August 2013 Weddings
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Nervous...

I am 18, My soon to be husband is 19 turning 20 in July. Everyone is calling us retarted for waiting to get married in August. We have been dating off and on for 2 years and no one is giving us a chance to be happy because people always get in the middle of our realationship. I don't know what to do :( Help?

Re: Nervous...

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    First off I hate the "R" word. Totally offensive towards people with disabilities and for even those who don't have them. It's just inappropriate.

    Secondly, are they concerned because of your age?? Believe it or not they are just trying to look out for you. I'm not saying you two aren't meant to be together, but what is the rush right now?? You have your whole life ahead of you, why not enjoy your early 20's then have a wedding. A marriage is a HUGE deal. Do you think you are both mature enough for a lifetime commitment right now? The fact that you are that concerned with what people think tells me no.  I dated a guy for 7 1/2 years from the time I was 15 to 22. Believe me if anyone thought we were going to beat the odds it was us. Are we still together? Absolutely not. If we would have gotten married it would have been the worst mistake of my life and I would have already been divorced at 23. You change SO much as a person in your early 20's. Please consider waiting on the wedding until your are both older and more mature.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2013-weddings_nervous-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:0c4df628-5c86-4382-8f99-5d75e3f57aa4Discussion:e016caa9-66cb-4871-bcd8-16be77d0e3cbPost:41847f0a-cbaa-4642-95a3-40d2619da16c">Re: Nervous...</a>:
    [QUOTE]First off I hate the "R" word. Totally offensive towards people with disabilities and for even those who don't have them. It's just inappropriate. Secondly, are they concerned because of your age?? Believe it or not they are just trying to look out for you. I'm not saying you two aren't meant to be together, but what is the rush right now?? You have your whole life ahead of you, why not enjoy your early 20's then have a wedding. A marriage is a HUGE deal. Do you think you are both mature enough for a lifetime commitment right now? The fact that you are that concerned with what people think tells me no.  I dated a guy for 7 1/2 years from the time I was 15 to 22. Believe me if anyone thought we were going to beat the odds it was us. Are we still together? Absolutely not. If we would have gotten married it would have been the worst mistake of my life and I would have already been divorced at 23. You change SO much as a person in your early 20's. Please consider waiting on the wedding until your are both older and more mature.
    Posted by rel1988[/QUOTE]

    I second Rel. I dated the same guy all through HS. We were together from 15-18, broke up for about 6-7 months. Got back together for a little over a year, and I was convinced that; "Oh we broke up and now we're back together, that we were meant to be." Absolutely NOT. I would have been making a huge mistake had him and I kept it going and went further with the relationship. Not saying that you are making a mistake, but what's the rush? It almost sounded as if your families wanted you guys to get married sooner than August by the way you worded your original post. 
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    I strongly agree with the previous posters. Your use of the R word shows your lack of maturity & the fact that you have been "off and on" for the last 2 years is a huge concern. Why rush into a marriage? If your going to be together forever anyway, wait. Have you considered that people are brining up that you shouldnt get married for a reason?
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    I understand both sides. Both my FI and I are 21. He will be 22 when we get married. We have been together over 4 years. Yes we dated in high school, but it was only the last 3 months of our SR year. I dated somebody else all through out high school and that ended awful. I can see your point where you want to be together and get married. But why not wait a little longer? I was your age when we got engaged and we will have almost a 2 year engagement by the time we get married. I do not regret waiting this long. It will be nice to be almost done with school when we get married. 

    I also see everybody elses side. The fact that you have been on and off again for two years is a little concerning no matter how old you are. 

    My suggestion would be to have a longer engagement. Like the PP said? What's the rush if you're going to be together forever anyway?
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    I got married when I was 22, and I still think that was too young. It lasted 6 months, which was embarrassing and painful. People change so much in their 20s! I realize this isn't going to change your plans, but just a cautionary tale.
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