Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:30484064-1f96-454c-8bba-7809dab2a470">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]Caketime: Cancun Spring Break season is like what you described.. but during the non-peak season it's not so skanky.   I just made a suggestion of Cancun as a party city .. he can go to any party destination he'd like, Miami.. Cancun.. etc.  with the exception of Montreal (because of Legalized Prostituion) and Vegas because of the quantity of Strip Clubs (and quality as in Spearmint Rhino).   
Posted by misschristinec[/QUOTE]

So you really think that if your fiance went to a city with legalized prostitution, he would go for it?  Wow.  (I'm assuming that must be the case because otherwise it wouldn't matter if he went to Montreal or not).

On the other hand, I don't understand why he wouldn't just cheat on you at home if he wanted to have sex with another girl that bad.

I would really try to work this out before you make a legal commitment to him.

MelanieK2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:1450d219-cc07-4d49-9755-59ce080d5eb4">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]I keep thinking about this post! I don't want to leave you with out any hope. I think you can still save this. You need to sit down with your FI. Tell him you are sorry for insulting and embarrassing him, and that was not your intention. Tell him you care about him and that you really want him to be happy and to be open with you. if you can't get past the strip club thing, you could go one step further and perhaps offer something really cool that he would never do for himself. For instance, does he totally love a particular sports team? Set up (don't finalize but get info for plans) on sending him to see them at an awesome away game. Does he like horse or car racing? Get the info on an invitational. Do some research with him in mind and talk to his best man. Tell them you want him to be happy and didn't meant to get off on a bad foot with the guys. Pass off the information as a suggestion. You can totally salvage this if you are open, understanding and creative. I suggest any girls that aren't into their guys doing a traditional b-party offer really cool alternatives. You want them to have a night they'll never forget and it doesn't have to involve boobies. Good luck!
Posted by LuckyBrideToBe0013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think this is a really good idea.  I also think that when you sit down with your FI, you need to discuss what is making you not trust him, why you feel insecure, etc.  In fact, maybe this whole bachelor/bachelorette party dilemma is almost a good thing: it can make you think and talk about any issues you have before you actually go down the aisle.  Better now than later!

</div>

brad1431

Can we forbid your Fi from marrying a woman who wants to control his entire life and dictate his every action? 

Does he have to get permission on what he can and cannot wear to work?

Can he picks his own friends?  or can you forbid him from being friends with certain people too?

does he need permission to take a dump?

kewltif

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:8a7987ef-1c03-4bd5-959b-321655d73bff">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]Can we forbid your Fi from marrying a woman who wants to control his entire life and dictate his every action?  Does he have to get permission on what he can and cannot wear to work? Can he picks his own friends?  or can you forbid him from being friends with certain people too? does he need permission to take a dump?
Posted by brad1431[/QUOTE]

For once, I agree with Brad! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

mscutieri

Wow brad, I have to say that not only do I agree with you (which I thought would never happen), but I have to say that in general you have not been nearly as critical as usual.  Are you losing your edge?

brad1431

losing my edge??  Nah, just working too much to have time to check in here.  This chick sounds like a biotch, and so did the other girl.  If my Fiance forbid me from doing something,  I would want to do it even more. 

god forbid people actually communicate and trust each other.  Ya know some of the things that marriage is supposed to be based on. 

I bet he divorces her if he even makes it to the wedding day.  He is gonna gind a chick that lets him do the things that she forbids and cheat on her with that woman

uppereastgirl

In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:3285ef88-286d-43f8-9141-a314d8613b32">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]losing my edge??  Nah, just working too much to have time to check in here.  This chick sounds like a biotch, and so did the other girl.  If my Fiance forbid me from doing something,  I would want to do it even more.  god forbid people actually communicate and trust each other.  Ya know some of the things that marriage is supposed to be based on.  I bet he divorces her if he even makes it to the wedding day.  He is gonna gind a chick that lets him do the things that she forbids and cheat on her with that woman
Posted by brad1431[/QUOTE]

I'm really glad that both boys chimed in here.  And Brad, I'm glad you added this -- I was disappointed that your first post didn't go into more detail :)

cvl105

blowies = my new favorite word

kle0113

LOL Brad!  For once, I am in total agreement with you! 

kewltif

It took me a really long time to figure out what "delihma" meant.

teamAandE

This is odd. First off, I was simply JEALOUS of DHs BP in Vegas but no way would I not let him go!!! I just wished I could do that too! He had a great time, I haven't seen ONE photo and I don't care. If you are marrying someone and you are not 100% certain on how they would behave when put in such a situation you should prob reevaluate whether you know them well enough to even get married!

You need to relax.

crazy4u201

I haven't had a chance to check the knot for responses and I see everyone flipped out! 

First off I would like t say that NO he does not have a problem with being a stipper addict and goes to strip clubs all the time.  I 100% trust him.  I don't believe that he will cheat on me.  We have been together since I was 17 and I am almost 24..

No, I have not been to Vegas.  He went once when he was 21 for my cousins bachlor party.

Misschristine actually took the words right out of my mouth.  It is not that I don't trust him with disgusting stripers........... I just don't like the idea.  Everyone has things in their relationship that they might not like and they have an understanding with one another.  He wouldn't want me with strippers either!!!  So it is a compromise.  I trust him but I don't trust some of his friends... and btw... his friends arent planning crap.  I would say that only 1 friend would be able to go.. the rest are all newlywed with pregnant wives or with newborn babies. 

I alson would like to say that I am not chaperoning this trip by all means.  All I ment is that we would make it fun with everyone.  Take the flight together and then do our seperate things at night.. maybe do dinner together one night or hangout by the pool during the day.  Some people actually do combined parties.  Whats the big deal with that??

Another thing is that I don't want him to go crazy with the casino.  I am NOT saying he has a gambling problem (it seems everyone jumps when things are said on here) but he does like to play black jack and for him to be in a casino for a few days on end... I don't know how smart that would be before we get married.  If he went to AC it would be one night and one day because he would go back to work.

So.. in conclusion it is a few things.  Its not wanting him to be soo far and spending alot of $ before we get married.... its the thought of grimy stippers throwing themselves on him and his friends or cousins or whoever winds up going does.... so its just something that I discussed with him. 

My real concern was why he is acting strange.  We've talked about it the last 2 days and he is just really stressed out with work and worrying about where we are giong to live.  Its alot to think about and figure out before the big day.

To all the ladies that send their men off to stipcluibs... i guess im happy for u that u don't care... but I am sure there are plenty of girls on the knot that would not be happy with that idea... just like if my FI did go and I told him I was going off to a place like cancun or something.. then I would like to see the tables turn.. thats why I think he changed his mind.

uppereastgirl

First of all, I think it is fair to say that most (and not "few") of the girls who replied agreed with Brad.  Second, while he isn't the most beloved poster here, he is someone who is planning a wedding and both boys and girls are welcome here.  Third, it is kind of ridiculous and childish to ask for people's opinions and then pitch a fit when the advice that they give (in OVER 100 POSTS) is not to your liking.

A few more things:

(a) Not trusting his friends is different from not trusting him.  If you think that his friends are going to get him drunk and make him do something stupid and bad, that means you actually don't trust HIM.  A lot of men have the self-control to be like "That's nice, Friend, that you're going to pay for a blowie from that stripper, but I think I'll pass."   And if only one of his friends is going, does it matter if his other friends are crazy?

(b) There's a ton more to do in Vegas all day than to sit at blackjack tables.  And a lot less to do during the day in AC.  I don't really like gambling but I love going to Vegas (and get bored after about 3 hours in AC).

(c) If you think he's going to blow away inappropriate amounts of money at the blackjack tables, you don't trust him and/or he has a gambling problem.  Why don't you just set a budget with him of what he can gamble?  Budgets (for all sorts of entertainment, food, etc.) make sense for couples who are worried about their finances.

(d) I think you can tell him no strip clubs, if that's important to you.  I'm sure a lot of guys would object to a girl who is jealous/insecure/controlling about it, but there are a lot of girls who do ask their significant others not to.  If you think he'll go regardless, you don't trust him, and if he in fact acts contrary to your request, that's a sign that your jealousy/insecurity/control issues bother him and that there's something wrong in your relationship.

(e) That he'd act psycho if you wanted to go to Cancun is also a bad sign about your relationship.  Two wrongs don't make a right, two crazies don't make a sane.

(f) That's too bad that he's stressed about work and such.  Wouldn't it be nice if he didn't have to be stressed about flipping out fiancee too?

mscutieri

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:37d19136-17fb-4013-b08d-83e68aa735f0">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]I alson would like to say that I am not chaperoning this trip by all means.  All I ment is that we would make it fun with everyone.  Take the flight together and then do our seperate things at night.. maybe do dinner together one night or hangout by the pool during the day.  Some people actually do combined parties.  Whats the big deal with that??Posted by crazy4u201[/QUOTE]

If you look back at our original post, this is not what you said.  You did not say you'd both have your parties there at the same time -- you said that "YOU" (aka, a singular person) would go and stay in a different hotel.  This is why MANY of the girls were telling you to back off and that it was very chaperone-like of you.

And cut the attitude.

brad1431

you still make zero sense, if you trust him, which you OBVIOUSLY dont, it wouldnt matter if you trust his friends.  If your FI isnt going to bang a stripper it doesnt matter what his friends do.

Then you say he doesnt have a gambling problem, that you dont trust him to not spend a lot of money.

So once again in conclusion you dont trust him cause his friends are untrust worthy and you dont trust him with money.  Yeah this marriage sounds like a winner....

Lolyalyssa

Met in High School (age 17) and getting married right after college (age 24).

This problem may have to do with maturity and the fact that excessive partying is a not so distant memory. 

Something tells me one or both of you have cheated on the other before and that is why there are these trust issues?

kewltif

I went to Cancun on spring break with a group of coed friends and DH actually drive us to the airport and picked us up! LOL.  20 years old with complete trust.  I couldn't imagine him having a problem with me going somewhere now.

You made no mention of a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. You said you wanted to go stay in another hotel.

If you don't have the money for him to gamble in Vegas, then you probably can't afford for you to fly out there too and party for a weekend.

crazy4u201

Met in High School (age 17) and getting married right after college (age 24).

This problem may have to do with maturity and the fact that excessive partying is a not so distant memory. 

Something tells me one or both of you have cheated on the other before and that is why there are these trust issues?

_________________________________________________________________

I was 17 when we started dating but he was 22... we are 5 years apart and NEVER EVER cheated on one another.  I also never was a party animal like you are suggesting and we always go out together in a big group. 

I guess I should have explained what I ment better... and I do agree that if I actually ment me - meaning ONLY ME (going to Vegas with him) that that would be absolutly CRAZY lol I would never do that!! I ment both bachlor and bachlorette party in the same city...the whole bridal party.. but split up at night.. thats all I ment.
 
Everyone is quick to say that our marraige isn't going to work and that we have trust issues.. its not that at all.. think about something that would really bother you... now imagine  if your FI went and did it..  in a relationship you are supposed to talk about these things and come together to figure out a solution or compromise.. thats what it is all about. 

I would simply be jelous of the idea of him in Vegas and worried about what was happening- just like he would if I went to a place like Cancun. 

Like I said before.. it is not a trust issue.. its just being comfortable with the idea.. and a little thing called jelousy

The money thing has nothing to do with a gambling prob- jeez people lighten up.. I dont care who you are but going to a casino can get a little crazy if you are in the moment.

caketime

You are not old enough to get married if you do not know how to spell or use the spell check.  Do you write like this during work?  I am actually speechless how horrid this is.

As for your post and what we think it relates to you are just trying to justify what you said now that everyone has said you are wrong.  Stop trying to come on here "trying" to get people to understand.  Admit you were wrong, you were being silly and overreaching and move on.

brad1431

you keep digging yourself deeper, if he is there and you are worried what is going on, you dont trust him.....

Just admit that you dont trust him around other women or with money and are a little crazy psycho control chick and move on

njbrowneyedgrl74

Thank you Caketime.  

I can't believe the simple spelling mistakes you're making.  I am not snarky and you can ask anyone here, but the word is meant. 

As for your dilemma about him acting weird, it is because you have basically told him that you don't trust him.  You can say you do, but your actions show differently and actions speak louder than words, especially to men.  Also if he has a problem with you going somewhere, he doesn't trust you.  It's plain and simple.  Also, next time you should think of the possible ramifications on your relationship before you speak.

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:0187baa7-d20a-4e70-9fdf-92a02864b351">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]The difference between Vegas and AC = legalized prostitution I agree with all prior posts, you must not trust him.
Posted by AnnPH424[/QUOTE]

I was going to say what's so crazy about Vegas vs. Atlantic City? Other than it not being in NJ? And the above (prostitution)..but unless you think him or his friends are going to get prostitutes then what is the big deal?
Personally, I would just be jealous that my FI was going to Vegas and I wasn't...but.. on the other hand, he shouldn't have ANY problem with you going to and having your Bachelorette Party there. .if he does have a problem with that, then there is some other issue underlying here..

peaches85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:ef23c858-4902-4135-abc5-179f2efa8a98">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : I was going to say what's so crazy about Vegas vs. Atlantic City? Other than it not being in NJ? And the above (prostitution)..but unless you think him or his friends are going to get prostitutes then what is the big deal? Personally, I would just be jealous that my FI was going to Vegas and I wasn't...but.. on the other hand, he shouldn't have ANY problem with you going to and having your Bachelorette Party there. .if he does have a problem with that, then there is some other issue underlying here..
Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]
Way to be a good nine months late to the party.

peaches85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:c9031411-d407-42b1-8a1e-a93420731a79">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : LOL I just saw this after my previous response. and I completely agree. You are not old enough to get married if you can't spell common words.
Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]
I guess my previous post was lost on you?

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:dc118a6c-88a6-4949-81cb-b7a8abd43fac">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : I guess my previous post was lost on you?
Posted by peaches85[/QUOTE]

what are you talking about? who cares if I'm responding to an old post I just read. Sorry I don't read every thread on here 24/7 like some people that don't have lives.

peaches85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:55a5d1f8-276e-4b90-b50a-023e69e2d2f5">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : what are you talking about? who cares if I'm responding to an old post I just read. Sorry I don't read every thread on here 24/7 like some people that don't have lives.
Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]
Sounds like someone's got her panties in a bunch.

This thread is from JANUARY... the fact that you even found it, read through 4 pages of posts, and decided to respond is indication enough that you're the one without a life. 

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:9c213e7c-8ea6-459c-8be1-a2d7ea842d6e">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : Sounds like someone's got her panties in a bunch. This thread is from JANUARY... the fact that you even found it, read through 4 pages of posts, and decided to respond is indication enough that you're the one without a life. 
Posted by peaches85[/QUOTE]

ok, are you retarded or something? Ever hear of searching the boards for something? Yeah, I really sat there looking through all the threads from this entire YEAR and decided to comment on this one.
I did a search for something else, this thread came up and I opened it. I didn't notice when it was started (nor did I care when it was started). and I also didn't read through 4 pages of posts - which you can tell from my last comment, I hadn't even seen some of the stuff people wrote. I commented and that's it.

what is even more retarded is the fact that you noticed I commented on an old post, and then felt the need to comment about that and make fun of me for it three times,  for no apparent reason... seriously..

peaches85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:84951045-8951-4684-9ef6-be39c0fd1d72">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : ok, are you retarded or something? Ever hear of searching the boards for something? Yeah, I really sat there looking through all the threads from this entire YEAR and decided to comment on this one. I did a search for something else, this thread came up and I opened it. I didn't notice when it was started (nor did I care when it was started). and I also didn't read through 4 pages of posts - which you can tell from my last comment, I hadn't even seen some of the stuff people wrote. I commented and that's it. what is even more retarded is the fact that you noticed I commented on an old post, and then felt the need to comment about that and make fun of me for it three times,  for no apparent reason... seriously..
Posted by cindy91788[/QUOTE]
I'm not even going to grace this with a complete response directed at your level of immaturity, your lack of capitalization, or the absurdity of your post; however, I will tell you that anytime a new comment is made on a thread it pops up at the top of my screen on TK.  So, of course I noticed it and proceeded to open it as I was interested in what someone felt the need to post on a thread that began in January and that has been dead ever since... until you posted, that is.

cindy91788

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachlor-bachlorette-parites-acvegas-delihma-sry-its-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:f5df3761-1ec6-4320-836b-868740051127Post:493118ac-4a7d-4cb0-b10f-e4d58b44d6c5">Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachlor Bachlorette Parites........ AC..Vegas delihma sry its long.. : I'm not even going to grace this with a complete response directed at your level of immaturity, your lack of capitalization, or the absurdity of your post; however, I will tell you that anytime a new comment is made on a thread it pops up at the top of my screen on TK.  So, of course I noticed it and proceeded to open it as I was interested in what someone felt the need to post on a thread that began in January and that has been dead ever since... until you posted, that is.
Posted by peaches85[/QUOTE]
Wow. You have me speechless. There are many things I'd like to say, but I will not, and be the bigger person here. I just find it extremely sad that you actually care enough about anything on TK to comment like this about nonsense. I have much bigger things to fill my day with than anything here. So good for you.