Invitation wording to attend after dinner

andreatimmy

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rsanna

Beyond the very blatant fact that what you are doing is rude and tacky, I suppose what you have is good.  But it really doesn't matter how you word it, because your after dinner guests will most likely still feel like the second-class guests or the ones who weren't good enough for you to host properly like the way you are treating them.

Also gifts are optional, whether they are good enough for you to feed or not.  So you should never mention anything about gifts or expect them.

Also, what happens if your dinner runs late?  Or if they come early? Just curious?  Do your after dinner guests get to sit there and watch you eat?  That should really drive the point home.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-to-attend-after-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:15f56746-fdf8-4396-806f-197f76956429Post:ca52d6ca-ff57-41a6-8581-bbb6d6e85492">Invitation wording to attend after dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey, I'm having trouble wording invitations to guests that I'm inviting to attend after 8:30 p.m., for drinks and dancing! I want them to attend without feeling like they need to bring gifts! I don't want them to bring gifts, all I want is them to share the special day with me and my Fi! So far I have : Come celebrate our new life as husband and wife With drinks and dancing Date and time We can't wait to see you there?? I have no idea? Any ideas? Thanks in advance Andrea!
Posted by andreatimmy[/QUOTE]

<div>Sorry, but there is no good way to do something so rude.</div><div>
</div><div>No matter what you say, it comes off as "sorry you weren't good enough to be invited to the real deal, but you can come by for sloppy seconds after all the good guests have eaten."  It's insulting and rude.  If you these people don't make the guest list for the whole thing, just leave it be.</div>

egm900

The biggest problem as PP said, is that people will realize they were second string when they walk in the door on time or even 15 minutes late and there is a room full of people who have clearly had time to settle into their places.  Unfortunately there are a lot of hard decisions to make with weddings, and the average bride can't afford to host every single person she, the groom, bride's parents, and groom's parents would like to host.  Either have the reception over a non-meal time so you can serve lighter fare, or decide where to draw the line on the guest list for a full meal reception.

There will be hurt feelings over this.  I have no problem with not being invited to someone's wedding and reception, but I do have a problem with being invited to the reception late, unless I think I'm only being asked as a gift grab.  But why would I go to a reception where I have no desire to go to the wedding?  Mentioning gifts at all is rude, they are not required, and grown adults can decide if they want to give a gift or not.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-to-attend-after-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:15f56746-fdf8-4396-806f-197f76956429Post:814eb6c0-f84e-42e0-98cf-759d1d95d1bd">Re: Invitation wording to attend after dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Well we don't think it's rude at all, most of the people coming afterwards are friends of my brother who doesn't live here anymore. They are more for him to see, since he hasn't seen them in years. And some old work friends that would be thrilled to attended, regardless of they are eating or not! Furthermore, I asked what I should write, not your opinions on what I was doing was rude or not.
Posted by andreatimmy[/QUOTE]

Some people also see nothing wrong with chewing with their mouth open.  It doesn't change the fact that this is rude.  There is a reason that you don't know how to word the invitation that you want to send out. 

We are trying to stop you and your FI from making total and complete asses of yourselves.

MyNameIsNot

The thing is, there is no good way to do a bad thing.  It's like asking for a nice way to tell your friend she's ugly.  It's impossible.  No one can give you a good answer to your question.  

Also, it is well established fact that inviting people to half a party is rude.  Refusing to accept that is like refusing to accept gravity.  It's not a matter of opinion.  

It doesn't matter who these people are.  You don't treat anyone this way.  If they aren't important enough to be invited to the whole thing, they aren't important enough to be invited.  If they are someone else's friends, he can see them at a different time.  

devilishangel61401

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-to-attend-after-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:15f56746-fdf8-4396-806f-197f76956429Post:99341ce4-d3bc-4065-b5e5-360e071b221e">Re: Invitation wording to attend after dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation wording to attend after dinner : Some people also see nothing wrong with chewing with their mouth open.  It doesn't change the fact that this is rude.  There is a reason that you don't know how to word the invitation that you want to send out.  We are trying to stop you and your FI from making total and complete asses of yourselves.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

There is no wording for this bc most ppl are not this rude and disrespectful to their guests period! anyone that says they dont' mind what you want to do is lying to be polite and spare your feelings.

I would be mad as hell if somone did this to me.  You either host everyone or only those you can afford to and leave it at that. If you want your coworkers and other friends to see you and your brother have an ;'after party" arrange to meet at a club or all night diner or see them the next day or at an open house after you're back from your honeymoon.

For petes sake dont invite them to your reception late bc no matter how you percivie it , it says to your guests like a slap in the face "youre only good enough for sloppy seconds"   the reception is a thank you to your guests for showing up  so at least do it properly please

devilishangel61401

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_invitation-wording-to-attend-after-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:15f56746-fdf8-4396-806f-197f76956429Post:a91c6f86-3800-4012-8aa6-e930f83d8720">Re: Invitation wording to attend after dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Invitation wording to attend after dinner : There is no wording for this bc most ppl are not this rude and disrespectful to their guests period! anyone that says they dont' mind what you want to do is lying to be polite and spare your feelings. I would be mad as hell if somone did this to me.  You either host everyone or only those you can afford to and leave it at that. If you want your coworkers and other friends to see you and your brother have an ;'after party" arrange to meet at a club or all night diner or see them the next day or at an open house after you're back from your honeymoon. For petes sake dont invite them to your reception late bc no matter how you percivie it , it says to your guests like a slap in the face "youre only good enough for sloppy seconds"   the reception is a thank you to your guests for showing up  so at least do it properly please
Posted by devilishangel61401[/QUOTE]


I agree with all the PP and I meant to quote the OP not the reply about chewing with your mouth open that was a good one!! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

rumbas2013

I am doing this and it isn’t about money we came across a capacity issue at the venue for the seated count for dinner verses its overall limit in the venue. They advised we can do 120 seated but hold 150 at standing. So we prioritized very close family and friends for the 120 count. The second count is co-workers and friends we occasionally talk to that have not completely fallen off the radar. These are younger single people at about a extra 13 count . We made a few phone calls and asked first and totally didn’t mind at all. We never just sent the invite before talking with them first. My 13 guest are totally fine with it.

The wording I used was :

Kiki and Lou are pleased to announce they will be married in a private ceremony. Please join us for dancing, drinks and merriment when we return as husband and wife.

kraye411

wow, what lack of support. I'm in the same predicament. My reception can only hold 250 people but the guest list has gotten bigger and bigger (over 310 ppl including kids) I want everyone to feel included but A). I can't afford 310 people at $17 a plate. . The reception can't seat that many people. I'm looking for what to say on special invites that i'm creating so I will let you know if I come up with anything.

Jen4948

@kraye411, this is a very old thread that should have been left alone.

@KnotPorscha, we have a zombie thread here