May 2012 Weddings

Does anyone else wish that their FI would be.....

more romantic???

Don't get me wrong, FI has his moments, but I really wish he'd be a little more romantic on his own (like on days that aren't my bday, valentines day etc.)

I knew long ago that he wasn't the most romantic guy ever, and I accepted that about him but sometimes, when I see other guys buying flowers etc. for their wives, gfs, I get thinking about how I wish FI would do that on a random day! Also, when we get home from work, we're both wiped out and not in the mood to do anything besides eat dinner, watch tv, and go to bed.

Maybe we need to go out on a "date" which we haven't really done in a while. I might suggest dinner and a movie this weekend to try and get him to be a little more lovey dovey!

Anyone elses FI not really romantic? Any tips on how to get him to be a little bit more romantic?
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Re: Does anyone else wish that their FI would be.....

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    I'm in the same boat.  FI takes really good care of me and treats me well, but he's not very spontaneous when it comes to doing romantic things.  I do agree that going on dates here and there can help, though!  We've gotten ourselves into a routine VERY similar to yours, and I think getting out of the house once in a while really helps make things more "lovey dovey". :)
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    FI is amazing, and he is a wonderful man, but I also wish he was more romantic. FI thinks it's romantic when he takes out the trash or cleans out the litter box, but I think it's romantic when he leaves little love note stickies or buys me flowers on a non-holiday day. I love surprises!

    Men and women have a completely different idea of what romantic is. I know women of my mom's generation thinks it's romantic when their husbands vacuum or clean the toilet, but for me those things are just contributing the household, and anything but romantic. 

    For some reason I always feel more lovey dovy with FI when we are out of the house at a movie, or a stroll on the beach. 
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    FI and I actually had this talk not to long ago.

    When we first met FI was so romantic and lovely dovey. He would buy me flowers like once a week or every other week. He opened doors for me and wrote me sweet notes.

    And now it's like dead lol. He still trys every now and then but it's like we don't have time. We are also in that boat where we come home, eat, watch tv, and go to bed. Theres no romance anymore.

    My best advice is to talk to him about it and mention how even little things make a big difference!
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    My FI is a sweet, generous guy..But not romantic. I knew this ages ago, but that doesn't change my wish that he was a little more romantic. I appreciate that he takes care of me, and I think I got flowers from him once in the 4 1/2 years we've been together. We have date nights on Friday and Saturday nights and go out to dinner. Then we end up in Lowes! Lol.

    Guess it's time for a chat...
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    my best advice....if you feel that the romance has fizzled, he probably has too. don't leave all the romance up to the men.  Do something spontaneous and romatic for him. this will both put you in a better and more romantic "sexy" place. If you do romantic things for him, he'll realize how awesome it is and how great it feels and I bet he'll return the favor. sometimes you can only talk so much, other times action is the best way to get results. good luck ladies :)
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    In Response to <a href="">Re: Does anyone else wish that their FI would be.....</a>:
    [QUOTE]my best advice....if you feel that the romance has fizzled, he probably has too. don't leave all the romance up to the men.  <strong>Do something spontaneous and romatic for him.</strong> this will both put you in a better and more romantic "sexy" place. If you do romantic things for him, he'll realize how awesome it is and how great it feels and I bet he'll return the favor. sometimes you can only talk so much, other times action is the best way to get results. good luck ladies :)
    Posted by deanabuonincontri[/QUOTE]

    <div>When I do something romantic for FI he of course loves it, and then within the next few days he will do something romantic for me, but I am always the one to initiate it, if I didn't do it first he wouldn't have done it at all. Men seriously need things spelled out :)</div>
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    littleshrinklittleshrink member
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    edited March 2012
    Men and Women really do have a completely different idea of "romance".  I think it's important to take notice of the things our guys do do for each of us.  There are things, or else we wouldn't be marrying them.  I'm in the "old" boat and really do love the romantic things like him walking the dogs before we go to bed so I don't have to, leaving a note on the counter when I come home for lunch saying I love you, buying me something at the grocery store just because he knows it's my favorite.  We live in a small town and big gestures are not big around here.  The fact that he still holds my hand is pure romance to me. 
    I would just let your guys know sometimes you miss "the good ole days" and let them know what you are looking for.  It's always different for each of us!  A friend of mine had this question and I suggested the weekly/monthly date night and it has worked like a charm for the two of them.  She also told him what she was looking for and he didn't even realize that he wasn't showing her romance more.  Guys simply don't think about stuff like this like us girls do!
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    I agree and also wish my FI would be more romantic without a "cause", but that's just not who he is and that's okay. It makes those little moments HUGE when he does do them..

    I read an interesting article in some trashy girl magazine a while that i found very poignant and interesting.. We expect our guys to be "men" and do the 'manly" things around the household and be our rock and all of that stuff.. but then we also complain when they aren't sensitive enough or romantic enough. What do we want?
    Most FI's don't expect US to be two opposite sides of the spectrum, is it fair that we do that for them? Some are sensitive but less stereotypically "manly" and others are great at being the "tough guy" and we'll have to take what we can for the sensitive.

    We're just wired differently!

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    This is an interesting topic.  I always thought I wanted the "most romantic" guy I could possibly find; one who would shower me with attention, flowers, surprises, etc.  Then I met FI, who hasn't given me flowers once in the almost 5 years we have been together.  We talk about it from time to time and he always sees and supports my side of things, but in the end, flowers and cards still don't make an appearance! HA  What I have done is switch my thinking around a bit, and it honestly has helped me a lot in feeling fulfilled, without getting all those things I "thought" I wanted.  
    Every monring, FI gets up before me (if he has to work) or with me (on his days off), and makes me coffee, packs my lunch for work, sets out my breakfast, puts my things in my car, and always sees me off to work.  He could be sleeping in, but he doesn't because he says it's important to him to be there to start my day off right.  He always puts a little note on my jello, something that has a special meaning that only I would know.  He starts my bath for me at night, and always makes sure to light a candle for me so I have a "relaxing" environment.  Most of these things would seem just normal for a lot of people, or some might just expect this because they don't scream romance.  But how I see it is...he gives me flowers/cards every day, just in a different way.  He is thinking about me when he writes that note on my jello, or when he gives up sleeping in just to see me off to work.  He is showing me how much he loves me by making sure all those little things happen, to make my day just a little easier.  So anytime I find myself smiling because of some small thing he did for me, I tell myself that I just got flowers again...and I see that he's romancing me, just in his own special way.  
    Not sure if this helps any of you ladies but, I know I don't feel like I am missing things nearly as much as I used to.  I will say though, if flowers showed up, I wouldn't turn them down! HAHA
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    ha! yes. my guy is clueless! :) He's a wonderful man so if that's the one thing he can't do then I guess I'm ok with that...though it would be nice if he would suprise me once in a while! lol
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