XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing

KBSK12

I know etiquette says to address a married couple as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, but I personally wouldn't like losing my first name as a woman. Our wedding is not super traditonal or formal, so I was wondering if something like Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith OR Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith would be acceptable.

KBSK12

I know etiquette says to address a married couple as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, but I personally wouldn't like losing my first name as a woman. Our wedding is not super traditonal or formal, so I was wondering if something like Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith OR Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith would be acceptable.

KBSK12

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_xp-semi-nontraditional-addressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:092180b7-a7a1-4a78-837c-037005900ec6Post:14439f57-0c52-47dd-ad0e-f87bbc61e805">Re: XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing</a>:
[QUOTE]FWIW, I don't mind being addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith for things like invitations. It would only bother me if I received something specifically for me and it was addressed to Mrs. John Smith. That's just annoying.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

I totally agree. Someone on the Etiquette board suggested dropping titles (John and Jane Smith), but then it was mentioned that doing that suggests the wedding is informal, which it's not.  I really didn't think addressing envelopes would be this confusing!

aragx6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_xp-semi-nontraditional-addressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:092180b7-a7a1-4a78-837c-037005900ec6Post:14439f57-0c52-47dd-ad0e-f87bbc61e805">Re: XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith would be the way to go</strong>. A man shouldn't be separated from his last name. Some people don't like this because it looks like Jane doesn't have a last name, but I think its the best way to include both names. FWIW, I don't mind being addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith for things like invitations. It would only bother me if I received something specifically for me and it was addressed to Mrs. John Smith. That's just annoying.
Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

We tried to ask around a bit and see who preferred what, but this is how we did it for any of our guests who run less traditional as well (and it's how I'd prefer too!)

coraleetbwed

Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith

I'm pretty sure this isn't proper etiquette.

coraleetbwed

Can you post where Emily Post says that?  Really curious to see this.

coraleetbwed

I use the internet and according to this Emily Post link, she says Mr. and Mrs.:

http://www.emilypost.com/forms-of-address/titles/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

What do you think isn't proper about it? Ladies first, and a man shouldn't be separated from his last name. That's the only way to do it.

coraleetbwed

I think it's Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  Without the Mr. and Mrs., it's Elaine and John Smith.

Here's addressing information from Crane's Blue Book:

http://www.paperaffairyorktown.com/resource-files/Envelope-Addressing.pdf

This is from the Emily Post link I posted above:

Addressing a Couple
Married, she uses her husband's name socially	Mr. and Mrs. John Kelly

coraleetbwed

I must be the DUMBEST person on earth (but the most traditional!)  I dont see where it says Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith is acceptable.  I see Ms. and Mr. but no Mrs. and Mr.