Guests RSVP with no name?

sarah&tom2010

My cousin got married a couple of years ago, and told me that one of her biggest headaches was people who sent her their RSVP card, but without writing in their name!  I would expect one or two people to flake out and do that, but she had more than a dozen, and it was a huge, unexpected nightmare in her last few weeks of planning to try and figure it all out.

My RSVP cards are already printed, with the blank line for their name. The invitations need to mail in 2 weeks -- not enough time to reprint anything. My mom and I are considering writing people's names on their RSVP card for them. But I have heard that's a breach of etiquette.

Frankly, if it will remove a source of stress in those last weeks, I'm willing to commit a minor etiquette breach. But I don't want to actively offend anyone...

Looking for guidance -- has this happened to anyone, or was my cousin's experience unusual? It is a horrible thing to write the names in for them?

Thanks,
Sarah

jenniferceline

Here is one workaround that you could do. In a very very small discrete manner, you could place a small number on each of the RSVP cards, and take note of which invitee got which numbered card. Then, when an RSVP comes back with no names, just look up which of your guests was sent that numbered card.

sarah&tom2010

fabulous idea! What a load off my mind!

kristinanddan

We also numbered our rsvps. In the end, everyone put their name on the rsvp card, but at least we were prepared if someone didn't.

I <3 Seabass

We numbered our RSVP cards as well. Everyone wrote their names but some were illegible and we also had a lot of guest with the same first a last name so it made it easier to decipher who's card was who.

squirrly

Suggestion - consider a funky code rather than a straight up number.  That way, the invitee doesn't find the number and get offended that they're 142 instead of 12.  If their name is Smith, maybe you put SM75, where 75 is their house number or something.  More time consuming, but less drama, potentially.  (Yes, I've heard of guests complaining about this - mostly where there are divorced parents/step families/etc. involved.)

hfbellefille

I saw this on another board, or maybe it was here: try using an invisible ink pen on the back.  You can number to your heart's content without anyone knowing who is which number.  (To me it seems ridiculous that anyone would care, after all, I didn't start making my wedding excel spreadsheet in ranked order of who I liked best, I did it by social circle, but now it's in alphabetical order, but I guess some people love to find ways to take offense). 

Found this link for a great deal on a pen (they also have them at amazon).  You just write them out, then use the UV light when they come back! 
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.88

sarah&tom2010

Thanks everyone, great ideas and a welcome removal of stress for me!  Love the invisible ink idea!