slight problem...

Torir911

My parents told us a while ago they would take on the cost of the DJ for us. My FI and I were pumped.

MiniMin20

Ugh, don't you love how weddings bring out all this drama? I guess you can be a little happy knowing the drama is all surrounding the fact that both families love you and your FI and are happy to help with the wedding!I definitely agree that it seems kind of silly to fight over who gets to pay for the DJ, when there are other things that need contributions too. But maybe your parents feel like they should have first say in what they pay for, since it's their daughter's wedding.I say come up with something else that needs buying that's about the same price and offer that to your parents. I would explain to them why you said yes to FFIL -- that you didn't expect the contribution and were happy they were finally getting excited about the wedding too -- and hope your parents can be sympathetic to that. Hopefully as your parents they should realize you are going to try extra hard to impress your FILs.Or, if you think your parents are really upset about the DJ thing, tell FFIL that your parents already put the deposit down on it or something and offer up something of a similar price.I think it's better to address this now than wait until your parents offer, so that resentment or bad feelings don't build up.But that's my (LONG) two cents!

MegnDev

I'd have them split the cost of the DJ if they both wanted to pay for it. Maybe that's all they wanted to pay for, figuring it would be too expensive.

danieleandwayne

*Sigh* I should rent my father out to teach other parents how best to be helpful and supportive in situations like these-- whatever my dad's faults may be, THIS is NOT one of them! :-)I don't know if there is any way for either you, your FI, your siblings, whoever to suggest this, but what about the possibility of your parents (and/or FI's parents) to simply give you both a gift of $400 each-- which you can put towards any part of your wedding? Knowing my mother and I would fight about wedding planning, I chose to pay for the event ourselves. My father, ever the brilliant tactician, however, gave us a very generous sum of money that we could use for whatever we wanted-- the wedding, a down-payment on a house later, etc. Our choice, but he gave it to us early enough in the process that I could use a good chunk of it for the wedding-- WITHOUT having to worry about my mother feeling she had a right to insist or demand anything because she was "paying for it" (which she did a bit with my sister's wedding)...Just a thought, although it may not be practical...

jgreg29

I'd talk to your parents about it some more.  It's best not to let something like this fester, especially when you have awhile to go!  They may be more understanding when you explain the significance of FFIL offering.  If they're still upset, then the others have posted good alternatives--have them split the cost, see if they'll give you $400 as a gift, find another item they would like to pay for.  Sorry your family is causing you stress!