So lately BF and I have been discussing moving in together and marriage quite often lately. Actually, I would say it's been a nonstop topic for the past week or two.
I want to move in with him but I am hesitant to do so because my family will be strongly against it. I spoke to my parents about the fact that we were talking about moving in together and they were NOT happy. My dad actually said "I would rather you go to the courthouse tomorrow and get married THEN move in. Why can't you do that?"
I am actually fine with this idea. I don't NEED a big wedding. Plus my best friend and her husband got married at a JOP and they are still happily married. They did it that way because they couldn't afford a bigger wedding. And it suited them just fine.
But BF is adamant and refuses to even entertain the idea of a courthouse wedding. He said "We can do better than that." He also said that courthouse weddings are trashy and have Vegas connotations. He thinks it's ridiculous that my parents want us to go to a JOP before moving in together. He also says that in his family, courthouse weddings are considered tacky and if we got married at a courthouse, it would be scandalous in his family.
So obviously our families are very, very different.
Anyway, I got a little offended at BF's view of courthouse weddings. To me, they are NOT trashy. My own best friend got married at a courthouse, for God's sake!
But I feel that he is biased against them because one of his best friends did a JOP wedding to a woman that he can't stand. None of his friends can stand the woman. They all refer to her as "Whore" and refuse to call her by her real name.
My point is, I think he's biased because of his friend's horrible marriage. And the fact that his family would apparently be against the idea.
Anyway, I told him that people get married at a courthouse for all kinds of reasons. Some can't afford a bigger wedding. Some don't want the attention or fuss of a big wedding. Some want to get married right away and start their lives together.
But even after I explained all this to him, he still refuses to budge. I just want him to realize that courthouse weddings are not trashy!
I'm not even saying that I want to get married at one. I'm fine with waiting for a bigger wedding. I would never pressure him to have a courthouse wedding if he didn't want one. I'm honestly open to any kind of wedding. To me, it's not about the wedding. A wedding is just one day. I just want to be married to him.
So please, help me come up with the right words. How can I convince BF that his view on courthouse weddings are wrong? It's a little offensive to me that he feels that way because my best friend got married at one. And also because I wouldn't mind getting married at a courthouse if it meant that we could start our life together that much sooner.