Help rallying the bridesmaids?

arice3372

Hi Ladies - 

A rather new predicament to me, I'm in one of my best friend's wedding this spring and we're going to be throwing her bachelorette this weekend...or so I thought.  Sadly, there are 6 of us bridesmaids and NONE of us live in the same city....and 2 live out of country, so needless to say it was a challenge trying to coordinate period.  Well, no one seems to be at all interested, no one has offered suggestions when I ask for them, and when I try delegating they seem to feel it interferes with their lives.  So after much deliberation we settled on this weekend for the bachelorette and suddenly 2 of them can't make it the whole time because they were 1)confused and 2)had another event come up.  I have been doing my utmost to include everyone but they all seem so disconnected...do you have any ideas how I can rally the troops and still make this special for our bride?  Do you have any brilliant game ideas too?  I understand more with the people coming from out of the US, but the rest I almost feel like they have no idea what an honor it is to be a bridesmaid and what it does (or should) entail.

artbyallie

They are not required to participate.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-rallying-the-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8850af62-a5c2-4f16-bbab-20d3f0f5326ePost:c1c5449c-20d6-4631-b4f3-f086ee59739b">Help rallying the bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi Ladies -  A rather new predicament to me, I'm in one of my best friend's wedding this spring and we're going to be throwing her bachelorette this weekend...or so I thought.  Sadly, there are 6 of us bridesmaids and NONE of us live in the same city....and 2 live out of country, so needless to say it was a challenge trying to coordinate period.  <strong>Well, no one seems to be at all interested, no one has offered suggestions when I ask for them, and when I try delegating they seem to feel it interferes with their lives.  So</strong> after much deliberation we settled on this weekend for the bachelorette and suddenly 2 of them can't make it the whole time because they were 1)confused and 2)had another event come up.  I have been doing my utmost to include everyone but they all seem so disconnected...do you have any ideas how I can rally the troops and still make this special for our bride?  Do you have any brilliant game ideas too?  I understand more with the people coming from out of the US, <strong>but the rest I almost feel like they have no idea what an honor it is to be a bridesmaid and what it does (or should) entail.</strong>
Posted by arice3372[/QUOTE]

You should not be delegating things to the BMs if they have no interest in participating in the bachelorette or throwing one. Just because they are a BM, they are not required to throw a b-party. It is not a requirement for the bride to even HAVE a b-party. If you want to throw her one, that is awesome, but you shouldn't expect the BMs to help. If they obviously don't seem interested in helping, I would just drop it, plan it yourself, and just invite them. They can still come if they want.

It is an honor to be a BM and that means it should not be work. Being a BM "entails" buying the agreed-upon dress and showing up on the wedding day for pictures and to stand up next to the bride in the ceremony. That's what it entails. It does not entail throwing showers or b-parties unless the BMs CHOOSE to do that as a bonus. Please stop bothering the BMs about the b-party. If you sent a couple e-mails asking for suggestions and got none, i would've dropped it as they were obviously not interested.

MuppetFan

If no one else is interested in participating, take the bride  yourself and just have a great time out together...do something special

Sierra524

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-rallying-the-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8850af62-a5c2-4f16-bbab-20d3f0f5326ePost:2b92b0c2-7065-4b62-bbee-2e9807048b83">Re: Help rallying the bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Help rallying the bridesmaids? : You should not be delegating things to the BMs if they have no interest in participating in the bachelorette or throwing one. Just because they are a BM, they are not required to throw a b-party. It is not a requirement for the bride to even HAVE a b-party. If you want to throw her one, that is awesome, but you shouldn't expect the BMs to help. If they obviously don't seem interested in helping, I would just drop it, plan it yourself, and just invite them. They can still come if they want. It is an honor to be a BM and that means it should not be work. Being a BM "entails" buying the agreed-upon dress and showing up on the wedding day for pictures and to stand up next to the bride in the ceremony. That's what it entails. It does not entail throwing showers or b-parties unless the BMs CHOOSE to do that as a bonus. Please stop bothering the BMs about the b-party. If you sent a couple e-mails asking for suggestions and got none, i would've dropped it as they were obviously not interested.
Posted by Summer2011Bride[/QUOTE]

All of this.

erinlin25

does the bride have other friends that are not BMs?  It does not just have to be the bridesmaids going to the bachelorette.  And PPs are correct that they technically do not have to go to the bachelorette party.  Yes, it would be nice for them to go, but if its not their thing, its not their thing.  One of my bridesmaids does not drink and so she told me she does not feel comfortable going to the bachelorette party.  I would have liked for her to come and do the spa day stuff (since I know she enjoys those things) but she declined, and that is OK.  If they wouldn't have fun you probably do not want them there anyway! 

Talk to the bride and see if there are other girls she would like to invite; if not, the two of you can have a fun girls day just the two of you.  As for games, I personally am not a fan of games at a bachelorette party.  The only time we played a game at a bachelorette party was like a bingo game of some sort but we did not pay much attention to it, so It just fizzled out.  I have seem some scavenger hunt type things that could be fun, but just make sure the things the bride has to do she is comfortable doing.   

wittykitty14

I like the suggestion of just hanging out with the bride yourself.  A bachelorette party is not required by any means.  It's another gift to the bride.  If other bridesmaids are unable/don't want to participate, then it doesn't happen.  Because no one is from the same area, I think the best you can to is maybe a small, low-key get together when everyone is up for the wedding.

emopny

Write them a beautiful poem on really expensive cardstock.  Maybe a cute little contract they can sign to agree to their duties? 

Make it pretty!

speshlsnowflAkE

Oooh!  I like the poem and contract idea! Maybe they just don't understand how important this is!

LiASpitsSunshinE

Jus keep insisting they participate. Mandatory fun is the most fun!

sarahbear32

Remind them that if they don't make arrangements to come, then they are BAD FRIENDS.

imAprEttyprincess

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-rallying-the-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8850af62-a5c2-4f16-bbab-20d3f0f5326ePost:8c851210-2f93-4074-be01-39e4e9e53a81">Re: Help rallying the bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Remind them that if they don't make arrangements to come, then they are BAD FRIENDS.
Posted by TexAsPrincEss00[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think this is a bit harsh, but I do think that a less direct tactic of reminding them how much the bride loves them and is counting on them and how sad and hurt she will be and that she counts them as her closest friends in the whole world might get the same message across, without you sounding like a witch-with-a-b.

</div>

Peledreamsofrain

Omg TexasPrincess your signature is sooooooo pretty!

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-rallying-the-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8850af62-a5c2-4f16-bbab-20d3f0f5326ePost:8c851210-2f93-4074-be01-39e4e9e53a81">Re: Help rallying the bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]Remind them that if they don't make arrangements to come, then they are BAD FRIENDS.
Posted by TexAsPrincEss00[/QUOTE]

OP, this is bad advice, don't listen.

zitiqueen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_help-rallying-the-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8850af62-a5c2-4f16-bbab-20d3f0f5326ePost:46851133-9d5a-45b6-abe0-3142830e3dba">Re: Help rallying the bridesmaids?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help rallying the bridesmaids? : OP, this is bad advice, don't listen.
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

::facepalm::

Do you own a calendar?