unconcious. She had absolutely no birth stories to share with her daughters. SCARY.)

Of course the picture is complex, but what I keep seeing and hearing is a fear of natural labor that pervades the US. ...I'm not saying giving birth doesn't scare me - heck, it IS scary - but it looks like our country is letting that dictate decisions instead of realizing, biologically, women are made to do this!

smw42

Julephenia & DMLJ thank you- I couldn't have said it better myself and I 100% agree.