I envy

DirtyWater

Girls with smaller bridal parties.  I wasn't going to have a bridal party in the beginning and FI was COMPLETELY against it.

It was going to be 9 and 6, but then I felt bad because others were asking about it and it was going to get out of control.  I couldn't split up my best friends so we agreed to only childhood best friends to make it 6 and 6.  Thank god we waited to ask people.

I've been trying to get the girls to pick dates to go dress shopping and its like pulling teeth.  I just put my foot down and gave two dates and they need to pick one.  If not they need to give me a date and I'll go separately with them.

My sister and mother are having a hard time getting them all to answer their random emails also.

abcollins08

I'm having 5 BMs (which I consider a large bridal party) and surprisingly they all agreed on Feb. 18 to go dress shopping.  Are you letting each girl pick a dress that they like, or are they all wearing the same dress?  I'm letting mine choose whatever dress they like in a color that I choose.  I thought that would make it easier, on me AND them.
Good luck shopping, I hope it's fun at least!!

wineo929

I was super lucky. I have 4 BMs and 1 found a dress online she liked (in July!!), sent it to the other 3 and boom. Dresses done.

Sorry you're stressing! I hope it gets sorted out soon!

kellycatalo

I have 4 girls in my bridal party, but i didn't bring them all with me to go shopping. two live here in chicago and two live in st. louis, and i felt silly making them drive up here just to look at dresses. i figured the two up here would be good representatives, since all of my BM's are about the same size. we went to two different places, and afterwards i sent pictures and links to the other two to get their opinions. i knew they would like the dresses i chose, because my MOH (who lives in stl) almost picked them for her wedding. and since we are doing mismatched dresses anyway, they were able to pick whatever style they liked from 7-8 options.

if this is possible, maybe you can just bring those who are closeby/more available. then afterwards you can send pictures to the other girls and they can try them on in stores closer to them.

apaulke2687

I actually envy you! I've always wanted a bigger bridal party, feeling it would be nicer for pictures and all the fun stuff. We are only having 2 on each side. We had a hard time deciding because he has several brothers (a few halfs) but I dont have many girls. only my two best friends and maybe his sister and sil. but they arent the closet so I was'nt sure I wanted them in the wedding unless we were closer. And since our location narrower there isn't a whole lot of room to have a bunch standing on each side. I finally got FI to narrow it down to his best friend and one brother. I'm happy because it's easier to control two ppl but I still have my secret wish for more!

adktd2boots

I went from wanting none, to probably having 5.  I've only asked 2 so far and the others will ask next month. FI doesn't know who he wants to ask yet.

I've opted for allowing them to choose their own dresses.  A lot less headache for me, and the'll spend what they are comfortable spending.

ETA: I also live 1700 miles away from them, half are in one city, half are in another- so logistically this option makes the most sense to me.

NO2012

I have 4 girls and they are all in separate cities, so I decided to take the easy way out and get the dresses at DB since there is one in each of their cities.  I also picked the color and fabric and told them to each pick their own style.  It made the whole process waaay easier and hopefully everyone is happy, including me! They all responded the same day to me and to each other about what style they each wanted so there wasn't any duplication.  Just like that it was taken care of. 

It sounds like at some point you will have to stop trying to be polite and accommodating to them and just start telling them what to do.  You've already started that process from what you say....keep it up and good luck!

Johnsonk313

I also have 6. I decided to let them pick their own dresses as well. I knew it would be to much of a hassle to get everyone together to go dress shopping. This way everyone has a dress they like, and spent what they were comfortable spending.

lbarr088

I have 6 as well  Four out of the six live far away (as in 1000s of miles far).  

Two of the BMs live close to me so I told them, we are going BM dress shopping on such and such a date if that works for you.  It did.  Case in point, take charge a little by giving them a couple date options.  

The orginal two chose a dress but one of the BMs (she came to visit later on) disliked it so we added another style.  This didn't bother me at all, since I am 1. Not paying 2. Not wearing it... so as long as they have the right color I'm fine with it

Basically, take a deep breath and don't stress about it.  It will all work together somehow, it always does!

[Deleted User]

I always figured I would have a lot of BMs but when I finally got engaged I noticed how many of them just had babies or bought houses and I didn't want them to stress or be annoyed at all the money it costs to be in a wedding.  I decided to just have my 2 sisters as both MOH's.  I'm so glad I made that decision..no drama!  My sisters have the exact same body type and taste so dress shopping was easy and fun. 

Maybe just shop with your sister and mom and pick out a few dresses you guys like and let them vote...or pick out a dress that can come in different styles and let them pick their own?  Sorry you're stressing...good luck!

URIsweethearts

I have 3 but - it might quickly become 2 if one of the girls doesn't pay for her dress on time! see my other post haha. but its ok with me - ive always had more guy friends than girls...and there were a lot of girls im close enough with to ask - friends, cousins, I don't have any sisters, etc. but 2 of FIs groomsmen were actually my friends first - and are like brothers to me. so i'm super excited they are in it on FI's side having a smaller group i feel is better. (I cant speak for those who have bigger, but just saying) one of my friends had 8 BMs! i wasnt one of them thank god - but its a lot when you are trying to coordinate and get gifts for everyone...

BMcLeodTeam

I have 5 total in my bridal party, one man of honour and then the 4 girls. They live all over, only 2 of the girls live near me lol

I agree with PP, take a deep breath, it will all work out

mamameech

There are times when I wish I had more ladies to share in the fun, but there are way more times that I'm so grateful to just have one attendant; especially that person being my sister. She is really the only person I HAD to have with me and our relationship allows us to say things to each other I wouldn't say to friends lol; gotta love sisters!

CowgirlK39

I have 3, and they are totally different from me. Two of them I grew up with and one is my BFF from college. They live all over (MOH is here but currently travelling the country to interview for medical residency), and I am having a very hard time with dresses so I understand your issues. It wouldn't be so bad but one girl vetoed the dress the other 2 liked (I prefer same dresses but have a feeling its not gonna happen). She also used up all her time off making poor choices with a guy she was dating who was a total D-bag, so now its not very easy for her to come here and shop. When she tried on the dress-in-question, she told me she didn't like it because it wasnt a fall style. It was comfy and cute, but she felt it wasnt fall-ish enough. WHAT? 

Anytime you need a group of women to do anything, you KNOW its gonna be chaos :P Sorry you're having a tough time.

ekk120

I agree with you MamaMeech! 

 I have just one attendant, a friend of`mine. I knew that if I started to ask other girls, it would soon spiral out of control. Also, FI is super shy, so he doenst have a lot of close friends. It just seemed like the best idea to each stick with one. 

But I do wish I had the big group of girls with me on the morning of to get ready and share in all the fun of a wedding with. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side...

Good luck with everything -- hope it all works out!

DirtyWater

Thanks for the words of wisdom.  I spent all day with FI, registering.  I never knew how LONG it would take.  I also didn't know that at Bed Bath & Beyond, there is someone who walks the entire store with you.  I feel like my head might explode from not eating or drinking all day.

On the girls getting back to me front.  3 of them got back to me.  I texted another and I'm just waiting for 2 more.  I told them I would go as many times as I had to, because I know them and they wont tell me the truth if I'm not there.  Also, I'm only an hour away so they know its fine if I go a few times.

I think we finally have Feb 12th as a date.  I hope both stores can take us.  The thing that sucks is the color I want is the color with the least styles available and none of them are in the same material.  I know 5 of the 6 are fine with picking the same dress. I sent them 5 pictures and they all seem to like the same ones.