Hello fellow brides, I'm going to try to make this short! So my fiance has two sisters. I asked them both to be bridesmaids a year ago, literally five minutes after we got engaged. They were so excited and helped me pick out the dresses, etc. At the time, I was super close to both of them. I have always loved his family and they have always loved me, but lately I have gotten strange vibes. My fiance's father has just come back into the picture, so obviously he does not know the details of our situation. He and my dad finally met, and during their conversation my dad got the vibe that his father thinks I am taking advantage of his son because I am still in school and not working, while his son is working 60+ hours a week to pay for our wedding. I can definitely understand this from an outsider's point of view, but I am in a very difficult engineering program and was failing my classes while trying to work at the same time, and we both came to the consensus that it would be better for me to not have a job while I finish school. However, what nobody knows is that I had quite a bit of money saved up prior to the wedding and used all the extras from my students loans to help pay for it, so in the end, we have both contributed equally.
Moving on, my fiance's oldest sister is extremely protective over the family because of what they have been through over the years, and I think she is starting to feel the same way as her father. Every time I try to talk to her about the wedding, she acts like she doesn't want to hear it. I paid for BOTH of their bridesmaid dresses AND shoes because they couldn't afford it. Now, we are planning my bachelorette party, and they are saying they can't come because, again, they can't afford it. Now, I understand one of them can't because she's 16, but the older one is 22 and works full time while living with her mom. She is notorious for spending frivolously, and it never bothered me until now. Am I wrong to think she isn't putting enough effort into this? I don't care about the money, I just feel like she doesn't care enough to be there. Two of the other girls attending are coming from out of state and are in just as bad of a financial situation. The sister and I used to be so close, but now I am closer to her sister. She just told me she wouldn't be able to make the party this morning, and we kind of got into it over text messaging. I expressed my concerns about everyone's misconceptions of my relationship with my fiance, and she was just kind of bitchy about the whole thing. Meanwhile, my maid of honor and best friend is pissed because she thinks I shouldn't put up with this. The people who agreed to be in my bridal party should WANT to be in it. And I KNOW if this was one of my FSIL's friends' bachelorette, she would be there in a heartbeat.
We planned the party for after my shower, so we wouldn't even be going out to dinner. We got a $225 hotel room in New Orleans (we live about an hour away), and we just plan on having a good time. We have five or six other girls attending, so the cost of the hotel room would be less than $50 per person. Is this too much?! The last bachelorette party I attended, I spent $100+! I definitely was not in a financial position to do that, and I wasn't even a bridesmaid, but I did it because the bride was a good friend.
My maid of honor thinks I should kick her out of the bridal party. I paid for her dress and shoes and drove an hour out of my way to pick up her dress for her because she "didn't have time." Every time I come in town, I try to get together with her, but she is always "busy." I end up hanging out with her little sister, who honestly acts more mature. Her sister has been more than supportive and has even tried to give me her Christmas/babysitting money to pay for her dress! I hate to say this because we used to be so close, but I honestly don't want this girl in my wedding anymore, but the last thing I want to do is start unnecessary drama with someone who will be in my life forever, and I don't want to be ostracized by the rest of my fiance's family!
HELP! What should I do?!?