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Non traditional bridesmaids

Need some ideas for what to call my non-traditional bridesmaids.

Basically, I have just a few ladies who are going to be more involved than every other wedding guest, they'll be helping me plan, doing the shower and bach party, etc :) We aren't having bridesmaids or groomsmen but I want to recognize them with some kind of name.

On one blog someone called them the Bridal Brigade - which is cute! I'm just looking for some other ideas that might work too!


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Re: Non traditional bridesmaids

  • You can publicly recognize them by making them bridesmaids or ask them to do a reading at your ceremony.  If neither of those options appeal to you, get each friend a special present--shop for them like it's their birthdays--and write each a heartfelt thank-you card.  Let them know you appreciate them taking time and money out of their lives to help you with your wedding, and let them each know what they mean to you as friends.  
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:cc9e740e-2273-417b-915a-ac889e1c1770">Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Need some ideas for what to call my non-traditional bridesmaids. Basically, I have just a few ladies who are going to be more involved than every other wedding guest, they'll be helping me plan, doing the shower and bach party, etc :) We aren't having bridesmaids or groomsmen but I want to recognize them with some kind of name. On one blog someone called them the Bridal Brigade - which is cute! I'm just looking for some other ideas that might work too!
    Posted by MichelleMS4[/QUOTE]
    If they are not standing up with you, they are not any kind of bridesmaids. There is no such thing as a "non traditional bridesmaid." What should you call them?  Guests. <div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    [Deleted User]ohannabelle
  • Why do you not want a bridal party, but want a "Bridal Brigade"??  Whats the difference?
    [Deleted User]
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:601b63d9-168b-4c54-bd47-ddf7ff124c69">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why do you not want a bridal party, but want a "Bridal Brigade"??  Whats the difference?
    Posted by aRachel21[/QUOTE]

    I would like to know this also.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    [Deleted User]
  • Wedding workerbees.  To me, it just sounds like they're helping you do your dirty work and giving you the (not required) parties that bridesmaids often do.  Hey, if they offer and are genuinely happy to help you do this, then fine.  

    If I were helping out with some behind-the-scenes work and wouldn't be able to stand up there during the ceremony, I wouldn't want any attention drawn to me.  I'd know that I'm just a guest who helped out the bride.  For me, I would just appreciate a heartfelt thank you card.
  • Really Good Friends
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

    [Deleted User]ohannabelle
  • Thank you to the ladies that have given some thoughtful suggestions. :)

    Things don't always have to be cookie cutter. Often times, the uniqueness of something is what makes it so special. So to those that don't understand the idea of a non-traditional bridesmaid, check out this article, it should help : http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/08/bridesmaid-alternatives-a-compendium/

    Cervantes17arl1174awilson6833
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 Exit 21 (Jersey!) member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:e212caf4-842a-4221-a12a-336630da6d4b">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you to the ladies that have given some thoughtful suggestions. :) Things don't always have to be cookie cutter. Often times, the uniqueness of something is what makes it so special. So to those that don't understand the idea of a non-traditional bridesmaid, check out this article, it should help :  <a href="http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/08/bridesmaid-alternatives-a-compendium/" rel="nofollow">http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/08/bridesmaid-alternatives-a-compendium/</a>
    Posted by MichelleMS4[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I still don't understand why you wouldn't have a wedding party if these people are helping you out and mean so much to you.  They don't have to follow the tradition of wearing similar dresses or whatever.   If you still insist on not having them next to you, they simply are "guests".</div><div>
    </div>
    [Deleted User]
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:e212caf4-842a-4221-a12a-336630da6d4b">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you to the ladies that have given some thoughtful suggestions. :) Things don't always have to be cookie cutter. Often times, the uniqueness of something is what makes it so special. So to those that don't understand the idea of a non-traditional bridesmaid, check out this article, it should help :  <a href="http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/08/bridesmaid-alternatives-a-compendium/" rel="nofollow">http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/08/bridesmaid-alternatives-a-compendium/</a>
    Posted by MichelleMS4[/QUOTE]

    "non-traditional bridesmaid" you just wrote. That's what they are, what you just called them: bridesmaid.
    [Deleted User]
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    There's nothing unique about treating your friends as unpaid labor and half-assedly recognizing them at the wedding, unfortunately.



  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    We understand what they are. People come around here all the time asking this same question. We're trying to tell you it's bullsh!t.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    lauracutter
  • Ok I also looked at that website, and I had to stop. It's awful! OP, please don't take advice from this blog. You don't need anyone to help out with your wedding except your fianc. If you need additional help, then hire a wedding planner or coordinator.
  • Everyone thinks that they are suuuuuuuuuuuper special and unique.  Guess what?  Nobody is SO special and unique that it excuses them from treating their friends well.

    If you want to mine your friends for free labor, and then toss them a half-arse bone of a title as a pity prize, go for it.  The internet is chaulk full of bad ideas that you can dig up to validate yourself.  I could find you an article that told me it was totes moral to kill random people that cut in front of me in the grocery store.

    Doesn't make it right.

    Treat your friends right.  That's all we're saying.  If that rubs you the wrong way, there's nothing we can do to help.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:8550c883-cb13-481b-860e-4d939def7e75">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's nothing unique about treating your friends as unpaid labor and half-assedly recognizing them at the wedding, unfortunately.
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

    hit the nail on the head.

    Don't get me wrong, OP - if my bff decided she wasn't having a bridal party I'd still offer to throw her a b-party and would volunteer to help her if she needed anything, but a fake title wouldn't make me feel special.  And your OP sounds like you're recruiting people to be part of this 'bridal brigade' and asking people to plan your wedding / throw you parties is not OK, regardless of how you ask them.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Dude, advertizing fail.  Go away, vendor.



  • Any website that uses the word c you n t is not a website that I'd like to endorse (it's on their "about us!" section).
    [Deleted User]
  • What's this about "feminist non-conforming bridal party"?  I started reading this article to see what this was about, but this phrase is throwing me through a loop.  Is having a bridal party anti-feminist?  What are the sources for this statement? 

    I think, OP, to answer your question we might need more info.  Is there a particular reason you aren't having a bridal party?  There's nothing wrong with not having a bridal party.  And just because these girls are helping you with your wedding doesn't make them "non-traditional bridesmaids", since bridesmaids don't technically have anything they have to do except show up in the dress.  I would just not give them any title, but definitely give them thank you cards and a small gift when all is said and done since they are helping you out. 
    imageimage
  • Salsera29Salsera29 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    That blog: "YO ladies, we're so hip and cool let's not have bridesmaids. Let's make our good friends work for us and do everything bridesmaids traditionally do. But we're WAAYYYY to quirky and offbeat to call them BRIDESMAIDS, that's just too...shudder... traDITIONal. Let's give them a super funky new names so they will in no way be mistaken for bridesmaids. Which they are."
    [Deleted User]
  • See, this is something I don't get: why does everyone want to make their nearest and dearest work for them? Like, if the people you're asking to be in your WP are so important, why are you handing them jobs? That makes no sense...you love these people and are trying to honor them. Never have I considered a full to-do list or no Saturdays to myself an honor. That being said, I also don't get the aversion to calling someone a bridesmaid, but I can understand why it might be difficult to have bridesmaids in some cases (for instance, if not asking someone to be a BM would cause WWIII and you don't want that person). But then, you just don't *have* bridesmaids, which is totally fine. You don't need them and you don't need BS titles for the also-rans.
    [Deleted User]
  • Wow - no idea this was such a hot button. 

    My opinion: tradition, ettiquite and all the other "rules" are open to interpretation of the bride.

    For some brides, something blue isn't something they wear or have, its blue bridesmaid's dresses, or blue flowers or blue decor. Ever seen "Made Of Honor" with Patrick Dempsey - the MOH was a man - traditional? No. Wrong to do? Of course not!

    Weather those that have already replied to this post understand it or not, some people - like myself - aren't interested in following tradition to the T. I respect traditions, but many aren't for me.
    It's not about being a feminist (which I'm not), making my nearest and dearest work for me (there's a different bw working for you, and helping you) or thinking I'm super special (which actually, every bride should feel) - its just about doing things a little differently, that we think is more "us".

    Bridesmaids don't HAVE to just be the women that stand next to you at the alter.
    When someone is asked to be a bridesmaid, to me, it means that the woman means so much to that bride that its important to the bride that she be a part of the wedding process, not just the event. Because that woman's opinions and input matter and because it would only make the process more special and enjoyable to have that woman there throughout the whole thing, not just to walk down the aisle. To me, walking down the aisle and wearing a certain color dress are the least important things.

    I created the original post to get ideas from others that might have done something similar. Obviously its a non-traditional idea, proven by the fact that, none of those that have replied have done it. So again, thanks to those of you who offered some constructive opinions - you've given me some stuff to think about. To those who were a bit more ... snarky ... there's a while board on TK just for you! Enjoy it! :)






    arl1174karishafer
  • ^^ oh, for heaven's sake. ^^
    kns1988
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:c049f5db-c5a3-4dec-917b-429ac99d0c6d">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow - no idea this was such a hot button.  My opinion: tradition, ettiquite and all the other "rules" are open to interpretation of the bride. For some brides, something blue isn't something they wear or have, its blue bridesmaid's dresses, or blue flowers or blue decor. Ever seen "Made Of Honor" with Patrick Dempsey - the MOH was a man - traditional? No. Wrong to do? Of course not! Weather those that have already replied to this post understand it or not, some people - like myself - aren't interested in following tradition to the T. I respect traditions, but many aren't for me. It's not about being a feminist (which I'm not), making my nearest and dearest work for me (there's a different bw working for you, and helping you) or thinking I'm super special (which actually, every bride should feel) - its just about doing things a little differently, that we think is more "us". Bridesmaids don't HAVE to just be the women that stand next to you at the alter. When someone is asked to be a bridesmaid, to me, it means that the woman means so much to that bride that its important to the bride that she be a part of the wedding process, not just the event. Because that woman's opinions and input matter and because it would only make the process more special and enjoyable to have that woman there throughout the whole thing, not just to walk down the aisle. To me, walking down the aisle and wearing a certain color dress are the least important things. I created the original post to get ideas from others that might have done something similar. Obviously its a non-traditional idea, proven by the fact that, none of those that have replied have done it. So again, thanks to those of you who offered some constructive opinions - you've given me some stuff to think about. To those who were a bit more ... snarky ... there's a while board on TK just for you! Enjoy it! :)
    Posted by MichelleMS4[/QUOTE]
    You do realize that tradition and etiquette are two different things, yes? 



    ohannabelle
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2013
    My husband's best man was a woman, so, yeah, I get not everything is cookie cutter. Nobody is saying you have to do everything in a traditional way, but needing a cute name to call your friends who are helping you is just silly. They are your friends, and they are wedding guests. No other titles necessary. Give them a corsage to wear if you want. Take pics with them if you want. Super duper. But again, a cutesy title is not necessary.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    ohannabelle
  • I skimmed through the blog and read a few paragraphs, and I agree with aRachel that it's so bad, I had to stop reading.  It's basically saying that it's ok to enlist your friends to help you (which means you asking them, it doesn't say anything about them offering to help), and make them do all the crap many girls don't even want to do as a bridesmaid in the first place, then NOT honor them by calling them bridesmaids (you get to be my b!ch, but you're not special enough to stand up with my at my wedding or even sit in the front row with my family).  It's like the brides think they're doing their friends a favor by "allowing" them to help out and come to dress fittings and listen to the bride moan about wedding details, but it's ok because at least they don't have to stand up next to me on my wedding day!  Because, you know, that's the worst part of being a BM. I think a little piece of me died reading that blog.
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:c049f5db-c5a3-4dec-917b-429ac99d0c6d">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow - no idea this was such a hot button.  My opinion: tradition, ettiquite and all the other "rules" are open to interpretation of the bride. <strong>For some brides, something blue isn't something they wear or have, its blue bridesmaid's dresses, or blue flowers or blue decor. Ever seen "Made Of Honor" with Patrick Dempsey - the MOH was a man - traditional? No. Wrong to do? Of course not! </strong>Weather those that have already replied to this post understand it or not, some people - like myself - aren't interested in following tradition to the T. I respect traditions, but many aren't for me. It's not about being a feminist (which I'm not), making my nearest and dearest work for me (there's a different bw working for you, and helping you) or thinking I'm super special (which actually, every bride should feel) - its just about doing things a little differently, that we think is more "us". Bridesmaids don't HAVE to just be the women that stand next to you at the alter. When someone is asked to be a bridesmaid, to me, it means that the woman means so much to that bride that its important to the bride that she be a part of the wedding process, not just the event. Because that woman's opinions and input matter and because it would only make the process more special and enjoyable to have that woman there throughout the whole thing, not just to walk down the aisle. To me, walking down the aisle and wearing a certain color dress are the least important things. I created the original post to get ideas from others that might have done something similar. Obviously its a non-traditional idea, proven by the fact that, none of those that have replied have done it. So again, thanks to those of you who offered some constructive opinions - you've given me some stuff to think about. To those who were a bit more ... snarky ... there's a while board on TK just for you! Enjoy it! :)
    Posted by MichelleMS4[/QUOTE]

    To the bolded: exactly. Quirky and non-traditional are totally different from being condescending and rude to the people you care about most on this earth.

    ETA: Ooops, commented before I realized it was a vendor/troll.

    ETA: Wow that is a terrible blog. But, I looked up the See You Next Tuesday reference and had to point something out. That word used to be a description of a woman's feminine parts. It was not derogatory and was not offensive or insulting. Just saying, that's what she was saying by trying to reclaim the title "wife." Not saying it isn't BS though (is she trying to reclaim the time when your father traded you to your future husband for 3 cows and a goat)?



    Anniversary
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_non-traditional-bridesmaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:a69a23aa-28cb-44f8-99a6-28b26bfc9178Post:572d2df7-86fb-4682-9860-a62b57a98bc4">Re: Non traditional bridesmaids</a>:
    [QUOTE]Non traditinal bridesmaids also need unique and amazing bridesmaid dresses,right? I found a great site that provides great  bridesmaid dresses ! How do you think about the below dress?I love the style!
    Posted by Catherine&88[/QUOTE]

    <div>Not speshul enough for snowflakes!!!!!!  This is much better:</div><div>
    </div><div><img src="http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/uglydress_2249_31814674" alt="" /></div>
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Please don't report Catherine so she can finally be banned.



  • Done and done!
    lovesclimbing
  • Hi MichelleMS4 - my-oh-my! Who would have thought this would turn into SUCH a heated issue?! I stumbled on this thread looking for an answer to your same question.
    I wondered about the non-traditional bridesmaid title because I'm having a Quaker (self-uniting) wedding, so there's no alter, no church, no aisle - we'll all be standing for a brief exchange of promises between me & the mister. Short, sweet, romantic & simplistic.

    I have one female friend who has been really helpful w/ some planning aspects & who I love dearly, but I don't know if *she* would like the traditional bridesmaid title. I have tons of respect for her and want to acknowledge her for her help & good suggestions, but would like to give her some options. Of course, I'll probably just ask her opinion, but thought there might be a nice lovely, complimentary alternate that I'd otherwise not be aware of.

    Curious as to what you ultimately decided upon?
  • I too was googling other cute names/titles for "non-bridesmaids" and was appalled with the responses.  Honestly, it just seemed as if you were seeking some constructive opinions and instead were stoned for "going outside of the box".  Perhaps you may find this article interesting: 


    It is MY opinion that some of these ladies have forgotten the true meaning of marriage which is consecrating your love with your spouse, two people becoming one, etc.; not having to put on a show/ huge production... just saying.

    I too am curious to know what name/title you decided upon? Or if anyone else has any constructive suggestions?  EX: "Something Blues", "Loyal Ladies", "The Brides Best", etc.  

    P.S.  If anyone feels the need to express themselves in a negative way to this response, have at it because I DO NOT CARE.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and please do not look for me to respond back to such silliness, XOs ;) 
    arl1174
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