"Stock the Bar" Bridal Shower - invitation wording

dianegeiger

My future SIL is throwing me a "stock the bar" shower. 

How do we word this on the invitations?  

or more pointedly, how do i convey what that means (to people who will be confused).  

My initial idea was a "wine shower".  And truth be told, I would really love it if people would just bring one modest bottle of wine to this thing - simple and inexpensive.  Nothing extravagant or excessive (and i'm thinking maybe this can be expressed via word-of-mouth???)  

However, I want to be sensitive to the fact that some people (like non-drinkers) may not even want to purchase and give booze - at all.  that's why my initial idea of a wine shower turned into a more broad "stock the bar" shower - to include beverages of all kinds, and drink ware, accessories, etc.  (I have also registered for coffee and tea.)

anyway, i don't know what i'm saying... i guess i'm wondering how to handle this well, on the invitation.  for the people who will be confused or not know what to bring.  to make it easier on them.

Do we JUST write "you're invited to a 'stock the bar' shower!", and leave it at that?

or do we include any info about what TYPES of things this (ideally) includes?

I want to be polite and correct about this.  i hate it that i'm even forced to "troll for gifts" from family and friends in the first place, ugh! 

trix1223

I personally don't really like "theme gift" showers.  I think people should be permitted to buy you a gift you want from a registry.  Some concerns I have about a "stock the bar" shower are:  do you really need all the accoutrements of a Don Draper style bar? 

And how exactly do you avoid getting 6 bottles of Stoli and none of Jack Daniels?

This just doesn't sound like a great idea to me.  You can decline the shower if you're uncomfortable with it.  And I'd also be okay with saying to your FSIL, "I'm so grateful that you want to host a shower for me.  But your brother and I are far more comfortable with a traditional shower where guests can get something from our registry".

Good luck.

Lisa8888

I bet a lot of people won't know what that means...stock the bar. I think it is rude to tell guests what is allowable to give as a gift. A registry gives suggestions but stock the bar really narrows the gifts.

elle80

This is my EXACT question.  I am hosting a stock the bar party for a couple and I am completely stumped on how to word the invitation. 

I was even thinking that it would be nice to add entertainment-type gifts to the theme as well- because I feel like there's only so many items that can help "stock the bar". 

Sorry I can't help, but I'll be watching this post and hoping that someone has a really great answer for us!!

shoegal715

I find this rude. I don't know why you should be asking / expecting people to buy you alcohol. 

applemarie

Why don't you have it as an extra.  Like I know when you go to baby showers they say bring a pack of diapers and be entered to win a prize.  You could say something like bring your fav bottle and be entered for a prize.  That way its an optional feeling and you can still have the traditional bridal shower as well and no one feels like they can't buy you a new toaster or crockpot!

I like the idea...seems fun!  And since its also "spirit friendly"...you can even ask for drink recipes!

Good luck!

ryry1110

I love this idea!  I was wanting to have a similar party only for the groom.  But this could also work!  Also, you could sell tickets to win a prize and tell everyone the money goes to the alcohol for the reception.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_stock-bar-bridal-shower-invitation-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:ed8835f9-3569-4bfc-a59b-8d065aff764ePost:f18bbb77-25c7-4a2b-807b-2e81872e5502">Re: "Stock the Bar" Bridal Shower - invitation wording</a>:
[QUOTE]I love this idea!  I was wanting to have a similar party only for the groom.  But this could also work!  Also, <strong>you could sell tickets to win a prize and tell everyone the money goes to the alcohol for the reception</strong>.
Posted by ryry1110[/QUOTE]

Or you could plan for and budget for the reception you can afford without making your guests participate in a fundraiser for the party they'll be attending.

jlk0219

First of all, themed showers are really popular, so I don't get why all of you think this is rude.  I think it's a unique idea, and so what if what the couple wants is wine and not the "traditional" gifts, then what's the problem? It's no different than someone registering for a honeymoon.

I think it would be easier to stick with wine (as a pp said how do you know what kinds of hard liqour you'll be getting) and barware.  You could get "vinyard" themed invitations- this website has some really cute but elegant ones.  Then for the wording you could say something like:

"Please join us for a bridal shower honoring Diane
Date
Time
Place

Please bring your favorite bottle of vino and help the bride and groom-to-be stock their wine cabinet!  Or visit their registry at _____ for barware and other accessories"

That way you're bound to please both drinkers and non-drinkers (since they can buy you glasses or a bottle chiller from the registry) and you should receive lots of different types of wine since they're invited to bring their favorite.

bekahjane89

I think this is a really cute idea!!! I see nothing wrong with theme showers!

What I'm running into is that there are several people who want to throw my FI and I a shower, many of them are small and are from different sets of friends (which is nice to prevent duplicate shower invites for the guests) - Theme showers are perfect for this situation! That way you don't have to keep adding to an already overwhelming registry that is greatly depleted etc.

I recently threw my friend a stock the pantry shower (I've heard them called pound it to me showers, like a pound of flour, or sugar...)- we did it as an extra, the idea was that the guests bring one ingredient included in their favorite recipe that they also wrote down on a card and brought to the shower (we sent the cards beforehand along with the invitations). It worked out great! The bride got a chance to look at the recipes and talk to the guests about them, which took up time so we didn't have to play more games that everyone has played a million times before. The guests all brought their normal shower gift and added a bag of flour or sugar or box of pudding to it. It was cute and wasn't a huge added expense.

wording for invites: what we did was some cute verse about the shower at the beginning then just explained at the bottom how exactly it works. Make sure you put a phone number on there for RSVPs and that's a great route for questions the guests may have (especially if they haven't been to a shower like this before).

Hope you have a great time!!

dianegeiger

jlk, i love that wording!  i actually initially wanted to stick with wine, but feared that would be too limiting.  but really, i LIKE it!  

and bekahjane, thanks for your input, too!

applemarie, i DO get what you mean about people wanting to get me a toaster or a crockpot.  i think that's what i'm struggling with - i'll die if people buy me kitchen stuff!  I'm 40 and have more kitchen stuff than i know what to do with.  i imagine being embarrassed receiving household stuff.  the thought of it makes me feel kinda ashamed.  both because of my age, and also the bad economy!  i want people to feel like they can show up with an inexpensive modest bottle of wine, and it's totally okay!  (great, really!)

my mom was asking me the other day, "well, what if someone doesn't want to buy wine or barware?"  that raised two questions for me...  the first is:  well, what if you get an invitation to a lingerie or kitchen shower.  and you "don't want to" buy lingerie or kitchen stuff?  then what do you do?  are people allowed options in THOSE cases?

and also, I was wondering if there was a way to expand my idea into including coffee and tea (without being confusing).  I mean, I could really use all that stuff for ENTERTAINING our guests and visitors... ?

Thanks ladies!

Meagan78

They could buy you barware.  Or you could go with a "beverage" shower, although you may end up with more hard liquor/less wine if you don't specify coffee/tea.

schmidtfamily

I was looking for wording to put on wine bottle favors.  Thanking them for coming to engagement but to open the bottle with the couple to toast their future.  any ideas?

itzMS

@knotporscha

Pleaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeee can you do something about these Zombie threads?!?!

Dreamergirl8812

schmidtfamily said:

I was looking for wording to put on wine bottle favors.  Thanking them for coming to engagement but to open the bottle with the couple to toast their future.  any ideas?

Why on Earth would this be the appropriate thread to ask this question?! It's 3 years old.

grumbledore

jlk0219 said: First of all, themed showers are really popular, so I don't get why all of you think this is rude.  I think it's a unique idea, and so what if what the couple wants is wine and not the "traditional" gifts, then what's the problem? It's no different than someone registering for a honeymoon.

I think it would be easier to stick with wine (as a pp said how do you know what kinds of hard liqour you'll be getting) and barware.  You could get "vinyard" themed invitations- this website has some really cute but elegant ones.  Then for the wording you could say something like:

"Please join us for a bridal shower honoring Diane
Date
Time
Place

Please bring your favorite bottle of vino and help the bride and groom-to-be stock their wine cabinet!  Or visit their registry at _____ for barware and other accessories"

That way you're bound to please both drinkers and non-drinkers (since they can buy you glasses or a bottle chiller from the registry) and you should receive lots of different types of wine since they're invited to bring their favorite.
_______________________________________________________
How can something be both popular and unique?  Just sayin'.

I think it's rude because it's not in the spirit of a bridal/wedding shower.  The spirit is to help set the couple up for their life together - doing so by giving housewares is tradition for a reason.  I don't particularly care for non-traditional registries either - although I don't have an issue with a couple putting a few "extras" on a registry (like cameras and stuff like that).

I probably wouldn't decline a stock the bar shower if I was good friends with the couple, but I would think it was stupid.

And you're right, it's not very different from registering for a honeymoon, which is also rude and stupid.