Invitations vs. Save-the-dates

tdweaver2

Hi ladies,

My fiance' and I are in the process of searching for the perfect invitation for our July 2010 wedding.  90% of our guest are from out-of-town.

Do we need to send out both save-the-dates and invitations?  Also, how soon would you recommend mailing them out?

Thanks for your expertise!

MyNameIsNot

Invites go out 6-8 weeks in advance. 

STDs are never necessary, but they can be helpful when guests are travelling to send travel info ahead of time.  If you send them, they typically go 6-9 months ahead.  When you do the STD, include all the travel info and a link to your wedding website with all that info on it.  In any event, do not send STDs until you are 100% sure on your guestlist.  Once someone gets one, you must invite them. 

STDs can be pretty informal.  Some people have just sent out a mass email with a link to the website.  They don't have to be fancy or expensive.

squirrly

With that many OOT guests, STDs would likely be helpful.  PIB of ours. 

marista99

What happens if I send someone a save-the-date, and then they tell me that they definitely cannot attend.  Do I still send them an invitation?

squirrly

That's really up to you.  I would, as things can change and it's been known to happen that somebody who RSVP'd no to the STD will RSVP yes to the invite.  Etiquette wise, you're absolutely obliged to send the invite after sending the STD. 

It would really depend on the reason they couldn't be there, for me.  If they're military and will be deployed - I might not send the invite.  If they're touring with a broadway musical, I would - never know when the show schedule might change.

Basically, the only time I would NOT send the invite is if it's 100% positive there's no way they could attend, they weren't sentimental enough to want the invite anyway, and/or if they would see it as gift-grabby.