Sister (MoH) wants me to change wedding date!

kayduarte

The date of your wedding will be meaningful because of what you celebrate on that day, no matter when it is. I think having your sister there should be morei mportant than having a "special" wedding date.

avwalton

Thank you everyone for the replies. we are considering other weekends. I know some people don't understand the birthday thing. our birthdays are three weeks apart so that middle weekend is when we wanted to get married. I'm still on the fence but leaning toward changing it. we have a big families so I'm realizing almost every weekend there is something!

julie650

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-moh-wants-me-to-change-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cee3537b-2ff2-4f93-98fe-2931438c8f9dPost:6d0a83bd-5cd3-4885-b2fd-523c1c12c8ba">Re: Sister (MoH) wants me to change wedding date!</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel like there's this new trend where every tiny aspect of your wedding has to have a special meaning, or some kind of significance. The fact of it is: it's your wedding day. It will always and forever be a meaningful day and date to you. Don't try to cram too much meaning/specialness/significance into it, the fact that you're marrying the love of your life is significant enough.
Posted by CourtaniaLynn[/QUOTE]



THANK YOU. I've noticed that everything has become unbelievably cheesy. It drives me insane haha

elsa skufca

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-moh-wants-me-to-change-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cee3537b-2ff2-4f93-98fe-2931438c8f9dPost:8bacb877-f85c-4c1a-9ff3-2c41b956f576">Sister (MoH) wants me to change wedding date!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi, I got engaged in December. Before we got engaged, my fiance and I decided that we wanted to get married on the midpoint weekend between our two birthdays which would be July 12, 2014. After out engagement, I told my family, chose my bridesmaids and started looking for a venue. We haven't put a deposit yet so there is no financial obligation, but I LOVE our wedding date and I've kind of just taken it as a set date! The problem is... my sister, who is my Maid of Honor, is in an intensive weekend college program where she only meets a few select weekends of the year. She argues that she can not miss any of the weekends or she will be behind the equivalent of half the semester at a usual semester college.  I really love July 12th as our wedding date and anniversary. My other option would be to have the wedding in late August which is something I frown at the thought of. My fiance on the other hand says the wedding can be any day. And my mom thinks I'm being a bridezilla for not wanting to change the date.  What should I do?!!
Posted by avwalton[/QUOTE]

HI, I had set a date and told all VIPs only to find out the venue was not even available that date. So it may not even be an option.
I had originally picked the date because its was kind of special but all that went out the window when we could not get the venue so now our NEW wedding date is special. Good luck..

alexshep09

I would say just change the date. You're sister is an important person and i'm sure you'd like to have her there. This was a previous engagement that she had which is important to her future. maybe pick the week before or after??

darienallen

I understand wanting the date to be between your birthdays - I wanted my wedding to fall equidistant from our own as well since the dates are pretty close. But honestly, when my venue gave me dates, I didn't even think about that! I was simply excited that I could get married there! I ended up choosing a completely different month/date because of pricing. I had no thoughts for June 7 before I signed the contract, but now I am absolutely thrilled about that date and I think it is the most perfect day for a wedding. 

Regardles, your sister is more important than a date. As a graduate student I understand harsh obligations and have had to choose academia over friends, family and the like many times. It is pretty much required if you want to succeed. If you change your date to accommodate her, you can have the wedding of your dreams (with your sister) and she can succeed in her career prep!

darienallen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-moh-wants-me-to-change-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cee3537b-2ff2-4f93-98fe-2931438c8f9dPost:bdfe01dc-a9ed-42de-9a75-52b7bd8e5a2f">Re: Sister (MoH) wants me to change wedding date!</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't! It's you're wedding, not hers! It's a once in a lifetime experience for you. She can miss one class for her sister's wedding!
Posted by LilMommy24601[/QUOTE]

<div>You obviously have no understanding of rigorous academic programs. For courses that meet so few times, each class is incredibly important and an absence could cause you to forfeit your admittance. Change the date.</div>

avwalton

My sister had decided to take the summer session off and just take one extra class in the spring and one in the fall. She will still finish school at the same time. and she won't have to stress about school and helping with the wedding next summer.

LMJ1885

I'm sorry, but It's your wedding. You don't have to change your date, until you know she has class that date. And even then, it's up to you. It's your wedding, not hers. You have to ask yourself, would she change her wedding date for you?

jess1669

I can understand having your heart set on a wedding date, but you have to choose your battles and I think this one is not worth the fight. School comes first in my mind. It's your sister's future and you have to trust her when she says she will not be able to miss class, especially when they only meet a few times.

My MOH is in grad school right now, but we make it work. She will be there for the wedding, obviously, but she might not be there the day before for the spa day that I have planned for all my girls. It totally sucks, but I have to understand because that's her future and I am not going to be a bridezilla and stand in her way of getting her degree.

So, as long as you have no financial commitments to your date yet, I would change it. Plus, why be so picky of the day you get married on anyway. You should just be happy you're about to spend the rest of your life with the person you love most.

mcheek67

I would suggest a time later in the day after her class is through like the other person suggested. Maybe a romantic summer night wedding? You can also pick another date that the two of you have emotional attachment to. For instance, you can pick the first time you met, the date of your first kiss, or the date of the proposal. It doesn't have to be in August, and given the fact that you don't want it then might come back later in years as regret or holding your sister responsible for "ruining your plans". I suggest changing it to preserve your relationship with your sister, but on a date that is just as emotionally satisfying as the other date. You'd be surprised as to how much you may grow to appreciate and love the new date.