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Do all children "count" on a guest list?

Friends and my fiance say I do not have to "count" children on my guest list for my reception-only event. One said "only older kids count." My thinking is if they need a plate and a chair, they count! Am I wrong? This would be a significant number of kids we are talking about.....

Re: Do all children "count" on a guest list?

  • If they're taking up a chair, yes they count. I'm not sure what the confusion is even about. They are a guest, they count on the guest list.
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  • You are right. Even babies count - no parent is going to hold their baby all night, so you'd need to provide a chair for the baby's carrier.

    Not all parents will have you provide a meal to their child, though. We have three 2-month-olds attending the wedding that only need a boob. :)

  • they count for seats, they may not count for meals (check with your venue).  We did family style so our venue did kids under 5 free (they still of course had a plate and could eat) and kids under 13 half price.  There was also a 'kids meal' option of chicken fingers that could be selected regardless of whether they were half price or free.
  • Some places will do like half price for kids 3-5. and kids 2 and under are free. We are doing a buffet

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    They count as far as chairs and fire codes go.   As far as payment is a different story.

    The boat I worked on had a 49 person limit.  The Coast Guard does not care if the person is 1 day old or 100 years old.  A person is a person.  Sometimes we had to turn away a family because they assumed that their infant didn't count even when ask how many people were in the party and we were at capacity.

    Point of the story its never a good idea to assume.  Asking the question takes a whole 20 seconds.

    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Anyone who is sitting and eating counts. Check with your venue and see if they get a discount, but kids count for sure.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Are you having a separate room for the children or are they all seated with their respective families?  I talked to a few venues that had discounts for children under a certain age, and some had a separate room for the children to eat and play, which is what I will be doing (not that I don't love all the children who will be there, but I know that their parents will have to be running after them and I want them to be able to enjoy their meal, so I'm getting a babysitter). 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_do-all-children-count-on-a-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:7e7eef94-377e-4b90-8bae-8ffeef1ef364Post:1c1c2bdf-9f5b-4f2b-8ba6-3eccb4c8c1cd">Do all children "count" on a guest list?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Friends and my fiance say I do not have to "count" children on my guest list for my reception-only event. One said "only older kids count." My thinking is if they need a plate and a chair, they count! Am I wrong? This would be a significant number of kids we are talking about.....
    Posted by gone2tx[/QUOTE]

    How did no one catch the "reception-only" part of this? Why aren't people invited to the ceremony? Was it a private, immediate family only ceremony?
  • They count.  And some venues don't offer a discounted meal for kids (mine didn't, they just didn't charge me for the bar package for the kids).

  • Please consider ages and maturity when ordering "kid's meals."  All children are not created equal when it comes to food, either. Consider whether your nine-year-old niece eats turkey with the adults at holiday meals, or macaroni and cheese.  If she does, save the chicken fingers and chocolate pudding for the toddlers.  Some venues offer to serve "kid's meals" to anyone 12 or under - but how many tweens are happy to eat "baby food" at your wedding, or will get enough to fill up?
    I agree. I was invited to a cousin's wedding as a middle schooler. All of the "kids" were sat in a separate room and fed chicken fingers and hamburgers. I was not a happy camper as I was old enough to sit at a table with grown-ups and eat a regular meal.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'd say every human being there counts, and that includes all kids.
  • I agree with PPs...you should account for them but check with your venue to see if there is a discount or something for kids of a certain age.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Definitely ask your venue. For mine, kids 5 and under don't count regarding payment and food; however, seating will still be provided, so in that regard, they count.

    Officially hitched as of 10/25/13

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  • yes, they need to count as they need a chair.


    Also, check with your venue about child rates

  • How are there no zombie gifs on this yet? I'd do it myself, but I'm on mobile :-(
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