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I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...

But we honestly have no choice. Since we're getting married on a ski slope, the ceremony has to be at 9am so the slope can open at 10. It is a destination wedding so everyone attending will be OOT. We want an evening reception at the resort, so it will start at 5pm. 

The resort has a multitude of things to do: downhill and cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, snow biking, a treasure hunt for kids, bonfires with s'mores, ice skating, a spa with massages and mani/pedis, indoor pool and hottub, outdoor hottub, and I'm sure I'm missing something. We are planning on having a party bus take a load of people to a large city that is 1/2 an hour away for 3 hours to do some shopping and lunch, or whatever they wanted. 

I am perfectly fine with many coming only to the reception and not the ceremony, especially since we are inviting 300 and only 100 seats will fit on the slope, though I know a lot of my family will not come to the ceremony because of healthy issues. I'm just wondering if this is enough for people to do or if there is anything else I could possibly offer them. At least it will give them time to change out of snow gear and into formalwear, but we are talking an 8 hour gap. 
~Weeds are just flowers without an invitation.~
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Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...

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    This is not going to go over well here at all, and you didn't even ask a question...I'm confused.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:721194ce-0fe9-4642-8bb9-737a5353e6c0">I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]But <strong>we honestly have no choice</strong>. Since we're getting married on a ski slope, the ceremony has to be at 9am so the slope can open at 10. It is a destination wedding so everyone attending will be OOT. <strong>We want an evening reception at the resort, so it will start at 5pm</strong>.  The resort has a multitude of things to do: downhill and cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, snow biking, a treasure hunt for kids, bonfires with s'mores, ice skating, a spa with massages and mani/pedis, indoor pool and hottub, outdoor hottub, and I'm sure I'm missing something. We are planning on having a party bus take a load of people to a large city that is 1/2 an hour away for 3 hours to do some shopping and lunch, or whatever they wanted.  <strong>I am perfectly fine with many coming only to the reception and not the ceremony, especially since we are inviting 300 and only 100 seats will fit on the slope, </strong>though I know a lot of my family will not come to the ceremony because of healthy issues. I'm just wondering if this is enough for people to do or if there is anything else I could possibly offer them. At least it will give them time to change out of snow gear and into formalwear, but we are talking an 8 hour gap. 
    Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]

    Then why ask? You are CHOOSING and evening reception instead of a brunch reception and knowingly dont have enough seating for your guests? Bad form.
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited April 2013
    You lost me at the fact that you are inviting 300 people to a destination wedding, but can only have up to 100 chairs for your ceremony.

    "Oh, hi, out of town guest, hike up this mountain and then stand the whole time in the snow on a ski slope to witness our vows!"
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    Bahahaha.  A large gap that is so "unavoidable" plus a venue that won't hold all the guests if they want to come.

    Hmm... what else ya got?
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited April 2013
    Okay, so upon further research you are getting married in February 2015. Outdoors. At 9:00AM. In Northern Michigan. AWESOME IDEA (said no one ever).

    Have you ever experienced February in the northern Midwest? Yeahhhhhhhhh...
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:e0114073-fa60-4aab-83ee-bf8e8b7e1b3e">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]And I'd be pissed off if I had to stand on a ski slope because you didn't consider me enough to get me and all of the other guests enough chairs. That would make me think that you cared more about your ceremony venue that your family and friends.
    Posted by smp87[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I think it's quite clear that she cares more about her ceremony than her guests.  It's a shame. 

    OP - if getting married at the top of the slope is such a big deal to you (and admittedly it sounds cool), then you host a brunch reception afterwards.  Common hosting courtesy and a bit of a no-brainer.  You throwing your arms up and saying "What to do!" is not how an adult host handles this situation.
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    Ha. My question was if I had enough things for guests to do ("I'm just wondering if this is enough for people to do or if there is anything else I could possibly offer them").

    But we're expecting about 50% of our 500 to make it since it's a 3 hour drive for most in the middle of winter. So that means 150 people. A great majority of them are ushers or in the wedding, and I assume many won't come to the ceremony since it's at 9am. 

    Obviously this is an off-beat wedding which breaks the rules. I don't care about the gap; that's way it is. I just wanted suggestions for other things I could offer guests to do, but I guess your panties were too far in a bunch by the time  you got to that line. 
    ~Weeds are just flowers without an invitation.~
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:c261f1c0-b3fd-4571-b301-363725767f77">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE] Obviously this is an off-beat wedding which breaks the rules. I don't care about the gap; that's way it is. I just wanted suggestions for other things I could offer guests to do, but I guess your panties were too far in a bunch by the time  you got to that line. 
    Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]

    Off-beat doesn't mean you disregard etiquette.  Off-beat doesn't mean you get to be an ignorant and rude host.  Off-beat means you get married at the top of a mountain, but you still provide food, drink and entertainment in a timely manner to your guests.

    Seriously - you are behaving very self-absorbed here.
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    First, prepare to be flamed for saying this is unavoidable when using the words "we want this" or "we chose that." They are contradictory.

    Second, honestly, it could be a lot of fun (disregarding the whole seat issue). What I would suggest is to eliminate the gap by hosting a brunch reception immediately after. Boom. One etiquette faux paus eliminated. Then, make it a suggestion to your guests that they can spend the day galavanting/snowboarding/etc. as they please. Prepare that some may leave right after. Then maybe throw a party later in the evening (NOT a second reception- none of the "wedding" things should be happening) for those who stay. I would suggest making this rather casual, and maybe just hosting some food and drinks for those who stay in town. Again, this would NOT be your technical wedding reception.

    That's just my thought of a possible solution to what I consider the more manageable obstacle. The seat issue is still at bay, and I suggest figuring something there. Ushers need seats too. A seated bottom is a happy bottom.
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    misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Re:I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...:[QUOTE]Ha. My question was if I had enough things for guests to do "I'm just wondering if this is enough for people to do or if there is anything else I could possibly offer them".But we're expecting about 50 of our 500 to make it since it's a 3 hour drive for most in the middle of winter. So that means 150 people. A great majority of them are ushers or in the wedding, and I assume many won't come to the ceremony since it's at 9am.nbsp;Obviously this is an offbeat wedding which breaks the rules. I don't care about the gap; that's way it is. I just wanted suggestions for other things I could offer guests to do, but I guess your panties were too far in a bunch by the time nbsp;you got to that line.nbsp; Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]

    Wait. 500 now? I think/hope that's a typo. You really need to have enough seating for everyone who attends.

    And you asked a question on the etiquette board that's against etiquette. People are going to comment on the rest of your post. If yore already doing something rude, it's hard to get to yor question.
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    I think this post would have have received the advice you were looking for if you:
    1) Posed an actual question in your original post and
    2) Posted to the Reception Ideas board or something.

    This is an etiquette board, when you post here people will tell you about etiqutte.

    I think it's unfair for you to post to a board with the attitude of "I know you don't like it, but I will post anyway" and then continue to insult people and say their panties are in a bunch.

    I think, as a guest if you invited me to a ski resort with the knowledge that your ceremony was at 9 and your reception is at 5, I would bring my skis and be perfectly fine.
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    So very much wrong with this. And don't justify it by saying it's an "off-beat" wedding. Those "rules" you're looking to break are the rules of common courtesy, not some crazy all-weddings-have-to-be-alike rules. It's about taking care of your guests and making them comfortable and part of your love and marriage. So far you are doing nothing to show to them that they're anything more than props to oooh and ahhh at you.

    Also, you really should anticipate 100% attendance. 

    This whole thing makes my head hurt. No. There's nothing else you can do for your poor guests who have to sit around for 8 hours because you can't be bothered to care about them. Except realize that you should be hosting them properly and rethink your ideas.
    imageimage
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:037158cd-3ab3-4b93-abb9-5cbb8bf361b2">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception... : Oh, I think it's quite clear that she cares more about her ceremony than her guests.  It's a shame.  OP - if getting married at the top of the slope is such a big deal to you (and admittedly it sounds cool), then you host a brunch reception afterwards.  Common hosting courtesy and a bit of a no-brainer.  You throwing your arms up and saying "What to do!" is not how an adult host handles this situation.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    <div>But a brunch reception is oh-so lame. Our families are full of partiers that would be completely unsatisfied with a brunch reception. My dream has been to ski down the aisle since I was a little girl. We're all a quirky bunch, and that's why FH and I mesh so well (so far this year we ran a race as IronWoman and SuperMan, wore green tuxes for St. Paddy's Day, and skied all day this past Saturday dressed as a zombie bride and groom for $5 off lift tickets). </div><div>
    </div><div>I was most definitely not asking you guys to condone our gap because I know better than that. I was just asking for gap-things-to-do ideas. </div>
    ~Weeds are just flowers without an invitation.~
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    So you have come to an etiquette board to brag about everything you have managed to do against etiquette?


     
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    What are you and your groom going to do during those 8 hours?
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    Don't worry, there's plenty to do during your gap. And if your guests get bored, they can do what I would do and get drunk in a hot tub while discussing all the other issues with the rude wedding you HAD to have with the other guests.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:fedc71cb-753b-48e8-8734-4819d7e39fb2">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception... : But a brunch reception is oh-so lame. Our families are full of partiers that would be completely unsatisfied with a brunch reception. My dream has been to ski down the aisle since I was a little girl. We're all a quirky bunch, and that's why FH and I mesh so well (so far this year we ran a race as IronWoman and SuperMan, wore green tuxes for St. Paddy's Day, and skied all day this past Saturday dressed as a zombie bride and groom for $5 off lift tickets).  I was most definitely not asking you guys to condone our gap because I know better than that. I was just asking for gap-things-to-do ideas. 
    Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]

    I get it.  I think your idea is fun, honestly.  But, I don't think an eight hour gap is ever okay - no matter how you want to justify it.  It just comes across as selfish to your guests.  Don't tell me that all them "are cool with it!" because they're going to say that to your face and not behind your back.  I guarantee it.

    Can you host a light brunch after the wedding and then still have a party that night?
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:fedc71cb-753b-48e8-8734-4819d7e39fb2">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception... : But a brunch reception is oh-so lame. Our families are full of partiers that would be completely unsatisfied with a brunch reception. My dream has been to ski down the aisle since I was a little girl. <strong>We're all a quirky bunch, and that's why FH and I mesh so well (so far this year we ran a race as IronWoman and SuperMan, wore green tuxes for St. Paddy's Day, and skied all day this past Saturday dressed as a zombie bride and groom for $5 off lift tickets).</strong>  I was most definitely not asking you guys to condone our gap because I know better than that. I was just asking for gap-things-to-do ideas. 
    Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]

    Do you honestly think you're the only one in the world to do fun things like this? We're quirky! We can do whatever we want! sounds very immature.

    It doesn't mean you can be rude. What about guests who don't have plans to stay overnight at the resort? You want/expect them to sit around and wait for you to finish your day of skiing before they can attend your reception?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:c261f1c0-b3fd-4571-b301-363725767f77">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ha. My question was if I had enough things for guests to do (" I'm just wondering if this is enough for people to do or if there is anything else I could possibly offer them"). But we're expecting about 50% of our 500 to make it since it's a 3 hour drive for most in the middle of winter. So that means 150 people. A great majority of them are ushers or in the wedding, and I assume many won't come to the ceremony since it's at 9am.  Obviously this is an off-beat wedding which breaks the rules. I don't care about the gap; that's way it is. I just wanted suggestions for other things I could offer guests to do, but I guess your panties were too far in a bunch by the time  you got to that line. 
    Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]

    Wait wait wait....500? And you're inviting 300 to your ceremony that you only have 100 chairs at? WTF!? This cannot be real!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:6d746668-4f39-4309-8373-b6fd64416132">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception... : I get it.  I think your idea is fun, honestly.  But, I don't think an eight hour gap is ever okay - no matter how you want to justify it.  It just comes across as selfish to your guests.  Don't tell me that all them "are cool with it!" because they're going to say that to your face and not behind your back.  I guarantee it. Can you host a light brunch after the wedding and then still have a party that night?
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    <div>Would that be possible? I think that might be a good compromise. Have a brunch reception to thank your guests for coming, then a celebration party later that night. So people who don't want to stick around the whole day are properly hosting, but you're also having that party you want with all your party-minded friends.</div><div>
    </div><div>Still need seats for everyone, though.</div>
    imageimage
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    I think a brunch after the ceremony and then an after-party later could be a nice compromise. You'll get your ski'ing down the aisle dream, and your friends and family will have full bellies for snowboarding, ski'ing or heading home.

    Also, if you have a brunch immediately afterward, I think it also gives you a lot of flexibility too. You'll be able to wipe your make up off and what not and not worry about remaining "bridal." Rather you can have a lovely time and go to the after party to celebrate a great wedding and day on the slopes.

    But I'm with everyone on the seats. Even though it's a hassle, definitely make sure everyone has enough seats. I had to stand once at a wedding because they ran out of seats. The wedding was beautiful, and the bride was glowing, and I am so happy I was there, but a chair...that would have made it far better.
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    What kind of shoes are you going to wear?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    HAHA! Addie!
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    Way to insult all the people who had a brunch reception.  Nice...

    You are making a choice here based on what YOU want.  Host the brunch reception if it means that much to you to have your wedding on a ski slope.  Or hold a truly private ceremony with just parents/siblings/grandparents and hold a reception later in the day (which would also help with your seating problem).  There are other solutions here, you just have to dig deep to find them.

    At the end of the day, do you want your guests to be talking about how rude your wedding was?  I went to a wedding last year where people still talk about the minor rudeness that occured (not inviting SOs).  I can only imagine if not everyone had a seat or there was an eight hour gap.  It will make YOU look bad and rude, no matter how off-beat your guests are.
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    I agree with PPs about the compromise. That way you properly host your guests, and the ones who are ready to leave can without feeling slighted, like grandma. Then go hang out all day and have an awesome after party that night. I would even say you could still wear your wedding dress since it's the same day. But I still think seats for everyone.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:721194ce-0fe9-4642-8bb9-737a5353e6c0">I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]But we honestly have no choice. Since we're getting married on a ski slope, the ceremony has to be at 9am so the slope can open at 10. It is a destination wedding so everyone attending will be OOT. We want an evening reception at the resort, so it will start at 5pm.  The resort has a multitude of things to do: downhill and cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, snow biking, a treasure hunt for kids, bonfires with s'mores, ice skating, a spa with massages and mani/pedis, indoor pool and hottub, outdoor hottub, and I'm sure I'm missing something. We are planning on having a party bus take a load of people to a large city that is 1/2 an hour away for 3 hours to do some shopping and lunch, or whatever they wanted.  I am perfectly fine with many coming only to the reception and not the ceremony, especially since we are inviting 300 and only 100 seats will fit on the slope, though I know a lot of my family will not come to the ceremony because of healthy issues. I'm just wondering if this is enough for people to do or if there is anything else I could possibly offer them. At least it will give them time to change out of snow gear and into formalwear, but we are talking an 8 hour gap. 
    Posted by wihltsabow[/QUOTE]
    Ok, I'm trying to be understanding because in addition to being from Detroit I work in Lansing and I get what you want.  But first things first.  Put yourself in the mindset and shoes of a guest and not of the little girl who always wanted to ski down the slope at her wedding.  Not only will there be an 8 hour gap.  But you will expect them to be ready to party for a few hours after that into the late evening!  That is an extremely long day for a human being of any age.  And giving them tons of activities will not account for the fatigue that will naturally happen.

    Real talk I honestly don't think you'll be able to have your cake and eat it too in this case without truly inconveniencing a lot of people, which is not what you want.  Now on to other options, is there any way possible that the slope could help you have a more scaled down ski slope wedding in the evening in a reserved area that you would not take away from the public for more than say 20 minutes for the ceremony?  Then you could go straight into the reception without a gap.  If that is possible then the only way you could do that without being rude in terms of seating is to have immediate family only at the ceremony.  Otherwise it will seem like you're having a tiered wedding and that's not kosher.

    I get that you don't care about the gap.  But I guarantee that you didn't envision exhausted people with serious faces who leave early when you were a little girl either so think about how you can avoid that for everyone's happiness.
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    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:c7f8038a-2eba-4be4-9376-80aad13a2dfc">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception... : Oh, please. My family, and FI's family, is full of partiers, too. We love to day drink. That includes day-drinking at brunch. I guess we're ~*~oH-So-LaMe~*~. Don't come to an Etiquette board, say you know that you're practicing bad etiquette, and then ask us to help you practice bad etiquette, too.
    Posted by smp87[/QUOTE]

    Hehe. Us too. Been known to have brunch/lunch weddings with open bars in our circle.

    I actually live just across the lake from where the OP's wedding is. Maybe I can crash and see what a fun time the guests are having during their 8 hour gap.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-know-how-we-all-feel-about-long-gaps-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5b81d47b-67b6-41d1-8051-d51a5feaaf8dPost:c7f8038a-2eba-4be4-9376-80aad13a2dfc">Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I know how we all feel about long gaps between ceremony and reception... : <strong>Oh, please. My family, and FI's family, is full of partiers, too. We love to day drink.</strong> That includes day-drinking at brunch. I guess we're ~*~oH-So-LaMe~*~. Don't come to an Etiquette board, say you know that you're practicing bad etiquette, and then ask us to help you practice bad etiquette, too.
    Posted by smp87[/QUOTE]

    Exactly. Ever heard of a darty?? (day-party) If your family really is a group of partiers, they can party right on through the day into the evening.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    My wedding had a lunch reception. Is that more or less lame than brunch? 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    So...... I'm confused, why are you here?
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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