Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

Flaky ppl are stressing me out / long rant

I appologize in advance for the long rant, but I just needed to vent.

So, here're the wedding frustrations. My friend is getting married in Sept, I'm getting married in June. Her FI was going to be one of our GM, and my FI was going to be one of their GM. A cpl months ago, friend's FI called my FI to tell him my FI is no longer in their wedding party. A little annoying, but no big deal, less money we have to spend on not having to worry about renting a tux for my FI at their wedding. So, I had sent out texts to all GM end of Jan telling them the info on where we're renting tuxes from & when to get fitted. No one got fitted by the date I gave. So, I sent out a reminder text for GM to get fitted. My friend texts me back, saying she thought her FI wasn't going to be one of our GM (since my FI isn't one of theirs anymore)... but we never discussed that... I'm not a mind-reader. Anyway, she says she can't afford it. Okay, so one less GM I guess. Still kinda annoyed that they just "assumed" her FI was out of GM duties. If that's what they thought, they really should've mentioned something sooner, like when I sent out the first text about GM info... Oh, well, moving on.

Second grievance is my FBIL. He is the Best Man & his daughters (ages 5&6) are supposed to be our flower girls. So, I worked hard to find a really deal on FG dresses. The cheapest ones at DB were $110. I found some cute tutu-style dresses on Etsy for $55 (this took some searching to find them this cheap). We're having the BMs wear TOMS, so I thought it'd be nice to have the FG wear TOMS shoes too. These are $42, so less cheap, but it's a good cause, since a pair is donated to a child in need for every pair bought. I sent him the info on dresses & shoes & asked if this was okay. He said yes. (I would've understood if doing the shoes too would be too expensive for him, and other shoes would have been fine). So, I asked him to order the dresses by March 15, since they are being hand-made, and order the shoes by April 1. A couple days past the dress deadline, I haven't heard anything, so I reached out to remind him. At this point, after the deadline, he tells me he's not comfortable with the dresses, since they are halter-style (ties behind the back of the neck). If this is the case, he really should've mentioned that BEFORE the deadline... So, I talk to the seller on Etsy, explaining the situation, and she said she can add some cap sleeves to make FBIL happy. I send him a pic, FBIL says that's fine. I also told him I need their measurements to give the seller, since she is creating a special listing for him. When he got back to me, he didn't give me the measurements, just said he's just waiting to have the money. He still could've gotten me the measurements, as the wedding is 2 months away... So, another wk or so passes, and now it's 2 wks past the original deadline, and we haven't gotten the measurement or heard anything, so we reach out again. This time he says he was waiting on giving the measurements since the girls are growing a lot. Come on. It's 2 months away. The dresses are hand-made and take a while to come in, so if you really think they're gonna grow, add an inch or something, but we need to get this stuff ordered already! Of course, we aren't rude or anything, but FI is just kinda done with it at this point, just like, "whatever." Then FBIL texts him saying, "Just so you know, you guys are having me spend $300 on this wedding." If it's a money issue, let us know, and maybe your girls don't have to be FG, but if that's the problem, COMMUNICATE it with us, not just way past deadlines.

Ugh. Sorry, I know this was a long rant... I'm just sick of ppl being flaky. Had to get that out.

Re: Flaky ppl are stressing me out / long rant

  • Yeah I agree they should have all handled it better. Sorry you're having to deal with that. If money was the problem, they should have said so. This is why I had a small wedding party. :)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_flaky-ppl-are-stressing-me-out-long-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:0ff99dcd-3ffb-496f-bcbd-86f2669710dePost:22f4b2f5-fe25-4a00-835f-af03ecf664d8">Re: Flaky ppl are stressing me out / long rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah I agree they should have all handled it better. Sorry you're having to deal with that. If money was the problem, they should have said so. This is why I had a small wedding party. :)
    Posted by stephiehall[/QUOTE]

    THANK YOU! I'm honestly wondering if we should just skip on having FGs at this point. It's kinda late to ask someone from my family to sub in, as I understand they might not be able to come up with the money on short notice. I just wish they'd told me sooner, and I could've asked someone in my family, but I feel it's kinda too late now... Oh well, if we don't have any FGs, it's really not the end of the world. It's just frustrating when people don't communicate, that's all.
  • I agree that both groups of people handled this wrong.  Especially the first story - totally RUDE to fire someone from the BP.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • We didn't have kids in our WP, save for our neice and nephew who helped bring the gifts for communion.  I think it's way less stressful that way for everyone involved.  The last wedding I was at with a ring bearer, the little boy got bored and HURLED the antique ring pillow (that had apparently been in the groom's family for generations) across the front of the church.  No harm done but I think a lot of us in the WP were pretty startled.

    I'm sorry it wasn't handled better.  =(
    Anniversary

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  • LynnJaredLynnJared member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    edited March 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_flaky-ppl-are-stressing-me-out-long-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:0ff99dcd-3ffb-496f-bcbd-86f2669710dePost:9efe0822-3674-45a8-a21f-4538964ed568">Re: Flaky ppl are stressing me out / long rant</a>:
    [QUOTE]We didn't have kids in our WP, save for our neice and nephew who helped bring the gifts for communion.  I think it's way less stressful that way for everyone involved.  The last wedding I was at with a ring bearer, the little boy got bored and HURLED the antique ring pillow (that had apparently been in the groom's family for generations) across the front of the church.  No harm done but I think a lot of us in the WP were pretty startled. I'm sorry it wasn't handled better.  =(
    Posted by professorscience[/QUOTE]

    Oh my goodness, yeah that's crazy that the kid did that. That's why I didn't ask my nieces, because they are a little too young. My brother got married a yr ago, and his daughter (now 4) was a FG, and she isn't the best behaved child, and just wants attention, so she wouldn't just stay put up there, she was playing around and stuff, and my other brother's daughter (now 3) was also supposed to be a FG for their wedding, but she is really shy, so they ended up not getting her to walk down the isle (after some effort and coaxing to no avail). That's why we asked FI's nieces, since they're 5 & 6 & pretty well-behaved, we figured they'd be perfect, but now I'm thinking we'll just have to go without. I feel like though FMIL will find out & try to pay for the FGs stuff, but I don't know. Sigh. I'm glad everyone here understands that I'm not mad about them not being able to afford it, I'm upset that they said it in a rude way (making us feel bad about it) and I'm mostly upset about the lack of communication, that they should've told us this sooner. Anyway, thanks for letting me rant. Been having a stressful week! I feel a little better now though :).
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