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Married couples

I have 2 married couples in my wedding party.
Do they need to paired together for the processional and recessional?
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Re: Married couples

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    Yes. People will think it's weird if they aren't paired up. 
    Any fool can make a rule,and any fool will mind it. ~Thoreau photo specialdaygif_zpsac5730d3.gif
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    I think the whole stand by height thing is bizarre.  Just pair them up - they will appreciate it, I promise.
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    I think it would be nice to pair them up. FI's sister and her long-term boyfriend are in our wedding party, and we will be pairing up because they'll be confused (and possibly offended) if we don't. You don't have to, but I, like hoffse, don't understand the whole height thing. It's always nice to walk down the aisle with someone you know, especially when you're in pictures with that person, as opposed to someone you don't.
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    May I ask why you wouldn't pair them up? I mean, you don't have to, but I kind of feel like they should be.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    I would be sooooo mad if I wasn't paired with my honey!!!!
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    My wedding day panties!!

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    We'll probably pair my FSIL with her husband, but my FBIL is the best man, so unfortunately he'll be paired with my MOH rather than his wife, who is also in the wedding.  I doubt they will care since FBIL is the best man.  In any other case, I would try to pair the married couples together only because NOT doing it would feel like I'm pairing people up for looks (like putting people by height or other weird reasons). 
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    I would want to walk with my FI, just sayin.

     

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    edited April 2013
    Pair them up! I'd throw a fit if I was seperated from my man!
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    I think pairing them up is nice, but not necessary.  Like if one was the maid of honor, she'd obviously need to walk with the best man, even if her husband was another groomsman.  But if their all just plain old bridesmaids and groomsmen, I don't know why you wouldn't just pair them up.
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    My FI would be SOOOOO pissed if he saw me with another man, even if for a wedding.  You should let them walk in with their husband / FI / boyfriend / booty call.  
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    I was paired up with a GM other than DH who was BM when BIL and SIL were married. No worries.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:5f830592-d1cd-47fd-9399-8473125bd901">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]May I ask why you wouldn't pair them up? I mean, you don't have to, but I kind of feel like they should be.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I am not trying to not pair them up.
    One husband is the best man, so the wife understands he will be paired with the MOH (or just stand next to the groom at the front and not walk down the aisle)

    The other married couple is my brother and his wife.
    I am putting family first (has nothing to with heights as someone else insisted I was doing, all heights will be mixed)
    I was going to do family of the ones getting married closest to us.

    I.e. my sister(moh) and best man
    fiances sister and my brother
    my cousin and my other brother
    my cousin and friend of groom
    SIL (the wife) and friend of groom

    etc.
    then friends after family.

    I am not trying to separate my brother and his wife, I just dont want to put my sister in law in front of my fiances sister. (but we still want siblings closest)

    I would only have them walk separately during the ceremony, pictures and the rest of the day they could pair up. I just want family closest to us, as we are closest to them first then friends.

    is this wrong?
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    I would try to pair them up, but if there is a reason they can't be, I don't think it's a big deal (ie if your sister is MOH, but BIL is a GM...of course the MOH is going to process out of the ceremony with the BM). FWIW, I've been to weddings where the married couples are split up for the ceremony (because of the MOH/BM issue) but when they are announced at the reception, they are paired up with their spouse and I thought that was a good way to do it. 
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    it depends.

    if they are all the same "level" meaning they arent the best man or maid of honor, then i think it makes sense to keep them together.

    but your best man and moh should be together, so if they happen to be married to others in the WP then they shouldnt be paired with their spouse but with each other in their leadership roles as best man and MOH.
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    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:6da143b2-f458-4c6a-9296-6d5838fd15e9">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think ANYTHING that "ranks" your WP is a bad idea.  Who walks where should in no way reflect who you are closer with, either by relationship or blood.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    I am really not trying to rank anyone. I just want siblings closest to us for the ceremony. If you call it ranking then please do so, however, everyone puts their wedding party in a specific order, any way of doing them in an order is still ranking.


    how can I put them in an order without "ranking" them?

    Siblings closes to us, ranking.
    Height (I would never place them this way), ranking

    SO, what is your suggestion?
    pull their names out  a hat?
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    oh, and i had this happen in a wedding i was in - i was assigned to walk with a groomsman as my H was the best man and paired with the MOH.  the toehr married couple in the WP was paired together.  didnt bother me because it was logical.

    id find the height reasoning weird.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:db85877d-5c96-4931-a9f9-83f51aaeda01">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would try to pair them up, but if there is a reason they can't be, I don't think it's a big deal (ie if your sister is MOH, but BIL is a GM...of course the MOH is going to process out of the ceremony with the BM). FWIW, <strong>I've been to weddings where the married couples are split up for the ceremony (because of the MOH/BM issue) but when they are announced at the reception, they are paired up with their spouse and I thought that was a good way to do it. 
    </strong>Posted by daria24[/QUOTE]

    I wanted to do this for my Bro and SIL.
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    I think it's fine to do it on closeness, but I'd keep it to who are you close with on your side.  Like, my brothers won't be next to FI's best man because he's got some friends of 26 years in the wedding, and he's not super close with my brothers.  I won't put my FI's sisters before my cousins because they were practically my sisters growing up. I guess I kind of planned to do it in groups - cousins, friend, FSILs. I mean it's really up to you what order it goes in, but I'd stay away from trying to make it fit some kind of familial heirarchy and just do each side how you feel it should be.  For me, it's about who is closest to ME, and oh, we should pair up the married couple because why not?
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    As for who should stand where, your MOH and BM should stand closest to you.  As for the others just have them line up however they want the day of the rehearsal.  Or if you are doing programs and need to know before hand then I would agree with the "pull their name out of the hat" thing.  None of your guests will be sitting there thinking "oh, Suzie is on the end, so that must be the brides least favorite bridesmaid."  Someone has to be on the end but that doesn't mean that person means any less to you then person standing closest to you.

    With the married couples, it makes sense to split them up for the ceremony if one is the BM and his wife is not the MOH, but for the reception just have them enter in as the married couple that they rae.  No one will care.  In fact no one will care who is paired with who for either the ceremony or the reception.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:4634f8df-b6f4-4566-8048-95553a709cd9">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples :  everyone puts their wedding party in a specific order,
    Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]
    I didn't. It was a surprise to me which of my girls was standing closest on my wedding day. Neither of them was MOH, so it really didn't make a bit of difference to me. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    i will be pairing one, and not the other. My FH's BM's wife is not my MOH, so they wont be paired.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:d8af7c65-07be-4f26-b7de-1484ed71d11c">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples : Yes, I am not trying to not pair them up. One husband is the best man, so the wife understands he will be paired with the MOH (or just stand next to the groom at the front and not walk down the aisle) The other married couple is my brother and his wife. I am putting family first (has nothing to with heights as someone else insisted I was doing, all heights will be mixed) I was going to do family of the ones getting married closest to us.

    I.e. my sister(moh) and best man
     fiances sister and my brother
     my cousin and my other brother
     my cousin and friend of groom
    SIL (the wife) and friend of groom etc.

    then friends after family. I am not trying to separate my brother and his wife, I just dont want to put my sister in law in front of my fiances sister. (but we still want siblings closest) I would only have them walk separately during the ceremony, pictures and the rest of the day they could pair up. I just want family closest to us, as we are closest to them first then friends. is this wrong?
    Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]


    I'm confused... it looks like you have 2 brothers.  You have one walking with your FI's sister and one walking with a cousin.  Why can't you have the cousin walk with the friend of the groom and your SIL walk with her husband? 
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    lovesclimbinglovesclimbing member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2013
    It depends. I think it'd be nice if you paired them up if they are a regular BM and a regular GM. If one is a MOH or BM and the other isn't, then I think it's ok not to pair them up. In my wedding, my sister was my MOH and her boyfriend was a regular GM. They did not walk together because my MOH and his BM walked together. In all honesty, if my H and I were both regular members in a bridal party, neither a MOH or BM, and we weren't paired together, I wouldn't be offended at all. It's two fifteensecond walks and a handful of photos after all, it's not like you're paired with them for the entire day. EDIT: I see this is the case with one being BM and the wife not being MOH so I think you're fine.
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    I would tend to agree with the "not ranking people" thing, if only because it really runs the risk of offending people. I mean, how can you rank between two sisters? What if you're closer to a cousin than a sister? What if your FI is closer to his sister than one of his brothers, but you put her closer to the end because YOU aren't close with her? 

    I'd argue that picking out of a hat is not a terrible idea. 
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    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:0a74d6cb-bad6-4cae-95d3-eab492b7110d">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]Actually, I didn't rank my WP in way, shape, form, or fashion.  We said "the MOH walks in last before the FG and RB.  Everyone else, figure out an order.  And for the Recessional, our Best Man actually DID walk out with his wife, who was not even a bridesmaid, but *gasp* a groomsmaid.  Thanks for making blanket statements you have zero way of actually knowing or proving though.  Those are always fun. If they don't have strong feelings about it, then pair them up however you like.  However, if they DO express a specific desire to walk together, I don't think it's worth it to fight it.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    You dont need to get defensive and sarcastic.
    I apologize. I only meant the wedding party are somehow paired together, Maybe you didnt pair them, sorry.

    Ill specify, IF (notice I said ... <strong>IF</strong>) a wedding party is paired together, and in a specific order, it is going to be in some form of "ranking"(as you call it) and I asked how its possible to not "rank" your wedding party. I didnt know every detail, down to the word, would be ridiculed. Sorry you didnt pair your wedding party, I am not attacking anyone for NOT pairing up their wedding party. I simply meant for everyone who does pair their wedding party, how do you do it without using some sort of mechanism... I.e.  closest to you, who you have known the longest, what color their hair is, height, what color their toe nails are, etc.. no matter how you choose them, it is a "ranking" of some kind. (again I would never number my bridesmaids for personal attributes or characteristics)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:18f39a50-9973-46f1-90ed-b6e82876e43f">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples : I'm confused... it looks like you have 2 brothers.  You have one walking with your FI's sister and one walking with a cousin.  Why can't you have the cousin walk with the friend of the groom and your SIL walk with her husband? 
    Posted by NYCBride2013[/QUOTE]

    I.e. my sister(moh) and best man
     fiances sister and <font color="#800080">my brother
    </font> my cousin and my other brother
     my cousin and friend of groom
    <font color="#800080">SIL (</font><font color="#800080">the wife)</font> and friend of groom etc.

    The purple are married. I dont want my sister in law to be in front of my FSIL.
    And now that I am putting my FSIL behind my sister (because she is a sibling of my fiance- he wants to put my brothers behind his best man too)
    this is getting too complicated and it shouldnt be.
    we each have 7. ill have them pick it out of a hat and leave it at that.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:e3e48e8a-e652-470d-9a81-6649d431e0bd">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples : I.e. my sister(moh) and best man  fiances sister and my brother  my cousin and my other brother  my cousin and friend of groom SIL ( the wife) and friend of groom etc. The purple are married. I dont want my sister in law to be in front of my FSIL. And now that I am putting my FSIL behind my sister (because she is a sibling of my fiance- he wants to put my brothers behind his best man too) this is getting too complicated and it shouldnt be. we each have 7. ill have them pick it out of a hat and leave it at that.
    Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]

    So why doesn't this work:

    MOH and BM
    Fiance's Sister and Other brother
    SIL and brother
    Cousin and friend
    Cousin and friend

    It seems the important part is having sibilings first and not putting your SIL in front of your FSIL. So...that does it, no?
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    edited April 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:e3e48e8a-e652-470d-9a81-6649d431e0bd">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples : I.e.
    my sister(moh) and best man  
    fiances sister and <font color="#800080">my brother  
    </font>my cousin and my other brother  
    my cousin and friend of groom
    <font color="#800080">SIL ( the wife)</font> and friend of groom etc.

    The purple are married. I dont want my sister in law to be in front of my FSIL. And now that I am putting my FSIL behind my sister (because she is a sibling of my fiance- he wants to put my brothers behind his best man too) this is getting too complicated and it shouldnt be. we each have 7. ill have them pick it out of a hat and leave it at that.
    Posted by DoubleLL1118[/QUOTE]

    my sister(moh) and best man  
    fiances sister and my other brother  
    <font color="#800080">SIL ( the wife)<font color="#1f1f1f"> and </font>my brother  
    </font>my cousin and friend of groom
    my cousin and friend of groom 
    etc.

    I was going to just be a snarky troll today, but seriously this is not that complicated.  Put FSIL with "the OTHER brother" then SIL with her husband.  then you have all the "sisters" before the cousins.  It's still by "closeness" since you have your sister then both your SILs and then cousins.  It makes sense, the married couple's together, your SIL isn't before your FSIL (not sure why you felt your brothers had to be in THAT order).  and the cousins are equally paired with friends of the grooms.  What's the problem?

    PS - I know a PP suggested this, but OP seemed to miss it, so I thought maybe it needed to be spelled out.
    ETA: and vonclancy types faster than me, haha
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:0afb1b0e-0677-4cd4-be9a-0ba734b33615">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples : So why doesn't this work: MOH and BM Fiance's Sister and Other brother SIL and brother Cousin and friend Cousin and friend It seems the important part is having sibilings first and not putting your SIL in front of your FSIL. So...that does it, no?
    Posted by vonclancy[/QUOTE]

    Looks good to me!

    now hopefully they are alright with it, as their son is my ring bearer...  but Ill just have him walk with them if he is too scared to walk otherwise.

    Thanks everyone!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_married-couples?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:aaa0588c-314c-4cab-9d74-bbaf0e2d8ff9Post:1c357c96-c79c-48dd-8cc0-c3147f863671">Re: Married couples</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Married couples : my sister(moh) and best man   fiances sister and my other brother   SIL ( the wife) and my brother   my cousin and friend of groom my cousin and friend of groom  etc. I was going to just be a snarky troll today, but seriously this is not that complicated.  Put FSIL with "the OTHER brother" then SIL with her husband.  then you have all the "sisters" before the cousins.  It's still by "closeness" since you have your sister then both your SILs and then cousins.  It makes sense, the married couple's together, your SIL isn't before your FSIL (not sure why you felt your brothers had to be in THAT order).  and the cousins are equally paired with friends of the grooms.  What's the problem? PS - I know a PP suggested this, but OP seemed to miss it, so I thought maybe it needed to be spelled out. ETA: and vonclancy types faster than me, haha
    Posted by kAtEOffTheCuff[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I was getting at!
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