WTF

krismarie621

Our stag/stagette is 2 days before our wedding. We're getting married on a Tuesday, and most people are arriving on the Sunday, so we're doing our bachelor/bachelorette (stag/stagette for us Canadians, haha) on Sunday night.

On Monday, we're switching hotels to Mandalay Bay (where our reception is), and we have to get all the guys to pick up their tuxes. We also are getting all our alcohol for the in suite reception (don't want to get it sooner and have to lug it up to Planet Hollywood and then again in to Mandalay Bay).

The best man had told me to "write off" my fiance for Monday and not to expect him to do anything because they'd be "partying in to the morning" - (he's the one who also suggested that the GMs just wear dress pants and shirts, if anyone remembers my post from last week).

There is no way I'm doing all the preperations on Monday by myself.

So I emailed him and explained that I (and my fiance) want everyone in tuxes, and I also don't want to (and shouldn't have to) do everything on my own on Monday. I said I don't at all want to sound like a nagging fiance, but I'd appreciate it if he plans the stag so it ends by 4 or 5am (clubs close at 4 so that gives them time to grab something to eat and stumble back).

I mentioned it to my fiance and he agrees that I'm being reasonable and he says he probably won't even want to stay up that late.

Only now the best man is giving me the cold shoulder. Like seriously?? Was I out of line to request that?????

smokeybailey

Why are you dealing directly with the BM?  FI should be doing that.  Otherwise it looks like you are just being a harpy.

Let the communication come from your FI.

Natrasha

Ummmmm seriously?! I would think 5 am is more than generous and more than enough time to get into all kinds of trouble. He's going to have to be up anyway to check out of the hotel by 11 or whatever. There's NO WAY you should have to do everything.

The wedding is THE important event. Not the stag/bach party.

IMHO, the BM is a jerkface for giving you the cold shoulder. At least your FI thinks you're being reasonable. Make him have a touchy feeling moment with the BM and explain that he needs to be coherent to help finalize the plans for his own damn wedding.

krismarie621

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_wtf-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:1ccef19e-6e27-4990-a65c-e6f33f77a691Post:8678cdf0-c611-4fd3-bf08-d724b93015de">Re: WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]Why are you dealing directly with the BM?  FI should be doing that.  Otherwise it looks like you are just being a harpy. Let the communication come from your FI.
Posted by smokeybailey[/QUOTE]


Because the BM has been talking to ME about the bachelor party.
He's the one that opened discussion about it.

krismarie621

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_wtf-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:1ccef19e-6e27-4990-a65c-e6f33f77a691Post:d31f840f-bd00-410a-94fc-312e9a6d81ed">Re: WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]Ummmmm seriously?! I would think 5 am is more than generous and more than enough time to get into all kinds of trouble. He's going to have to be up anyway to check out of the hotel by 11 or whatever. There's NO WAY you should have to do everything. The wedding is THE important event. Not the stag/bach party. IMHO, the BM is a jerkface for giving you the cold shoulder. At least your FI thinks you're being reasonable. Make him have a touchy feeling moment with the BM and explain that he needs to be coherent to help finalize the plans for his own damn wedding.
Posted by Natrasha[/QUOTE]

Thank you!

aerinpegadrak

No one is going to be tying up your FI for the entire night or holding him against his will, and he's the one you need.  If the other guys want to party until 10am, let him.  Your FI can certainly slip out whenever he feels it's appropriate, and the party can go on without him.  As I said in your other post, not all of the guys need to go along to pick up the tuxes.  And as long as your FI is careful with his drinking (there are several places out there that offer tips on how to avoid a hangover, but it basically boils down to "eat, drink water, and pace yourself"), he shouldn't be too badly out of commission the next day.

But ditto smokey, you shouldn't be talking to the BM about this at all.  You can and should talk to your FI about your concerns, but he must must MUST hash this out with the BM himself.

krismarie621

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_nevada-las-vegas_wtf-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:91Discussion:1ccef19e-6e27-4990-a65c-e6f33f77a691Post:c89cc8ed-1c7b-4e48-b5e6-0c30ddf64523">Re: WTF</a>:
[QUOTE]No one is going to be tying up your FI for the entire night or holding him against his will, and he's the one you need.  If the other guys want to party until 10am, let him.  Your FI can certainly slip out whenever he feels it's appropriate, and the party can go on without him.  As I said in your other post, not all of the guys need to go along to pick up the tuxes.  And as long as your FI is careful with his drinking (there are several places out there that offer tips on how to avoid a hangover, but it basically boils down to "eat, drink water, and pace yourself"), he shouldn't be too badly out of commission the next day. But ditto smokey, you shouldn't be talking to the BM about this at all.  You can and should talk to your FI about your concerns, but he must must MUST hash this out with the BM himself.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

The reason I talked to the BM about it is because HE intitiated contact with ME about the stag. He was the one that discussed it with me and ran it all by me, not that I asked him to or felt the need to know what was going on.

I realize that no one will hold my fiance there by his will but the BM sounded like he was going to be planning something over night and in to the morning so I figured I may as well mention it to him so he understands. My fiance is out of town pretty much up until the wedding working 12+ hour a day, 7 days a week, so he really doesn't have much time to be talking to people about this.

Thanks for the response :)

krismarie621

Also, I'm dealing with Tuxedo Junction and they told me to have all the guys there so they could try on the tuxes and do last minute tailoring if need be.

MeatAuditor

So BM asked for your input, you gave it, and now he's mad about it?  Why did he even ask? 

smokeybailey

I would forward all correspondance to my FI and say, your BM, your problem.  He's not listening to you and your FI is not standing up to him so he is acting, as a PP put it, like a jerkface. 

Have BM handle.  It is so not your problem.  Besides, I assume that your FI can make his own decisions and come in when he deems it appropriate.