Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guest List/Reception Only??

So for our wedding, the location we're at allows 175 for the ceremony, but 350 in the reception area....Our guest list is at 280. Is it okay to have guests that we just invite to the reception? Or is that a big no no?? 

Re: Guest List/Reception Only??

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    No. Everyone must be invited to the entire event. The only exception is having a private ceremony (20 people or less) and then a larger reception.
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    In Response to <a href=" BoardsForum:9Discussion:6aa1b18a-0c49-435c-b354-ef0a7edb993cPost:dbb24178-a47c-4d20-9d5c-5aa801f7dc3f">Guest List/Reception Only??</a>:
    [QUOTE]So for our wedding, the location we're at allows 175 for the ceremony, but 350 in the reception area....Our guest list is at 280. Is it okay to have guests that we just invite to the reception? Or is that a big no no?? 
    Posted by nbergfalk[/QUOTE]

    That's very impolite.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    This has to be an April Fools'. I hope so.
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    Th only way to do that is to have no more than 10% of your total guest list invited to the receptions.  In your case that would be would be about 28 people.   Even that is a little more than people would like, but if you are inviting 280 people, it's not really too many.

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    Okay I've been lurking a few days. First, man you ladies know your stuff! I love how y'all tell it like it is!! I've learned a lot these past few days. Second! This splitting up of the wedding is becoming fairly common. What the heck?! I think it's such poor taste and I don't get how it started?
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    That's a big no-no

    1) Cut the list to 175 (pending STDs haven't gone out)
    2) Find a different venue for the ceremony that will hold 280
    3) Find a different venue for the whole thing that holds 280
    4) Cut your ceremony guest list to 30 people or less (10% of your guest list, rounded up)
    5) See if your venue will let you have the ceremony in the reception area with everyone at their tables
    6) if the normal ceremony area can be set up for a 280 person cocktail hour see if the venue will do the ceremony in the reception room and then flip the room during cocktail hour
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    Remember to check if that limit is a fire code, total persons limit, or if it's just their ability to hold people. Because you have to include yourselves and your vendors in your list in the first case. 

    But yes, it is rude to invite people to only half your wedding. 
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    Yes it's rude. Unless it's a truly private ceremony (immediate family and MAYBE a super close friend or two), everyone needs to be invited to both the reception and the ceremony. Either find a new place or cut your guest list to the maximum number allowed for the ceremony.
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    No, most people would find that to be impolite. You may hurt your guests' feelings. Does the venue have another area you can use for your ceremony? Maybe outside (not sure what October is like in your area)? Or is there a way to have the ceremony room, then move everyone elsewhere (with hosted food and apps) while they set it up for the reception?

    I think it is really important to get a feel for your guest list ahead of time and then select a venue that will accommodate everyone.
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    hordolhordol member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited April 2013
    I had an old college roommate that invited me only to the post-dinner dance. She and her now-husband invited a bunch of people through a facebook event to come to a dance in honor of their wedding in a different location after their official reception. I was pretty offended and didn't go--and it takes a lot to offend me! It is basically saying, "You're free to come party with us at 10pm but I don't want you watching our ceremony and I'm not buying you dinner because you're not that important!" I would think many of your guests would have similar feelings. Even if they understood that it was for space limitations, it still obvious who made the cut and who didn'tI would say the only exception would be a private ceremony and bigger reception.

    Edited to fix a few things.

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    arees062886arees062886 member
    First Comment
    edited April 2013
    I do not think it is impolite as long as you are feeding the people you invite to the reception as well. I am getting married this Sept my fianc did not want everyone at the ceremony. We are inviting 120 people. I am very close with all my Aunts Uncles so they are all coming to ceremony along with my fiance's sibling parents. Now mind you I am an only child where he is not we have no bridal party. It will be roughly half coming to ceremony reception while other half is reception only. However, everyone will be able to eat, drink, dance on our dime! I personally do not find it impolite. I say it is your wedding do it how you want but make sure you at least feed everyone! ;
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