maybe some financial help...

PJBHL5

So P and I had gone into this knowing we were paying for everything. My parents spent a pretty penny on my last wedding AND they are presently letting me and my kids live with them (without paying a penny) until P is out of the service and into the same town as me, so that I can stay home with the kids and work my business. Needless to say, I don't expect a penny from them.
Patrick's parent's hadn't mentioned offering any help, so I was assuming to not have anything from that side either.
then today, out of nowhere, they offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Which is sweet. But we aren't having one. LOL
Our wedding is at 5:30pm and I will be seeing Patrick before the wedding (albeit not the whole time, but we will start setting stuff up together, then I'll leave to go do hair/makeup/dress, then we'll meet back up where the photog will take pics of him seeing me for the first time, etc). Our bridal party is tiny (2 adults, 3 kids) and we are walking down the aisle together. I don't see any value in having a formal rehearsal or dinner (especially since some people won't even be in town until saturday morning since the wedding is so late and his side of the family lives only 2.5 hours from the ceremony location... makes sense to drive in early on saturday instead of on friday).
We told her that we appreciated the offer but don't intend on doing a traditional rehearsal... and she said "well maybe we can contribute something to the wedding or reception" but wanted to talk to his dad first (of course). So hopefully that will take a small dent out of something!

melb2013

That's awesome!

SSaltzman87

They could host a day after brunch or something? Still it's awesome that they offered to contribute :-)

lalans

Yep! One thing that might help also is if they pick a specific part to pay for...that's what I am doing with FI's parents.  They are paying for all the alcohol, and probably one or two other things, like a shuttle if we need one.

[Deleted User]

That's great!

PJBHL5

I think what we are going to do is just say "if you'd like to contribute, you can contribute whatever amount you want" and just not tell them where it's going. His parents are very much NOT control freaks and i doubt it would be an issue, BUT i've heard so many horror stories of people thinking "I paid, I get to pick", so we've decided that if either sets of parents contribute something, we'll basically say "contribute the amount you're comfortable with", add it to the bank account, and spend it as needed. Less drama.