XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing

Re: XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing

• KBSK12

  

  June 2012 edited June 2012

  I know etiquette says to address a married couple as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, but I personally wouldn't like losing my first name as a woman. Our wedding is not super traditonal or formal, so I was wondering if something like Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith OR Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith would be acceptable.

  

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• KBSK12

  

  June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_xp-semi-nontraditional-addressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:092180b7-a7a1-4a78-837c-037005900ec6Post:14439f57-0c52-47dd-ad0e-f87bbc61e805">Re: XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing</a>:
  [QUOTE]FWIW, I don't mind being addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith for things like invitations. It would only bother me if I received something specifically for me and it was addressed to Mrs. John Smith. That's just annoying.
  Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]
  
  I totally agree. Someone on the Etiquette board suggested dropping titles (John and Jane Smith), but then it was mentioned that doing that suggests the wedding is informal, which it's not.  I really didn't think addressing envelopes would be this confusing!

  

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• aragx6 member

  

  June 2012 edited June 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_xp-semi-nontraditional-addressing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:092180b7-a7a1-4a78-837c-037005900ec6Post:14439f57-0c52-47dd-ad0e-f87bbc61e805">Re: XP: Semi-nontraditional addressing</a>:
  [QUOTE]<strong>Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith would be the way to go</strong>. A man shouldn't be separated from his last name. Some people don't like this because it looks like Jane doesn't have a last name, but I think its the best way to include both names. FWIW, I don't mind being addressed as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith for things like invitations. It would only bother me if I received something specifically for me and it was addressed to Mrs. John Smith. That's just annoying.
  Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]
  
  We tried to ask around a bit and see who preferred what, but this is how we did it for any of our guests who run less traditional as well (and it's how I'd prefer too!)

  

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• coraleetbwed member

  

  June 2012

  Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith
  
  I'm pretty sure this isn't proper etiquette.

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• coraleetbwed member

  

  June 2012

  Can you post where Emily Post says that?  Really curious to see this.

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• coraleetbwed member

  

  June 2012

  I use the internet and according to this Emily Post link, she says Mr. and Mrs.:
  
  http://www.emilypost.com/forms-of-address/titles/96-guide-to-addressing-correspondence

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• TurtlesAllTheWayDown member

  

  June 2012

  What do you think isn't proper about it? Ladies first, and a man shouldn't be separated from his last name. That's the only way to do it.

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• coraleetbwed member

  

  June 2012 edited June 2012

  I think it's Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.  Without the Mr. and Mrs., it's Elaine and John Smith.
  
  Here's addressing information from Crane's Blue Book:
  
  http://www.paperaffairyorktown.com/resource-files/Envelope-Addressing.pdf
  
  This is from the Emily Post link I posted above:
  

  Addressing a Couple
  Married, she uses her husband's name socially	Mr. and Mrs. John Kelly

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• coraleetbwed member

  

  June 2012

  I must be the DUMBEST person on earth (but the most traditional!)  I dont see where it says Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith is acceptable.  I see Ms. and Mr. but no Mrs. and Mr.

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