Michigan-Grand Rapids

Maybe its just me and my friends.....

Hi all, Kinda have a wierd question  here, but here goes. I went to the wedding of my very first friend ever yesterday. The history is that we have all been friends since elementary school. We were all only children or the only girls in our familes, so over the years, we became each others sisters/family. When our friend originally became engaged, she announced that only her cousins would stand up with her because of who she was marrying (her now husband is Indian/Hindu) they only have "blood family" stand up with you. We were all able to get over it, until yesterday we we go to the reception to discover our table was basically in the corner, pillars in front of us where we couldnt see them at all, or see anything going on. Then get this, when they walked around to greet everyone, they breezed by our table twice (the last time by she waved) and was too busy posing for pictures with her new "extended" family. All of us felt like it was a huge slap in our faces. There is more to it then that, but I know I got so upset, I decided to leave around 9, along with the others who actually waited that long, some had already left, pack my stuff and leave for home immediately (this was in Detroit). I know it was her day, but it almost seemed to me she only invited us because she felt obligated to do so. She had all of their Michigan State friends right there where they could see everything (who have only know them a handful or years), but us who have known her 25-27 years shoved into a corner like bad little children. Is it just me, or does that sound wrong?? Oh, and to clarify, there were 4 of us there. I could see it if there were a bunch of us, but 4, plus a set of parents whose house she spent a ton of time at. Most of us drove from over here, but one of us flew in from RI, and never got a chance to say hello. Opinions please!

Re: Maybe its just me and my friends.....

  • Deeder522Deeder522 member
    edited December 2011
    Wow. I have to say it's a we bit rude. It sounds like it was a large wedding, so maybe she just caught up n the whole wedding buzz. However being put in the corner was, well I'm not sure. It seems like she has moved on from her oldest friends to new ones. It must hurt, and for your 1 friend to come in from RI that's a HUGE snub. I guess my opinion is she was rude. Don't invite more people than you think/know you will be able to talk to. I'm only inviting 85 people, and thats after starting with 140. Im sorry you and your friends had to go through that.
  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Long time friendships are different.  They all change and grow as time passes.  Can you say that you are as close to this person now as you were before you all went separate ways?  Do you talk to her daily, weekly, monthly? Or is it less than that? I understand that you are hurt, but we all have to accept that things change over time.  Or, maybe you are all as close as ever, but she snubbed you.  In which case, feel free to be angry with her. 
  • edited December 2011
    Even though we have all gone our seperate ways, three of us are still as close as we used to be. She was the Maid of Honor at of the girls wedding, she was getting wedding advice from all of us, we spent the weekend together 2 weeks ago to celebrate her impending marriage. The one she was the moh to, so talks to on a weekly basis, if not daily. When she first became engaged she called her at least every day, if not multiple times a day, freaking out and not sure what to do. It just makes no sense!
  • edited December 2011
    I understand that you are hurt.  It must have been hard to feel "ditched" by your friend on such an important day for her.  Is it possible that her husband does not like you girls?  It seems like this all started when she got engaged, so its possible her husband could have something to do with her new feelings towards you.
  • edited December 2011
    Her husband can not really have an opinion since he only met us once before they were married - about 30 minutes as they were driving from Chicago to Detroit. It could be, just like he was saying the "christian ceremony" wasnt necessary but she insisted on.  
  • shrades77shrades77 member
    edited December 2011
    I would be upset too - some people just aren't that thoughtful.  That is really crappy, but maybe she will call and explain herself soon?!  That may be the only way she can redeem herself...  anyway, I am sorry you had a bad time.  :(
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  • Pwitty2005Pwitty2005 member
    edited December 2011
    From the sounds of it, he has a large, very traditional family, so maybe youre friend recognized the importance of getting/staying on their good side. Although it is expected that the bride and groom make it to speak with every table, maybe your friend assumed that her very close friends would understand the obligation she had to her "new family" on her wedding day and assumed you four would enjoy eachother's company without needing specific attention on that day. Getting married puts a lot of stress on a bride, but negotiating family connections and bringing two cultures together really increases the pressure/stress for your friend. I would assume she did not mean to offend and encourage you to give her a chance to explain - however, if this kind of behavior becomes a pattern, then you may need to move on and enjoy the friends you can rely on.
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