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Bitch about your (F)SIL here
My brother married the queen biitch. She always claims that she's trying to change, bc she sees what damage she does (she lost her oldest friend over her own stupid wedding drama last year) but she doesn't ever change. me & her had a falling out a few years ago because she thinks shes a better mom than me (except at the time she wasn't even one, and as of today she's been one for 2 weeks.) When you don't have kids, and you're not a single mom, please don't try to tell me what I'm doing wrong. you have NO idea what I've been thru, or how i got here, don't preach to me. so after that, and me ignoring her for a few weeks, she writes this long email apology, we went out for drinks, talked and made up.
fast forward to now, my friend had a friend whose office was looking for someone, so i recommended SIL knowing she hated commuting to the city everyday for work to try to help her out. she interviews and gets the job. and then proceeded to complain about how much she hated it and how my friend's friend is such a beast and she can't stand her, she's just so nasty, etc. well, it was my friend's bday last weekend and she told me that her friend has soooo many things to tell me about how SIL was always talking shiit about me. did she think i wouldn't find out? and how does that come up in conversation exactly. "Hey, by the way, I don't like you, but I need to pass time at this sucky job, can we bitch about the one who got me this job? I just KNOW you would keep it to yourself right?" I mean come on.
So she told her I was a sucky mom (um, not really) and she was always bitching about the BM dresses. She was mad because I had to order her a size 14. First of all, get over yourself. It's just a number on a tag. BM dresses run small and formal dresses ALWAYS need alterations. She was pregnant when we ordered the dresses end of August bc they were getting discontinued. SHE HAS HUGE BOOBS! Now she's breastfeeding and they are getting bigger. I had to order according to her biggest measurement - HER BOOBS! My cousin who is normally a size 2-4 got an 8, & my other BMs got 14s and the one who wears a 10 got a 16! NO ONE CARED BUT HER!! Then she's worried about how much it's going to cost to alter the dress. My seamstress is reasonable, so I told her anything over $35 I will pay the difference just to shut her up.
You would think since she just planned her own wedding recently, that she would be more understanding and there for me. Her sister was away at college so I was basically the stand in MOH, helping her make decisions, and going places with her, etc. So I get engaged and a few months later she's pg. So it's all about her, again. Now the baby is here, so it's that. Its always something with her. I know I can't but I would love to just kick her out of the WP! I don't want anyone standing up there that doesn't love me. My 3 best friends that I love like sisters and my favorite cousin are my other BMs, and I KNOW they love me and would do anything for me. All I know she'd do is bitch about me to anyone who will listen. But..... that's my brother's wife, so I have to play nice. PLUS the 2 of them walking down the aisle with the baby in his tiny tux = priceless! Guess I have no choice but to suck it up.
Wow, that turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. Now you go.
fast forward to now, my friend had a friend whose office was looking for someone, so i recommended SIL knowing she hated commuting to the city everyday for work to try to help her out. she interviews and gets the job. and then proceeded to complain about how much she hated it and how my friend's friend is such a beast and she can't stand her, she's just so nasty, etc. well, it was my friend's bday last weekend and she told me that her friend has soooo many things to tell me about how SIL was always talking shiit about me. did she think i wouldn't find out? and how does that come up in conversation exactly. "Hey, by the way, I don't like you, but I need to pass time at this sucky job, can we bitch about the one who got me this job? I just KNOW you would keep it to yourself right?" I mean come on.
So she told her I was a sucky mom (um, not really) and she was always bitching about the BM dresses. She was mad because I had to order her a size 14. First of all, get over yourself. It's just a number on a tag. BM dresses run small and formal dresses ALWAYS need alterations. She was pregnant when we ordered the dresses end of August bc they were getting discontinued. SHE HAS HUGE BOOBS! Now she's breastfeeding and they are getting bigger. I had to order according to her biggest measurement - HER BOOBS! My cousin who is normally a size 2-4 got an 8, & my other BMs got 14s and the one who wears a 10 got a 16! NO ONE CARED BUT HER!! Then she's worried about how much it's going to cost to alter the dress. My seamstress is reasonable, so I told her anything over $35 I will pay the difference just to shut her up.
You would think since she just planned her own wedding recently, that she would be more understanding and there for me. Her sister was away at college so I was basically the stand in MOH, helping her make decisions, and going places with her, etc. So I get engaged and a few months later she's pg. So it's all about her, again. Now the baby is here, so it's that. Its always something with her. I know I can't but I would love to just kick her out of the WP! I don't want anyone standing up there that doesn't love me. My 3 best friends that I love like sisters and my favorite cousin are my other BMs, and I KNOW they love me and would do anything for me. All I know she'd do is bitch about me to anyone who will listen. But..... that's my brother's wife, so I have to play nice. PLUS the 2 of them walking down the aisle with the baby in his tiny tux = priceless! Guess I have no choice but to suck it up.
Wow, that turned out to be a lot longer than I expected. Now you go.
April 2012 March Siggy Challenge - Honeymoon!! Costa Rica
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129 Are Party Rockin!!
23 Will be missing out!
6 Can't find the mailbox!
158 Invited
129 Are Party Rockin!!
23 Will be missing out!
6 Can't find the mailbox!This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bitch about your (F)SIL here
ANOTHER THING! She said Ill wear what ever dress you love and pick out! Well I fell in love with this one dress and when I showed her she flipped out! “IM NOT WEARING THIS” She said she cant wear a halter dress because she needs to wear a “real” bra. I picked this dress out because the details of the halter matches my halter dress. She doesn’t want to wear it because she said she knows her boobs cant handle a strapless bra after 3 kids. Soo I found a halter bra and she still says no because it still wont give her support! She isnt a size 30 and Wears a Dcup like me! Shes a size 4 and she claims to wear a size DD cup..um HECK No she DOES NOT wear a DDcup shes a C if that!! I do understand having 3 kids can really not help the matters. But I REALLY think since shes known to always get her way that she just doesnt want to wear what I pick out. My FI keeps telling me I need to put my foot down and tell her whats going on in my mind but umm thats a little hard when She is my future sister in law. Im so tired of trying.
She also thinks we can find something else for the bridesmaids to wear online and order them. well Thats completly fine if someone else wants to do that but Im really uncomfortable doing that. Number 1- I cant actually feel or see it in person. Number 2 -Why do we have to buy online we can find them ina store? and Number 3- you cant try them on..so how do you know if they run really small or really big? ugh...
I hope things go better with your FSIL!! I just keep telling myself every time I get upset with her “It’ll work out one way or another”
1. We started working on our guest list a year in advance b/c we had many out of town guests and wanted to get save the dates out earlier than others normally would. I asked SIL around that time if she wanted me to put her in for a plus one even though she wasn't dating anyone. My thought process was that it was easier to take a guest off the list if she didnt have a date than it would be to add someone. She had a B!TCH FIT asking why I would ask her this so far out from the wedding. She basically told me no, she wasn't bringing anyone and she would never bring anyone to an OOT wedding. Guess what? About 2 months before the wedding, she asked if she could bring the guy she was dating.
2. I put together a collection of 7 different dresses from Alfred Angelo and gave BM's the option to choose which one they liked best for themselves. All dresses were in the same color and fabric and I didn't want them looking like stepford wives, so I was happy to have them all choose their own dress from the collection based on their individual styles. This collection was ready for them to choose from in January for our August wedding. She waited until late may to order her dress and then complained that she didn't have all of the money for the dress. The dress was $120. If you had ordered it when the collection became available, you could have made payments on the dress. Or, DH and I would have gladly given her the money for the dress. She ended up going to her mom at the last minute to buy her the dress.
3. Shoes were selected for all the BM's. But guess what? I had to go find a separate shoe for her b/c she doesn't LIKE to have shoes with the heel out.
4. Day of the wedding, she sits in the bedroom on the floor, right next to where my gown was hanging from the closet and proceeded to paint her toenails RED. Right next to my dress. Seriously?
Bottom line, SIL is a big brat. Her mother caters to her and its quite sad. You're 33 years old. Grow up.
My FSIL, well, I am not sure where to start. I guess first she is from Jan to April older than me and you wouldn't even think she is 29 that's for sure. The best way I can say it, she is rough around the edges. She doestn' work (she is trying to get disability) and she lives with FMIL and FFIL and just lays around all day and eats. When she talks every other work out of her mouth is F this and F that, she is loud and obnoxious as well. I know it can't help that FMIL refers to her as a beached whale either.
FSIL honesty thought she was going to come down here for the wedding and call the shots when it came to the decorating and how to set up the venue. I had to make sure she knew that my Mom would be calling the shots on all of that. I know she wants to help but goodness, its not her wedding. She had one already and and that marriage lasted about 6 months at the most.
My only real peeve. FSIL got married the day after my birthday this year. That is also her father's birthday. It is also over the 4th of July weekend and her family always goes away. I know because I was never invited to the family vacations until she started dating someone.
So she disrupted long standing plans, had it the day after my birthday, which is also her father's birthday, AND missed her brother's (my FI) 30th birthday because she had to go on a 10 day honeymoon. Somehow FI doesn't care, but his family is pretty close and usually celebrates birthdays and she totally blows his off.
I have been pretty good and haven't said anything, though I had to stand outside at the rehearsal dinner for like 20 min to compose myself. This year I might have to be a b* and make a scene if they try to celebrate their anniversary on my birthday or otherwise combine events. I've always been sensitive about wanting to celebrate my birthday and this year I turn 30.
This box shipped toys? No this box is toy!
[QUOTE]My FSIL stole checks from my FI on an account we closed because the family stole money out of it. It went to the DA and because he would not press charges against his family we had to pay 1000 in fees to avoid him being charged with fraud. I would pick biatchy over a thief naysay lol.
Posted by sweetredhead[/QUOTE]
Wow... I'm going to have to agree with you on this one. So sorry to hear about that. She sounds like a delight! *rolling eyes*
[QUOTE]I wish my biggest measurement were my boobs! Pbbbtttt on her. Kicking her out of the wedding might cause more drama than it's worth, but there's no rule saying you have to keep associating with her any more than necessary between now and then.
Posted by RaptorSLH[/QUOTE]
Pssshhh Me too! My biggest measurement is my ass! LOL Actually, I had to order the dresses for all my girls' boobs... I was waiting on the big butt line while they were all on the big boob line.
I would never actually kick her out of the wedding, but there are days I'd like to just kick her! What's really more upsetting is that I thought we were past all the drama, she was actually growing up, becoming a mother and more mature in the process. Her & I went to 2 Dave Matthews concerts just us, and then 2 others with friends and family last year, she invited FI & I to go on a cruise with her entire family (who I really like btw) including her mom & dad, nana, sister, brother and cousins and uncles. We had a great time. It really gets to me, because I feel like it was all fake.
This is the first thing my mother & I agree on probably ever. SIL always has something to say about her too, not that I don't, but if my mom tries to say anything, it's automatically an issue. I don't really get along with my mom, but I have to side with her on this one.
I thought I left high school 14 years ago... just grow the F up already. end rant
[QUOTE]My FSIL's are gems :X I consider myself lucky - Between them and their hubbies I have a nurse, a lawyer, a cop, and a salesman ;D
Posted by Kome2012[/QUOTE]
You are, indeed, a very lucky girl :)
She also accused me of faking an injury (a work-related incident) so I wouldn't have to work...yeah, because spraining my rotator cuff was a real picnic. I TOTALLY went through all that blinding back and shoulder pain and Xrays on purpose just so I could sit on my butt and collect disability. That was a real treat. I guess my two orthopedists, three physical therapists and two ER doctors were in on the lie, too?
FI actually stopped speaking to his sister after that incident. They're on better terms now but I still refuse to speak to her.
EDIT: I forgot to mention. FI's sister is THIRTY. This is not a child or a teenager I'm dealing with here.
[QUOTE]My FSIL thinks I'm rude, apparently. I've also only met her in person about 6 times over the course of 3 years (she lives across the country). She also used to use Facebook to tattle on me and FI about what we were doing with our money to their parents, who in turn would call FI and yell at him. She also accused me of faking an injury (a work-related incident) so I wouldn't have to work...yeah, because spraining my rotator cuff was a real picnic. I TOTALLY went through all that blinding back and shoulder pain and Xrays on purpose just so I could sit on my butt and collect disability. That was a real treat. I guess my two orthopedists, three physical therapists and two ER doctors were in on the lie, too? FI actually stopped speaking to his sister after that incident. They're on better terms now but I still refuse to speak to her. EDIT: I forgot to mention. FI's sister is THIRTY. This is not a child or a teenager I'm dealing with here.
Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]
she sounds like a peach! i hope you're feeling better now.
i just don't get why women have to be so catty sometimes. it's beyond frustrating. we're family, get over it
So here goes - my FSIL has from the very beginning not liked me. Nothing I've ever done has been right. Anything I've done she's found a way to twist and use to judge against me. When FI and I were just friends I got his family Christmas gifts because I'd been spending a lot of time over there and they had invited me over for Thanksgiving that year. I felt welcomed into their home and wanted to thank them, and it felt natural to me. She took it as me trying to get closer to the family so I could get into his pants (a la Jerry Maguire.) This is of course after they defaced a birthday present I'd given to FI, because they didn't like that I called him by a different name than his given name.
FFWD to recently. They've been to our house a total of one time. The reason stated, regardless of the numerous times we've invited them over (and there's always been a reason they couldn't - including when we had a get together of all his local cousins) - she took a FB meme I posted about owning pets and people needing to tolerate them to be a rant aimed to her. She's since been removed from my FB.
She has asked me to not call him the name I've been calling him since we started being friends 3 years ago, going so far as to pull the Dead Dad card ("it's the name my Father gave him" - I got to retort that I'm actually not allowed to call him by another nickname because THAT's what his dad called him....she didn't know how to respond to that.)
Long story short it's always about them. Whenever we get together the conversation is about them, about what's going on in their lives and we always travel to them. FMIL is 90% focused on their family and hardly ever focuses on us or realizes we exist. It's so frustrating. She even made a comment at our "engagement dinner" (that was almost entirely focused on the step-daughter's college acceptance) that we should elope - because she doesn't like weddings. Of course, she LOVES babies and now FSIL is pregnant and FMIL is all over the place and being active in the family again and going out to big family events and stuff. I'm happy for her, but I was sort of selfishly wishing that for ONCE the focus in the family would be on FI and I, not on SBIL being in school, or FBIL graduating (no, no one seems to care that I'm in school) or FSIL's work, or FNeice's school, or any of their family's affairs. Because it really is always about them. They're the core of the overall direct family and it's getting tiring dealing with always talking about and dealing with them. FI's extended family has been more welcoming and more excited about our wedding than his immediate family. How sad is that?
Like I said in the other post, FI says I'm collateral damage to his family's issues and they're just not dealing with him being an adult and with new family roles. He's yo-yoed a lot and really isolated himself away from his family (he says it's due to his loyalty to me...which really makes ME feel guilty!)
I could go into more details but that's the long winded gist of it.
SIL on my side just isn't responding to ANY wedding communication and she's a BM so that's frustrating. I'll be talking to her over Xmas to see what's up. It doesn't seem like her at all so I don't know what's going on.
Edit: Holy CRAP that got longer than I meant it to - I'm so sorry!!
[QUOTE]Edit: Holy CRAP that got longer than I meant it to - I'm so sorry!!
Posted by LGM22[/QUOTE]
I'm sure the 2 of us could go on for days!
she is a total "peach". She is horribly rude, acts like she is the busiest person in the world, and bascially is totally ignoring our wedding- even though i offered to do x.y and z for her wedding, gave her $350 check that she cashed the Next day, and have yet to receive a thank you note.
she told me shell try to be in our wedidng, if she can"find the time"
i am so glad fiances family lives across teh country. that is ALL i have to say about htat.
i am kinda of sad but glad there are other people out here that can relate.
167 Invited
[QUOTE]4. <u>Day of the wedding, she sits in the bedroom on the floor, right next to where my gown was hanging from the closet and proceeded to paint her toenails RED. Right next to my dress. Seriously? </u>Bottom line, SIL is a big brat. Her mother caters to her and its quite sad. You're 33 years old. Grow up.
Posted by 2010Bride2be[/QUOTE]
OH HECK NO! I woulda Flipped out!!!
Long story short, she does drugs - weed, smokes like a chimney, and drinks mass amounts of alcohol (even while she was pregnant), whines about everything, complains how hard her life is (she's a stay at home mom who is unable to keep a job past 3 days), complains how she always has no money (but goes out to dinner often, spend it on games and movies, junk food, and drugs) and has the most annoying voice and laugh I have ever heard.
Oh yeah, and where ever she goes when other family are around she thinks they will voluntarily watch her kid so she can smoke, eat, and chat with others. She's a terrible mom to her son.
Edit: I feel I should also add that she's 34.
[QUOTE]i won't even rant about my FSIL she is a total "peach". She is horribly rude, acts like she is the busiest person in the world, and bascially is totally ignoring our wedding- even though i offered to do x.y and z for her wedding, gave her $350 check that she cashed the Next day, and have yet to receive a thank you note. .
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]
You just reminded me that we went to a wedding in August and have yet to receive a thank you note for a check we sent. It was immediately cashed yet...nope...no note. We were hounded REPEATEDLY for our address and they constantly were asking for cash to help for the wedding in various ways but yup, not thank you for the money we gave them as a wedding gift (which was I think perhaps the only one they received.)
.....now I'm annoyed.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bitch about your (F)SIL here : You just reminded me that we went to a wedding in August and have yet to receive a thank you note for a check we sent. It was immediately cashed yet...nope...no note. We were hounded REPEATEDLY for our address and they constantly were asking for cash to help for the wedding in various ways but yup, not thank you for the money we gave them as a wedding gift (which was I think perhaps the only one they received.) .....now I'm annoyed.
Posted by LGM22[/QUOTE]
that';s so funny becuse i think that in fact, we were the only people that gave a monetary gift- other than maybe her parents. (my future in laws).
And i am sure it was the most generous gift they received.
did i mention we had to fly cross country to go to the wedding and when we got there they had a wishing well and it said" donations to our wedding welcome" and when I asked FSIL about it she said "well we couldnt' afford the wedding on our own- so we are hoping peoeple will donate to it"...
if you cant afford the wedding, dont have one.
did i mention it was a pot luck- so everyone had already brought FOOD, DRINKS and Paper plates/etc to eat off of? and she asked everyone to rent renaissance costumes and come in costume- so it cost fianceliek 150.00 to rent the costume.
Who is donating to my wedding? I am offically accepting donations (hahaha jk)
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bitch about your (F)SIL here : that';s so funny becuse i think that in fact, we were the only people that gave a monetary gift- other than maybe her parents. (my future in laws). And i am sure it was the most generous gift they received. did i mention we had to fly cross country to go to the wedding and when we got there they had a wishing well and it said" donations to our wedding welcome" and when I asked FSIL about it she said "well we couldnt' afford the wedding on our own- so we are hoping peoeple will donate to it"... if you cant afford the wedding, dont have one. did i mention it was a pot luck- so everyone had already brought FOOD, DRINKS and Paper plates/etc to eat off of? and she asked everyone to rent renaissance costumes and come in costume- so it cost fianceliek 150.00 to rent the costume. Who is donating to my wedding? I am offically accepting donations (hahaha jk)
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]
SINCE we're swapping stories, I feel the I can share because I haven't been able to. This person was not related to me but their behavior...well this isn't the etiquette board but Really?
At their engagement party, a year out, the bride had jewelry out that she'd either made or whatever that she was selling "to support the wedding."
Her bridal shower invite had all of her sizes listed as well as what lotions she liked and candle scents she preferred and didn't like. At the bottom of the invite it read: "[Bride] will have jewelry available for sale to support the wedding." Sooo...we're to bring a gift and money to buy stuff too. Herm.
When we got the invite it was addressed to Mr. & Mrs. [FI's last name.] (we're getting married in Aug 2012) I found it amusing that the back of our invite had 2 RSVP cards printed on it - whoops? The RSVP envelope lacked a stamp, but I'm guessing they expected an email reply as after I sent our RSVP card I got an IM from the groom asking if we were coming even though he'd IMed me confirming the receipt of our RSVP.
The wedding was out 2 hours away, either by ferry or driving, and was supposed to start at 1. Apparently it was the cheapest location they could find, according to the Groom. I'd be fine with this if it didn't mean that the wedding started nearly an hour late because the DJ took the late ferry and we had to stand around, with the bridal party, waiting for them.
The reception consisted of generic store bought 'party' food that had been sitting out and been munched on all day long by first the bridal party during pre-wedding set up, then everyone during 'let's wait for the DJ so the wedding can happen."
We showed up 10 to 1 and I had to wait to go to the bathroom in the hall's bathroom because the Bride was just getting into her dress in the public restroom. It seemed clear they knew it wasn't going to start on time, given that everyone was just sitting around BSing.
Our card sat as the single card/gift on the gift table, next to the guest book for the entire night. You've just reminded me of the lack of thank you card for the check we sent that was cashed a matter of days after the wedding.
I get low budget weddings, but at the same time - again - if you don't have the money for a wedding, wait until you do. FI and I are paying for most of our wedding so I know it can be a lot of money but asking constantly for money and then not thanking people who do give you money....
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bitch about your (F)SIL here : I'm sure the 2 of us could go on for days!
Posted by faerylvr27[/QUOTE]
I love your ring LIKE WHOA.
LIKE FOR SERIOUS.
Don't tell me where you live cuz i be coming to steal it.
OMG I HAVE A BIO! LOOK AT IT!
[QUOTE]My sisters both had horrible IL moments when they first met FI. One of my sisters is cute and petite and sporty, one is a dominating alpha-wolf type, and I'm a pudgy nerd. I brought my then-boyfriend home for Thanksgiving for the first time... Afterwards, the cute sporty sister told Mom she thought he was abusing me. Her evidence? He didn't pay enough attention to her. The domineering sister told Mom he as mentally defective, because when she tried to interrogate him, he just walked away. Also, she walked in on us snuggling in bed, and told Mom she'd caught us having sex. Fortunately, Mom trusted her own first impressions instead of theirs, and my FI thought, and still thinks, that it's funny he got so thoroughly punctured their egos.
Posted by RaptorSLH[/QUOTE]
Good on your FI!
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bitch about your (F)SIL here : I love your ring LIKE WHOA. LIKE FOR SERIOUS. Don't tell me where you live cuz i be coming to steal it.
Posted by rtzrill[/QUOTE]
why thank you rachel :) you know, you don't need to steal mine cuz yours is just as gorgeous!!!!