Funny, yet interesting name change article.

d78

As usual...what snorge said! ;-)

snorge

Thanks, Dori--and I even managed to out-WOT you!  ;o)

d78

M... :-P  

slm13

I think it's funny that people found this article either condescending or light-hearted. I personally thought she was amusing. Sonya-my mother actually thought I had to go fill out papers to keep my name. She thought the name change was automatic and didn't realize there was a choice. And as far as stirring up trouble, I really thought it was a funny article, and I still do. Hence the reason I titled the post with "funny". Plus, there's a lot of info in there that people might not have known.

d78

You totally did, snorge! Oh & for your list of things to do (you know, in your free time!): new siggy! :-P

dicer2

DH thought my name changed automatically also!  He was confused when I talked about going to change my name.

KRMac

LOL about it changing automatically.  Now that is a little crazy!

kbielak17

Oh how nice would it be if it actually could change automatically if you wanted it to....

LaFemmeRousse

Eh, I didn't find it particularly condescending or amusing   Light-hearted, yeah, about an issue that many people take personally, hence the strong opinions many of you voiced here.  I DO feel like my last name is part of my identity.  I love it, and I also love my middle name, because of the history and story behind both names and the way they tie me to other people in my family.  I absolutely hate the idea of having to drop my last name just because I get married- again, I think it's the feminist part of my brain yelling at me.  I hate even more when people refer to women as Mrs. hisfirstname hislastname!  FI, however, along with both our families, really really wants me to change it.  My compromise is to hyphenate- so I'll be LaFemme middlename mylastname-hislastname. 

daveys_baby

I can really see where everyone is coming from on this.  I do consider my name a big part of my identity.  And I kind of agree, it seems the first name is a lot bigger of a part than the last, I think I would be a different person to some extent if I weren't a "Jamie."  But then again, I absolutely know I would be a different person if I weren't a "maiden name," the way my family raised me is the real reason that I am who I am.All that being said, I never gave it a second though when I took DH's name (I got rid of my maiden and kept my middle).  It was something I always knew I would do if I married.  My ILs don't have the same values I do and quite frankly I don't think that I fit into whatever identity they have created for their family, but DH and I can create our own identity as a family regardless of the name we use.It's funny that you mention ethnicity Shannon, I always thought it would be cool to have a very ethnic name (and anyone who's friends with me on FB knows how boring and Anglican my maiden and married are).I do like the way the author starts off the article, no one better ever call the wedding announcements "the sports pages for women" in my presence, lol.  But I agree at points it is condescending. (btw, I like Katie Couric's married better lol)

reannalynne

1- Shannon, if your mom didn't know your last name didn't change automatically, is her last name not officially changed? Or did she just forget? I just thought it would be funny if after a long time it wasn't officially changed...(assuming your parents are together and she took your dad's name)2- I also don't feel that my last name is part of my identity, I just get lumped into the group with "oh you are a mylastname! Are you related to george?" and then the list goes on and on and on of "are you related to..." 's.  I also feel like that when people hear my last name, they watch me and "babysit" me when I am in public to tell my grandmother.  When I was younger, I couldn't even get into a small amount of mischief (which I know is good, but sometimes you gotta have fun!) because I was being watched and people would "tell" on me.  I also have a very common last name, not quite as common as smith, but still very common.  I am changing to another common last name, but you don't hear it as much in our area right now.  There is another large family with the same name as what my maiden name is, so the name is EVERYWHERE.  I am much more attached to my first and middle name, as evident by my username, and that even took a while to transpire.  For some reason I hated my middle name until I was about 14 and finally embraced it. I didn't like the lynne because it was the same as my mom's middle name and my aunt and cousin on my Dad's side have the middle name Lynn, and a cousin of his is named Lynn. It just seemed like there were too many around.  Then I realized I was "different" from the rest of them because I had an E on the end which you don't see as often, and embraced it. Wow, sorry for the rambl-y WOT!

slm13

Reanna- I asked my mom and she said she doesn't remember doing it, but she must have because it is legally changed.

reannalynne

FI and I used to joke that we were both going to change our last name and make one up all of our very own...but that would only be interesting for like, a month probably.  It would be funny to see the look on our family's faces when they announced us at the reception and after the ceremony though! I now introduce Mr and Mrs James and Reanna Rowbellert!

kwynn

After I got married, I got two messages on FB from religious friends of mine asking when I was changing my name or why I hadn't changed my name on FB yet. I think their questions stem more from their "leave and cleave" philosophy, but it really annoyed me.Also, I grew up thinking that I would change my name, never giving it a second thought. Of course, I never thought I would earn two degrees and work under my maiden name either, so I changed my mind.Like Jamie, I don't really identify with my IL's family. I don't necessarily want to carry on a name from my FIL!

AMK2009

So I just took a quick break from working (and online Christmas shopping) to see what was going on here, and I was going to skip the article, but since there's so many comments on it, I figured I'd read it.I agree with those who say the article is condescending.  Like seriously, they compare name change for marriage to witness protection program?  That's a little extreme.  I never ever thought twice about changing my name, I would never want my children to grow up with a different last name than me.  I don't get the maiden name for middle name thing either.  My middle name is after my great-grandmother, and that's MY name, not just a family name.  And by having your maiden name as a last name, you're really not carrying on your name because you still have chose your future children's name, so if you want him/her to have your maiden name you have to give it to him, it's not like it's automatically passed on.  And I don't really see the point in having 4 names.And really, I didn't even realize so many people did not change their last name until I joined the knot.  I thought it was just celebrities who know their marriage isn't going to last more than 5 months or those with really prestigious careers where they are well known in their field.

KimWard

I don't get the maiden name for middle name thing either. My middle name is after my great-grandmother, and that's MY name, not just a family name.Some people value their middle name more, and others value their maiden name more. I think that's what it comes down to. Some middle names are special/have a reason behind them, and others don't.And I don't really see the point in having 4 names.To each his own. I know that by keeping my maiden name, I'm not carrying it on since I took DH's name. But it was important to me to keep all names, just adding on DH's. I am attached to both my middle name and maiden name. Plus I think it makes it easier in regards to geneology. Ok, I'll stop now- I probably sound like a broken record.

daveys_baby

The witness protection comparison is just stupid.  It's not about taking away the person's identity, it's about making them less identifiable in a phonebook or searching public records for their safety.As far as celebrities, how many of their "maiden" names are actually their real names (first or last)?  Angelina Jolie's real last name is Voight so that is a poor example.  For that mater, how many of the male celebrities go by their real last names either!

kwynn

And really, I didn't even realize so many people did not change their last name until I joined the knot. I thought it was just celebrities who know their marriage isn't going to last more than 5 months or those with really prestigious careers where they are well known in their field. I think it depends on what area of the country you live in, your profession, your age, social circles, etc. Only 80% of women change their names, so 20% don't.  All my friends from my HS that have married have changed their names.None of my friends from graduate school have. It seems that in bigger cities, the name changing is happening less. Here in the South, I get a huge reaction if I tell anyone I didn't change my name because it is so common here. It is certainly a trend now given that women marry later and later, there are more remarriages/second marriages/children before the marriage, etc. And given our increasingly global culture, where many, many women from other countries don't change names, I don't think it is as prevalent as it once was to keep one's birth name. In my mom's generation, she said everyone changed their name; that's just what you did.