So last night i spoke to FSIL. I basically figured she wouldnt be a BM and she said at this time, she is going to have to talk to her husband, but she doesn't think that she is going to be able to swing paying for coming out here and also being in the wedding. Which is fine with me! I wanted her to tell me, so i didn't have to order extra bouquet, order an extra BM gift, etc.
she told me the email i sent (to her and all bms) made it seem like i expected them to be at my shower-which she wouldnt be able to attend. I said, well that's not really the case- because she lives far away- but the rest of my bridesmaids are all throwing me the shower with my mom and aunts. I didn't know HOW to say "well no, you don't have to come obvisusly but right now all my other bridesmaids are in the midst of planning a "surprise" shower for me, and becuse you didint write back to their emails they just figured you didnt want to partipate. because i am technically not "supposed" to know that. They basically asked her for feedback on invitations, cake , etc to "include" her- since she wouldnt be able to attend.
finally, she brought up teh dresses. I don't mean to get all bridesziilla on her. But we all picked out online a few dresses that they all like and I like as well. and she said "oh so we aren't just wearing something we already own- you are doing something really Formal, royal weddingy".
I am not doing something really formal royal weddingy, we basically are going to davids bridal, like i think much of the country does- and are picking out dresses...
I DO feel super awkward to make people buy dresses. I know thats what you do. I've been a BM before and everyone else in my wedding has- and i know thats just the way ti is. But it is kind of an awkward thing anyway. I mean am i the only one that feels that way? I know my friends are willing to pay for the dresses, etc but it still feels slightly uncomfortable to be liek "ok so is this the one you guys like, because I like this one...so go ahead, you buy it?"
i guess I am just not the type to put people out- so it does make me feel super awkward.
but now i tink i am getting to the point that i am being almost TOO considerate. I have sent numerous emails about styles people like, pricing, budgets, places they want to shop etc. And Now I am considering actually throwing anything i want out the window in favor of them picking whatever color or style they want. I don't really want to do that. but i know if I DO do that that then my FSIL can just wear "something she already owns"
i dont mean to be a b*tch- but i feel liek its my wedding, and ive worn an ugly bridesmaids dress for everyone else, and I sould get to pick what I like- based on how i want my photos to look etc that day.
Am I asking too much?
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