Can I change my mind about having a Bridal Party? Sorry it's long

SouthernSwag · May 2013

RetreadBride said:

I think you've been reading too many wedding websites and bridal magazines. The only thing a bride should do with those lists of bridesmaid duties is throw them in the trash. The industry publishes those to make the bride think THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF YOUR LIFE and convince her friends they're bad friends if they don't do certain things.

Here's why: they want your friends to believe they must buy matching dresses, shoes, jewelry, evening wraps and purses so they'll look good for the bride's photos. They must host a bridal shower and buy the bride a nice gift, and chip in for a group gift. They must host a bachelorette party and purchase a wedding gift, and chip in for a group gift.

Do you see where I'm going with this? All that pumps more money back into the wedding industry.

There IS a person who is supposed to help the bride plan her wedding. HER FIANCE. She's marrying him, not her bridesmaids.

The tradition of bridesmaids is rooted in superstition. Her friends went with her to church to confuse watching demons about her identity, so her marriage couldn't be cursed. Over time it evolved into a way to honor special people - the ones she wouldn't dream of not having beside her as she began this new part of her life.

Helping the bride plan the wedding was NEVER a tradition, because it was the bride's FAMILY who paid for and planned the wedding!

Congratulations. You just told your friends and family that your One Perfect Day is more important than your years of friendship with them, and that your friendship comes with a price tag attached....you pick people because of what you think they can do for you. You've got a lot of fence-mending to do.

Maybe your right I have read too many magazines. They all went in the trash. My 2 friends are the only ones in the bridal party who actually care. The other people don't mean anything to me. I don't expect them to jump through hoops and plan my wedding. But I do expect a return phone call or text reply or even a email when asking for info on sizing. Especially since for several of the girls I was buying the dresses for them. I never picked anyone because of what they could do for me. I asked his sister in law because his mother wanted it. She offered to help then I asked for help and she is now too busy smoking weed and watching movies to help. Fine its not a big deal but the dress size is a big deal. My feelings are hurt. I don't have but 2 friends in my wedding everyone else is his mom's choice and his. And when those people can't be bothered to return any of our calls its not acceptable in our book.
As for me telling my friends and family anything. I didn't My family is dead all of them. Killed when I was little. My 2 friends understand. His friends well they still don't care neither do his brothers. To this day they only call him when they need something. So I didn't tell my family and friends my day is more important than all of these years that do not exist.
I don't think people should offer to help you then when you ask you are putting them out. Next time they need babysitters and yard work and cooking done they can call someone who cares.

SouthernSwag · May 2013

Maggie0829 said:

OP, why don't you just cancel your wedding and go elope in Vegas. No bridal party, no family you hate, no friends you hate. Easy peasy.

We have paid for everything here and now that the dead weight is gone things are great. Its amazing what changes when you get rid of the druggies and losers. Wish I would have know they were like that before we asked. I would have made many different decisions.

SouthernSwag · May 2013

TXKristan said:

SouthernSwag, how old are you ... just curious

Old enough to know that if doing drugs is more important than replying to us about suits and dresses, than I don't need those people around me.

Peledreamsofrain · May 2013

Post removed due to GBCK

Viczaesar · May 2013

Oy vey.

Dreamergirl8812 · May 2013

This whole thing is weird. You've never met your fiance's friends? Both you and your fiance dumped and suddenly got "real" friends in the span of what, like a day?

You put everyone in the wedding because you wanted to make them happy, even at the expense of your own happiness, then you kicked them out of the wedding?