Future Mother in law drama

Soon to Be Mrs Jay

This must be the month of drama for me. So going to give some history first than my vent. My FMIL did not raise my fiance and his brother. They were taken away from her at a young age. They were raised by their grandmother(RIP) and their aunt. In their teen years, FMIL came back into their lives. The relationship between Fiance and FMIL has been rocky. When we started dating, they were on good terms. I did not not have any issues with her till we moved into our own place together. FMIL expected fiance to pay our bills and hers too. That was a No No.

So when we started planning the wedding we decided we would extend an invite to her to participate in our day. I had called her numerous times and received no response. Fiance had already asked his aunt to play a part in our day and she said yes but strongly wanted us to get his mother involved. Today I called FMIL and she answered. I explain to her we wanted her to be in wedding. She cussed me out terribly. Told me we would never make it to a year of marriage and I was not worth anything and neither was her son. I was so upset. I have never had someone speak to me the way she did. Called fiance and he called her but she will not answer for him. Can't believe someone could be so evil.

Thanks for reading. Just wanted to vent.

CreoleBride30

I understand your frustration and being upset..you absolutely have every right to be.   However, his mother may have some psychological issues going on for her to "blow up" in that manner (I say that based upon your "background" info).  I would take what she said with a grain of salt. I don't think there is a need for argument here honestly.  Wholeheartedly pray for her...that she can receive peace and release from whatever is going on with her. 

Cha

Soon to Be Mrs Jay

Cha

I have been praying for her and about this situation for awhile. It seems that if you are giving her stuff, your her angel. Than as soon as you stop she become nasty again. I am going to continue taking this to the altar. God Bless her soul.

footballwife77

Wow! his mom sounds really crappy! Sorry you and your husband have to deal with her. Did you call his aunt to tell her? I would go on ahead and just wipe your hands of her. You tried and she couldn't meet you halfway. Keep it moving forward.

CreoleBride30

This is a sad sad case..his mother likes to use people.   I would wipe my hands with her as well.  I wouldn't be mean to her on purpose, but I definitely wouldn't make any effort to be nice.  For me, I avoid people like that...I don't want all that negativity in my life, ya know!  Some people just have "evil" ways in them.  Yep, continue to take it up with the One you know Who matters! :-)  Praying for your situation.  

Cha 

nbrown501

Wow,sorry you had to go through that. I can only imagine the level of pisstivaty. 

zantster

I will pass on some sage advice from the wise seasoned women in my life who have been my aunties and godmothers.  They always told me that some people you have to love from afar.  They can be in your heart but not in your home. 

I have some similar issues with my dad except instead of blowing up he just gets really distant if you don't do what he wants and how he wants it and when he wants it.  Just be at peace knowing you have done everything within your control since you cannot control another human being anyway.  Then let go and let God.  Peace be still.  If his aunt doesn't understand then that's not your fault. 

You have to do what's best for you and FH.  And be careful because once you ignore her and avoid her drama she might want to act like she's sorry and get back on your good side.  You may have to not allow her to pop back and forth whenever she feels like it if it's disruptive to your family.  God bless.

Soon to Be Mrs Jay

Good morning ladies

So I spoke with FH's aunt and she was very apologic to her sisters behavior. We talked and she will step up and play a part that FMIL should be playing. We discussed in great lengths about some of the stories FMIL told me as she was yelling at me and I found out it was all untrue. She just wants attention.

FH and I decided that she will not get the attention from our household. We are also preparing ourselves for the drama that is about to come our way.

Thanks for all the kinds words. It really helped.

tirathemrs

Im glad to read that his aunt will step in for you guys, who needs that kinda drama on Your Big Day... and all you can do at this moment is pray for her and id still handle her with a long handled spoon (probably hi and bye)...

nursing2u

I agree with what everyone else has said...You NEVER stooped down to her level.. and you tried all that you could to include her...

Very true.. some people just LOVE to be the center of attention, and when they can't get what they want, they lash out and don't care who they bulldoze in the process..

FH's aunt... it is great that she is there and you were able to talk to her and ease some of your worry.

Continue to stay together and pray together... communication is always the key.. and I am happy to see that you and his supportive family have that..