Party instead of a reception at a later date

lenaglong

Alright, so I decided to plan a wedding in a month since my fiance (now husband) and I are both in school and didn't want to wait until summer to have a wedding.  That being said, it was very small and we plan to have a party to invite all our friends who were not at the ceremony to come and celebrate with us.  In order to save enough money to have this party, it is scheduled for mid June on our 6 month anniversary.  I have a couple of questions about it, though.  Since typically at a reception you have cutting of the cake, throwing the bouquet and garter, first dance, etc., what can I do as alternatives to come of those things since the actual ceremony took place 6 months prior.  It just feels odd to invite people and not have any of that planned, but at the same time, it would be weirder to throw a mock bouquet and then do the whole cutting of the cake thing again...  Thoughts?  Ideas?

SlothGoals

I'm a bit confused. Are you already married? Or are you getting married later this month? Were you married in January?

Regardless, whatever you're planning in June is not a wedding reception, that happens the same day as the wedding ceremony, which is happening 6 months before this party you're planning. Don't have any wedding related things, just have a fun party and invite your friends.

lenaglong

Yes, I am already married. I was married December 15 and the party is scheduled for June 15.  I understand that it's not a wedding reception which is why it's labeled as a party.  When we were married our friends knew we were planning a celebration at a later date so I'm curious to know whether or not registering would be appropriate since we didn't have time for a registry when we got engaged in November.  

Maggie0829

Ok, so you are already married.  And you are planning a celebration of your marriage in June.  Is that right?

If so, then just throw a kick butt party.  Have some great food, great drinks, and great music.  Wear a little white dress if you want.  But all typical wedding reception stuff just shouldn't be included because this isn't a wedding reception, it is just a party to celebrate your marriage.

What I think is ok to include:
-  cutting of the cake (just don't have a typical white multi tiered wedding cake...tiered is fine but just not an all white formal cake)
-  a dance between you and your H (just don't call it a first dance)
-  dances with your parents (just don't make them spotlight dances)

What I think you should avoid:
-  big wedding dress
-  wedding party
-  garter and bouquet toss (I hate those at weddings as well but that is neither here nor there)

lenaglong

Yes, currently married, celebration scheduled in June.

That's what I was thinking...  Music, food, drinks...  I was just not sure if people would be expecting something more closely related to a traditional reception.

And I was thinking cupcakes instead of an actual cake to detract from the tradition of cake-cutting and also to be less formal with the whole thing.

Thanks!

SlothGoals

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_party-instead-of-a-reception-at-a-later-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7fcf4418-3096-429c-8e34-289621d78a1dPost:868d0f05-8bb5-4f18-80c9-89371ff2a611">Re: Party instead of a reception at a later date</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, currently married, celebration scheduled in June. That's what I was thinking...  Music, food, drinks...  I was just not sure if people would be expecting something more closely related to a traditional reception. And I was thinking cupcakes instead of an actual cake to detract from the tradition of cake-cutting and also to be less formal with the whole thing. Thanks!
Posted by lenaglong[/QUOTE]

<div>What you're planning sounds lovely. You're definitely on the right track! Guests will base their expectations on the invitaiton fomality and wording.</div>

lenaglong

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_party-instead-of-a-reception-at-a-later-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7fcf4418-3096-429c-8e34-289621d78a1dPost:1f1fde7f-8e52-40ee-80a5-564b213716af">Re: Party instead of a reception at a later date</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Party instead of a reception at a later date : What you're planning sounds lovely. You're definitely on the right track! Guests will base their expectations on the invitaiton fomality and wording.
Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks very much!</div>

benore2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_party-instead-of-a-reception-at-a-later-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7fcf4418-3096-429c-8e34-289621d78a1dPost:af388835-5f95-4b12-abff-74bb0863584c">Re: Party instead of a reception at a later date</a>:
[QUOTE]You should have just waited the six months to do this altogether. You could have saved the money and planned it right. Then you wouldn't have these weird questions. Move on.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]
That was just mean.

OwningAHome1981

Hi OP! I'm not here to counsel you or play devils advocate or judge but when I hear things like this I always wonder why. It seems you are so young... What were you u in such a rush for? I'm not trying to be mean at all. I just feel like if you would have waited you could have the reception that you really wanted. Like I said... Not trying to judge. I'm in my 30's and I will say I changed a lot from my 20's til now. I am assuming you are in your 20's. I wish you a wonderful life with your husband and a wonderful party!

[Deleted User]

Sounds like a fun time. Maybe a slide show or a few framed photos from your wedding day around the party for people to see who weren't at the wedding. That's one of my favorite things is to see photos from weddings.

starlily29

That was just mean.


Unfortunately I see there is a group of mean women.Why they are not banned is beyond me?????

melb2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_party-instead-of-a-reception-at-a-later-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7fcf4418-3096-429c-8e34-289621d78a1dPost:0c3d122e-204b-4db9-bb90-d07b6ab157f7">Re: Party instead of a reception at a later date</a>:
[QUOTE]Didn't mean to come off "mean." But I just don't understand why this was necessary - especially with a gap of only a few months. Why not wait and have the traditional wedding and reception and not worry about a secondary party and invites and what weddingy stuff is appropriate to include or not? Seems simpler. And again there apparently wasn't a reason except "we couldn't wait." Just bothers me in this immediate gratification world that people are making things more complicated than they need to be.
Posted by scribe95[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>There are many, many reasons why someone would choose to do this.  It's not your business to judge.  OPs plans are completely fine according to etiquette.  </div><div>My own parents eloped and then 5 months later my grandparents threw them a party.  They eloped because of issues with my father's family- they didn't approve of the marriage and my parents wanted peace when they actually got married.  My father's parents did come to the party later, but no other members of his family came.  My father's parents weren't particularly happy at the party, but there were no major issues because my parents were already married.</div>

ils2004

In regards to registering, I don't think it's appropriate because this is a party to celebrate your marriage, not a wedding day reception.  When people throw fun awesome parties (unless its a birthday party), you typically don't expect to recieve gifts.  

I hope you have a great party and an even better and long lasting marriage.