Do Adults living with parents get their own invitation

Angel452

I have some cousins and friends( over 18) still living at home with their parents.  Do they each get their own invitation? My mom says yes, because they are all adults and not a couple.  But for some families, that would be three going to the same household ( the parents, and two sisters being invited). That seems excessive.

lyndausvi

yes.  

I sent 5 to one household.  GMIL, 2 SILs and BIL all lived with my MIL at the time.  They all get +ones so 10 people on an invite would have been silly also.

itzMS

Yes.

Remember, if the person over 18 is in a relationship, you really should be inviting their boyfriend/girlfriend by name as well.

Jen4948

Yes, they should.

katelynda

I'm not sending individual invitations. I'm putting all of their names on one invite because we are on a budget. Alot of our guests can't bring a +1 because we just don't have the money. They are also able to say how many people are coming on the RSVP card, so why do they need a separate invite? I can see how it is polite to send each individual an invite, but it's your wedding, your budget. If people get upset, they get upset. As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter.

sgrace711

I also have two over 18 year old sisters who live with their parents but I only sent one invitation. Technically, yes, each adult should get their own but I chose to do a single invitation because I honestly don't think they would care. They are not super formal/ traditional people. I would send a seperate invitation if A. they were the type to expect it or B. there was more than one family in the same household (like if one of the sisters were married). I did send seperate invitations to my fiance's grandparents and his married sisnter living with them. Just do what feels natural. It's your family, you know better than anyone what is appropriate. 

MeganMarie8605

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_do-adults-living-with-parents-get-their-own-invitation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:9946b0a5-f24c-4305-b22c-13787de5ae44Post:e490b6cb-d42e-4136-acf2-0144289c14e8">Re: Do Adults living with parents get their own invitation</a>:
[QUOTE]As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter. Wrong. It stops being about your the moment you involve others. Be careful that your One Perfect Day doesn't result in a lifetime of damaged or lost friendships.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

If someone is so upset that you only sent one invitation that they won't be my friend anymore than I'm not so sure that I would have wanted them to be anyway. And your wedding day is not about everyone else. Contrary to what you think it's still about the bride and groom

Trucker2007

Keep your budget in mind. If you can afford it; send them their own invites. If you can't I'm sure they'd rather be on their parent's invite than not invited at all. 

libbykoz

I think the person who is posting that you absolutely "have to"  is obviously someone who would be offended by not having their own invitation.  You have to examine your invitees and see if they would be offended.  We are sending one invitation to each house and are addressing it to the family, i.e. "the smith family",  if they are not living on their own, they do not get a date/individual invitation.  However, we do not have anyone over the age of 22 who still lives with their parents. if it was a 30 year old cousin, then we might.  I however do think that your true friends/ family understand that you are on a budget!  I also asked my mom to make sure they wouldn't be offended too, so you can always ask someone close to them to make sure they are not offended!

bdpbride

Yikes I can't imagine any of my friends or family getting so bent out of shape by wedding invitation etiquette to end a relationship over it.  That is beyond extreme to me and really very petty.  I bet 90% of people out there don't know what the 'etiquette' is on sending wedding invitations - hence a whole forum & section devoted to etiquette.

I agree etiquette says adults should have their own invitation and we are doing that for 'most' guests in that situation but not all because the the adult male children that still live at my fiance's cousin's house A) wouldn't care, wouldn't have the first inkling on any wedding etiquette period and C) would most likely lose the invite immediately - they are college boys so one invite that the mom will handle seems very appropriate.

If I was still living with my parents would I be offended by something like that?  Bottom line no, I really don't see it as a big deal but if you are concerned by the people you are inviting and you have the means send each their own, if not, I don't see much harm in sending one.

elisp

Absolutely send each individual their own invitation - you can put them into one outer envelope to save postage, but don't run the risk of insulting anyone over an invitation. 

For those who think it is silly to think this is insulting and don't want to "be friends" with anyone who would be insulted by this, consider my situation: 

I am 34 years old. I'm a single mom. My household includes my son and my mother. My mom is a senior, but still works and pays her half of the household expenses, and I pay half of them as well. We are adults, equals. We continuously get invited as a "family" - both of our names on the invitation with no "and guest" attached. They address us as if we are a couple with a child. It is offensive to BOTH of us, because it a) assumes that we would not like to bring a date, and b) puts me in the position of a dependent child or my mother in the position as a "senior citizen" who is dependent on her child. Neither is true. 

When this happens on invites to birthday parties, reunions, things of that nature, it is no big deal - hey, save a stamp, right? But if you are bothering with formal invitations and formal wording, please be thoughtful to people who might already feel a bit sensitive about their situation, or who would just like to be treated as an adult or as a capable person (in the case of the elderly). Also, it leaves us in an odd position when we are given a single RSVP card, since I have sometimes wanted to go, but my mom sent in a decline before she realized I was planning to ask for time off work, etc. We generally drive on our own, arrive separately, leave at different times. Why would you not invite us separately? But, 90% of the time, people don't, and it *does* offend me. 

I would say that anyone who is not a dependent child should receive an invite ... over 16 is a bit ridiculous, but certainly graduated high school, in college/working should get an invite. Dependent developmentally delayed adult children who will attend with parents should also receive their own invite - even if they will not care (though many will be thrilled with getting their own invite and being treated as their actual age dictates), it will mean something to their parents. 

Etiquette rules happen for a reason. Why offend someone when you do not need to? It is ok to not allow an unmarried/unengaged person a +1. Just do not offer "and a guest" on the invitation, and have your RSVP card worded "Yes, I will be attending" and "Decline, with regrets." Simple. No option for a guest. Single people at a wedding are the makings of another. 

doeydo

Yes.  People, unless they are under the age of 18, who live with their parents receive their own invitation.