June 2013 Weddings
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Bridesmaids dresses and it starts

just ordered them today and I am so excited! they are all gonna look so beautiful up there with me! Love this dress they will be wearing it in fushia! kinda want one myself hahah

http://www.promgirl.com/shop/dresses/viewitem-PD780913

the only thing is that through the store it went there are a lot but because it is a prom dress we really have to be quick on it. 2 of my bridesmaids bought it but my 3rd one said she is not able to at the moment. I am alittle flustered because I told her in the beginning of summer that we will be purchasing by the end of the summer and told her it would be around 200+. I also told her that if she is unable to afford to be a bridesmaid that it would be fine and dont want her to be stressed out and wouldnt mind if she would rather just be a guest and it wouldn't hurt my feelings. Anyways she should have been saving already and now she says she has to wait. Normally this would be fine but the dress shop wont order the other girls till they get all the payments. and the other 2 have already paid. I told her that I would like to have them ordered in two weeks due to the urgency.  If at two weeks she is unable to I plan on calling the dress shop and telling them to jsut order the two

am I over reacting?

Re: Bridesmaids dresses and it starts

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    First, it is a really cute dress, I love it, but it is definitely on the pricier side.

    I really dont think you should be saying "she should have been saving", it really isnt your business how someone spends their money and buying a dress for your wedding is probably not her top priority. If money is tight for her, $200 is a lot of money to shell out on a dress she is going to wear one time, as the bride, it is your responsibility to choose a dress that everyone can afford.

    I personally think it is wrong to toss someone out of a wedding party because they can't afford a pretty expensive dress that you chose. I personally have a BM that is having money problems, I flat out told her I would be happy to purchase the dress for her because that is how badly I want her to stand next to me on my day. However, it might not even come to that. One thing you could do is offer to front the money for the dress since it has to be ordered fairly soon and have her pay you back gradually.

    Please do not use your bridal party as accessories, they are people with feelings, and have a life way more important than your wedding, I think you could stand to be a little more sympathetic.

    I dont necessarily think you are overreacting, I think you failed to choose a dress all your girls could afford and you need to fix that mistake.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-dresses-and-it-starts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:99d8c54e-2317-4989-876f-d967aafdef54Post:6f080d2e-f315-489d-89a9-0f232808e37c">Re: Bridesmaids dresses and it starts</a>:
    [QUOTE]First, it is a really cute dress, I love it, but it is definitely on the pricier side. I really dont think you should be saying "she should have been saving", it really isnt your business how someone spends their money and buying a dress for your wedding is probably not her top priority. If money is tight for her, $200 is a lot of money to shell out on a dress she is going to wear one time, as the bride, it is your responsibility to choose a dress that everyone can afford. I personally think it is wrong to toss someone out of a wedding party because they can't afford a pretty expensive dress that you chose. I personally have a BM that is having money problems, I flat out told her I would be happy to purchase the dress for her because that is how badly I want her to stand next to me on my day. However, it might not even come to that. One thing you could do is offer to front the money for the dress since it has to be ordered fairly soon and have her pay you back gradually. P<strong>lease do not use your bridal party as accessories, they are people with feelings, and have a life way more important than your wedding, I think you could stand to be a little more sympathetic. </strong>I dont necessarily think you are overreacting, I think you failed to choose a dress all your girls could afford and you need to fix that mistake.
    Posted by sparkles776[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree 100% with all of this. 200+ is a lot for your BMs to spend on a dress. If I was her and you had told me I could just be a guest I would be really hurt if I couldn't swing the money right now. Like Sparkles said you could front the money for the dress and have her pay you back if it absolutely needs to be ordered now.</div>
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    I see what you are both saying and agree, I feel for her because I could see that she was embarrassed when everyone else was purchasing it there but I felt that I handled it right by speaking with the consultant alone to just take her measurments and that she would do that payment over the phone at a later time. I also really wish I could give her money but I have done this many  many times in our 10 year friendship and have never gotten any money back but even if I could we are closing on our home in a month and really can not spare the money. I think I will see how it goes and I am hoping her mother will help her or I might have to speak with my mom to see what we can do. Because the end fact is I want her up there with me.
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    Also, does all the money have to be put down right now? Most stores do half now and the rest when it comes in.
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    I asked her that yea unfortuantaly It had to be paid for completely. I did find that odd but I have a feeling its because of the type of dress it is( she did explain i just cant remember). But they will also receive in a week rather than the bridesmaids dress where it would take 2 months.
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    I would sort of be upset if I were your bridesmaid, you can't expect anyone to have the money then and there just because you think they should have saved. You cant come up with the money because you are buying a house, life happens and you can't afford everything all the time, plus she may not have known she needed it all up front. I also would be offended that you chose such an expensive dress and then sounded very demanding, she basically had no say. I do however understand the anxiety you are under having all the dresses come in and going smoothly before they run out, but thinking about cutting a bridesmaid really is not the way to go. As mentioned above, she is a person, and it's just a piece of fabric (though I agree it is a very pretty piece of fabric). I hope you can come up with a creative way to work with her and also get all these dresses without any hassle
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-dresses-and-it-starts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:99d8c54e-2317-4989-876f-d967aafdef54Post:6f080d2e-f315-489d-89a9-0f232808e37c">Re: Bridesmaids dresses and it starts</a>:
    [QUOTE]First, it is a really cute dress, I love it, but it is definitely on the pricier side. I really dont think you should be saying "she should have been saving", it really isnt your business how someone spends their money and buying a dress for your wedding is probably not her top priority. If money is tight for her, $200 is a lot of money to shell out on a dress she is going to wear one time, as the bride, it is your responsibility to choose a dress that everyone can afford. I personally think it is wrong to toss someone out of a wedding party because they can't afford a pretty expensive dress that you chose. I personally have a BM that is having money problems, I flat out told her I would be happy to purchase the dress for her because that is how badly I want her to stand next to me on my day. However, it might not even come to that. One thing you could do is offer to front the money for the dress since it has to be ordered fairly soon and have her pay you back gradually. Please do not use your bridal party as accessories, they are people with feelings, and have a life way more important than your wedding, I think you could stand to be a little more sympathetic. I dont necessarily think you are overreacting, I think you failed to choose a dress all your girls could afford and you need to fix that mistake.
    Posted by sparkles776[/QUOTE]

    I have to agree with everything Sparkles has said.
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    Is there a reason why you have to order the dresses now? Especially since you mentioned that it only takes a week for the dresses to come in? Maybe you can just talk to your bridesmaid and see if she would be able to come up with the money at a later date? I understand how you feel, but I agree with the ladies above that your friend's feelings are more important than the dresses.
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    I agree 100% with Sparkles. Did you check with each of your bridesmaids to get an idea of their budget before looking at dresses?

    Please consider her feelings here...even if she was okay with a $200+ dress at the beginning of the summer, there's a very real possibility that she had unexpected expenses come up between now and then. Personally, I'd be very upset if I knew I had to chose between paying an unexpected bill or stepping down from someone's wedding party because I didn't have the cash at that very moment to order the dress. Like Sparkles said, can you offer to front the money for her or something? I understand that you're closing on a house shortly, but is there any way you can work something out?

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    MeghannsixMeghannsix member
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    edited September 2012
    Agree with Anastasiiat and MrsK, if they will only take a week, what's the hurry right now?  May would be crunch time with a delivery of this nature.

    Edit: annndddd, that is a bit pricey for that little slip of a dress.  It's very pretty, but I gotta tell you, I'd be a bit frustrated if I had to pay $200 for it.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_bridesmaids-dresses-and-it-starts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:99d8c54e-2317-4989-876f-d967aafdef54Post:97817df5-1767-45a7-be5c-603b4a2f0a23">Re: Bridesmaids dresses and it starts</a>:
    [QUOTE]Agree with Anastasiiat and MrsK, if they will only take a week, what's the hurry right now?  May would be crunch time with a delivery of this nature.<strong>Edit: annndddd, that is a bit pricey for that little slip of a dress.  It's very pretty, but I gotta tell you, I'd be a bit frustrated if I had to pay $200 for it.
    </strong>Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

    Not only do I agree with everyone else but I agree with this... There are plenty of beautiful dresses for much less than $200. You asked the girls to be in your wedding because they are important to you correct? You should take into consideration what they can all afford to spend. $200 is a lot for a dress they will wear once. My BMs were able to buy their dress, shoes, and sash for $150.  It's great that your other 2 girls were able to buy the dress already but I'm sure they were also thinking it's a lot of money to spend and were too embarrassed to tell you. Is it worth possibly losing a friend over?
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