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I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(

There's been a little bit of BM drama, well basically with just two of them, and them in particular have been b*tching about money for Vegas etc. for the last year, which is weird to me as both of them and the one's husband make a lot of money, but whatever. So since my friend's are so difficult apparently, me and the other two bm's always have to tread lightly and just like plan the minimum. Too much to go into really, and I'm over talking about it, but basically it just makes it not fun, and me not really wanting to go now!


It's also a weekend event, which makes it even worse! My sister is another story, we are so different it's ridiculous, and she's just crabby a lot and I'm worried she's not going to have fun at all, so the plan is to load her with liquor:) (there's 5 bm's total including my sister). Myself and the two that aren't being difficult are pretty worried once we're buzzed up that we'll say something we shouldn't which would probably turn bad, so fingers crossed that won't happen!


That's all, vent over.

Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(

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    empeguesempegues member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was on another one of my favorite boards and one of the ladies there said the smartest thing:  Weddings make people act strange.  Period.

    Basically, expect some people to be jealous, some to be broke, and some just to not care about your wedding.  One (or three) monkeys don't stop the show!  Have fun and let the miserable people be miserable.  Don't let them ruin the only b-party you'll ever have :)
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    edited December 2011

    That sucks. I think my sister resents me a little bit for the money I'm "making" her spend (flight and hotel). I feel guilty sometimes, but I try not to let it bother me.

    Is your bach party at home or in Vegas? Can you cover any extra expenses for anyone?

    I'm planning a girls-night-out party in Vegas to replace a bachelorette party (my BMs are all over the country and won't be in the same place until then) that is at my own expense. Maybe my girls will buy a couple of drinks, but I want to try to cover everything.

    None of my bridesmaids are rolling in the dough, so I've tried to make everything as cheap as possible for them.

    Just try to have fun, and not say anything you'd regret in the morning!

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    Sara191431Sara191431 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_am-not-excited-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:1b3a7c75-5cc6-4d29-92e5-d912b0786dfcPost:c956e919-2968-4092-acbb-14b4ef523350">Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]That sucks. I think my sister resents me a little bit for the money I'm "making" her spend (flight and hotel). I feel guilty sometimes, but I try not to let it bother me. Is your bach party at home or in Vegas? Can you cover any extra expenses for anyone? I'm planning a girls-night-out party in Vegas to replace a bachelorette party (my BMs are all over the country and won't be in the same place until then) that is at my own expense. Maybe my girls will buy a couple of drinks, but I want to try to cover everything. None of my bridesmaids are rolling in the dough, so I've tried to make everything as cheap as possible for them. Just try to have fun, and not say anything you'd regret in the morning!
    Posted by Natrasha[/QUOTE]

    <p>Yeah that's the thing, I'm tired of feeling guilty about money for some, and just over it. Again, all of my BMs are totally fine with money, it hasn't been that big of a thing but just the few comments are enough. Then the one BM backed out of the shower because she forgot about her nephew's bday party, even though she already commited to it. If that was me, I would have gone to both, but that's just me. It was "too much running around for her" I mean I've gone to all their showers-hosted some, the ones that have had babies in the past few years, go up to the hospital bring a gift, go to their shower, go to the kid's bday parties with a gift etc. Like I've done all that all the time, because that's what you do for your good friends or family, I mean sometimes do I not want to go to these things, sure, but do I, yes. It kinda reminds me of that Sex & the City episode, when Carrie throws a shower for herself:)</p>
    <p>Regarding helping out - Yes I've done everything I can to make it less of a burden on people. Regarding the bach party specifically, we are going up to my MOH's parent's cabin on a lake next weekend, so that is free. On Fri. we are just staying in, stopping at the bar for some bar food, going to watch Bridesmaids etc. Sat. as far as food goes, my MOH (non-difficult one) is providing breakfast, everyone is bringing something each for just sandwhiches and whatnot during the day while we are hanging on the beach/lake, for example one is bringing cheese, one veggies, one chips, I'm also bringing something even though the hosts told me not to. My one BM (non difficult one), is making white sangria for during the day Sat. That BM is also providing dinner that night-Lasagna. She also bought frozen breakfast sandwhiches for Sun. (easy to grab on our way out). Sat. night we are going to the bars, now am I going to pay for everyone's drinks there-umm no. So that really is their only cost and whatever small food item they are bringing to share. I also originally had the idea of doing a sequin theme, wear something with sequins on it. But we figured since everyone was so difficult that would just be a hassle for them, so instead everyone is just to wear something black, white or grey-figured that way they shouldn't have to buy anything unless they want to. Then I'm wearing fuschia which I did have to buy. We were going to have everyone wear fuschia/hot pink accessories, but I ended up sending an email saying I would just go buy stuff for everyone and will just return what is not worn. Now do I want to go buy that stuff, hell no, but to lighten the burden of having them go buy a $5 accessory at Claire's or wherever, I'll just buy them.</p>
    <p>I just feel like it's going to be awkward at first with a couple of them, which is not something I look forward to. Like this is supossed to be fun, Vegas is supossed to be fun, not a burden. Funny how none of FI's friends are being dumb about stuff, including girls. Everyone has money problems, what's the point of voiceing that, especially when it would make someone feel guilty, makes no sense to me.</p><p>
    @empegues - You are totally right on!  I just need to make the best of it, and try to have fun!</p>
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    edited December 2011
    That's a bummer! My sister and my niece blew off my bachelorette party that was in Vegas and after our welcome dinner. They didn't have a good excuse (IMO) because  a) they didn't have to pay anything and b) they were already in town. People are just lame.

    Try to have fun with the other girls and relax a bit and get your mind off planning!
    Anniversary
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    edited December 2011

    Well you really do seem to be making an effort to make it as fun and affordable as possible. It sucks that they're being lame about it. They should have thought about the cost when you asked them to be BMs. They accepted the responsibility, and I don't think they should be complaining to you.

    Try not to make everything tit-for-tat. Good for you for being a good friend and going to showers and birthday parties, even when you might not have wanted to. It would be nice if they did the same, but it's not required, and it's probably best if you don't take it personally. At this point, I'd say OH WELL, and move on.

    Just go in with a really positive attitude. You're not in the wrong. You're not asking too much. Have fun and enjoy yourself.

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    Sara191431Sara191431 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_am-not-excited-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:1b3a7c75-5cc6-4d29-92e5-d912b0786dfcPost:e225e3a2-9f0f-4f0b-b267-d642f206a9f5">Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]That's a bummer! My sister and my niece blew off my bachelorette party that was in Vegas and after our welcome dinner. They didn't have a good excuse (IMO) because  a) they didn't have to pay anything and b) they were already in town. People are just lame. Try to have fun with the other girls and relax a bit and get your mind off planning!
    Posted by ebonyivory10[/QUOTE]

    <p>Yeah you do just come to find out certain things about people when having a wedding. Sad, but also, good to know.</p><p>
    Oh and I also want to add the one BM that is being the most difficult hasn't booked her trip yet, fine whatever, but she may be flying in on the morning of the wedding-like really thanks for adding that extra stress of your plane possibly being delayed etc.</p>
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    Sara191431Sara191431 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_am-not-excited-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:1b3a7c75-5cc6-4d29-92e5-d912b0786dfcPost:d756dd98-99bc-47c9-b49c-eed95ae40496">Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well you really do seem to be making an effort to make it as fun and affordable as possible. It sucks that they're being lame about it. They should have thought about the cost when you asked them to be BMs. They accepted the responsibility, and I don't think they should be complaining to you. Try not to make everything tit-for-tat. Good for you for being a good friend and going to showers and birthday parties, even when you might not have wanted to. It would be nice if they did the same, but it's not required, and it's probably best if you don't take it personally. At this point, I'd say OH WELL, and move on. Just go in with a really positive attitude. You're not in the wrong. You're not asking too much. Have fun and enjoy yourself.
    Posted by Natrasha[/QUOTE]

    Yeah I know, and it's not like I'd ever say that stuff to them, and for the most party I WANT to do all those things for them.  I guess I was just making a point.  Totally agree though on accepting being in the wedding, if you weren't going to have fun/bitch about things, you never should have accepted.

    What do you do, it is what it is now, hopefully everything goes smoothly!
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    edited December 2011
    I feel for you!!! I wanted to have that vent a few times about one bridesmaid. It worked out fine in the end. She did leave the bacherlorette party early, but honestly I had soo much fun with the girls that were there she was not really missed.

    I also had another friend throw a fit when she was not a bridesmaid. And then she was "sick" the day of the bridal shower. I know its not tit for tat but I was in her wedding, spent a fortune on everything for her and then got her a really nice gift and all we got was a generic picture frame that was probably bought on the way to the wedding. It wasn't about the money for me, it was the lack of thought and effort put into it.

    The rest of my bridesmaids were totally awesome though. One even bought p*nis straws and stuff like that and brought them on the plane with her (carry on just for fun!) Just breathe and every time you want to say something bad take a drink. You could turn it into your own drinking game!
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    edited December 2011
    i hear ya sista!!!

    I had some bachelortte party issues myself. My MOH (& cousin) said she was going tp plan something but ended up not booking anything or really planning it out. One of my other BMs stepped up and planned the party and went through with my MOHs original plan (drag show downtown) and my MOH got mad that the BM "stole" her idea....which the only thing she did was plan and book what my MOH didnt.

    We also paid for our bridal party to come to Vegas (flights and hotels), and hair with Francesca the day of....so all the were responsible for was their dress, shoes, and spending money. My MOH complained basically the whole time leading up about this "expensive trip" and how she didnt have any money. She ended up bringing $200 with her and spent $70 of it at the M&M shop for her and her daughter and then whined how she didnt have any money left.

    Like PP said, weddings really bring out the worst in people.
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    edited December 2011
    People suck sometimes, don't they . It makes you want to scream "GET OVER YOURSELF"... anyway, I'm sorry. Don't let the drama queens get to you, if you do end up drinking too much and saying something you might regret, just blame it on the booze. Besides, it's your bachelorette party; you're allowed to get out of line, right?

    Your bachelorette party sounds like so much fun! I hope my BMs think of something cool and unique like that for me.

    .
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_am-not-excited-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:1b3a7c75-5cc6-4d29-92e5-d912b0786dfcPost:732a150b-98b7-4215-b1b4-ad2e6926dbc7">Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was on another one of my favorite boards and one of the ladies there said the smartest thing:  Weddings make people act strange.  Period.
    Posted by empegues[/QUOTE]

    This is the truth!  They can be real eye opening experiences, which in the long run can often be a good thing.

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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    Sara191431Sara191431 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_am-not-excited-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:91Discussion:1b3a7c75-5cc6-4d29-92e5-d912b0786dfcPost:144ce46a-2e2e-4e4d-9ced-54824dc152ed">Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:(</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I am not excited for my bachelorette party at all:( : This is the truth!  They can be real eye opening experiences, which in the long run can often be a good thing.
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

    Completely agree.

    Thanks for all the responses, I'll let you guys know after next weekend how it went.  Hopefully I'll come out of it with the same amount of bridesmaids as going in;)
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