Hello, Wife in Training!

RenoSweeney24

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : Uhhhh...new fish, I wouldn't start things out this way.  Won't end well for you. Just friendly advice.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

I am clearly aware you can all read.  Sorry for the sarcasm, but my "cliff notes" version really was for clarification (especially as far as people misreading her bit about talking about their relationship at work).

At this point I'm just trying to figure out how to address all of you because it seems that every other thing I say is met with snark (so I say, "I see, then.  Should we all just be snarky?")

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : I am clearly aware you can all read.  Sorry for the sarcasm, but my "cliff notes" version really was for clarification (especially as far as people misreading her bit about talking about their relationship at work). At this point I'm just trying to figure out how to address all of you because it seems that every other thing I say is met with snark (so I say, "I see, then.  Should we all just be snarky?")
Posted by RenoSweeney24[/QUOTE]

Reno, YGPM.

GoldenPenguin

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]Given the number of people who seemed to have  had difficulties (because of poor grammar and punctuation) and who had clearly misunderstood some of her statements (can't talk about his work vs. can't talk about them at work), I think not everyone here was able to read *her* writing. I'm glad you can all read.  You're welcome.  I thoroughly enjoyed providing a cliff notes for this post. In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! :
Posted by RenoSweeney24[/QUOTE]

I just don't even have the energy. So this is what you get.

kmbryant2413

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : I just don't even have the energy. So this is what you get.
Posted by BriSox81[/QUOTE]

soupmikesgirl

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]Okay, come on.  The "Wife in training" was clearly just a phrase she thought would make a cute title. She said that he can't talk much about their relationship at work (not that he can't talk about his job).  Welcome to the forums! (I am also new here. )  Why is it that he can't talk about your relationship much?  And why the short time frame in which to get married?  Do you mean that he has a stated preference for not waiting a long time (and, instead, following in the footsteps of others who dated for a short time)?
Posted by RenoSweeney24[/QUOTE]

He can't talk about our relationship much at work because he works at a Christian Camp and my hobbies outside of the relationship include reading, listening to music and watching tv and DVDs and I agree.. I want to wait at least a year befor even planning marriage.

GoldenPenguin

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : He can't talk about our relationship much at work because he works at a Christian Camp and my hobbies outside of the relationship include reading, listening to music and watching tv and DVDs and I agree.. I want to wait at least a year befor even planning marriage.
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

soupmikesgirl

I am clearly aware of what I typed and so are everyone else bri so you don't have to quote it just after my post and the title was just that.. A thing I thought would be cute and not be PICKED APART

kmbryant2413

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]I am clearly aware of what I typed and so are everyone else bri so you don't have to quote it just after my post and the title was just that.. A thing I thought would be cute and not be PICKED APART
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

The Knot automatically quotes something when you reply to it, soupmikesgirl. I read your reply twice over and I still don't understand what you were saying. Are you introducing yourself here? Are you looking for advice? Are you engaged, or are you not?

ETA: What about your post were we supposed to find 'cute'?

loves2shop4shoes

Soup, I think Bri's GIF of confusion was in reference to the fact that the logic of your statements is unclear.

He works in a Christian camp.  And therefore, discussing his GF whose hobbies include reading, music, tv, and movies, would be frowned upon???

Why are those hobbies bad?  You're not on a stripper pole or burning bibles...

RenoSweeney24

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]Soup, I think Bri's GIF of confusion was in reference to the fact that the logic of your statements is unclear. He works in a Christian camp.  And therefore, discussing his GF whose hobbies include reading, music, tv, and movies, would be frowned upon??? Why are those hobbies bad?  You're not on a stripper pole or burning bibles...
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

I've personally never worked at a Christian camp, but my guess is that there's some sort of rule about only discussing relationships they have with God and their spouses. 

soupmikesgirl

No I am not engaged yet or I would be posting on a different board here. No I am not on a stripper pole or burning bibles.. He does talk about me and such just he keeps stuff out.

GoldenPenguin

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]I am clearly aware of what I typed and so are everyone else bri so you don't have to quote it just after my post and the title was just that.. A thing I thought would be cute and not be PICKED APART
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

I quoted you because my gif was in response to your last comment that MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE.

See how I made these two thoughts different sentences?

See how now there are three sentences? It's because those are different thoughts. It helps for the people you are talking to to understand what you're trying to say.

Bottom line, no one knows what the eff you're trying to say. We're not mean just to be mean. But we can't help/offer advice/have a conversation if you can't get a clear thought across.

soupmikesgirl

That would be my guess too but I met most if not all of his coworkers and they all ask about me all the time and when he is getting married. This is his 2nd marriage or will be.

soupmikesgirl

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]OP now that you are back can you please explain  having a short time frame in which to get married? Do you know why he wants to get married is a short period of time? Are you waiting till marraige for sex? Sorry that is very personal but him working at a christian camp plus him wanting to rush into marraige leads me to believe he is rushing so he can sleep with you.
Posted by PrincessBride2016[/QUOTE]

We are already sleeping together so that isn't an issue. The reason he gives me about wanting to rush I to it is because he says that we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other but all this marriage talk just scares me because no guy has wanted to marry me before.

kmbryant2413

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : We are already sleeping together so that isn't an issue. The reason he gives me about wanting to rush I to it is because he says that we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other but all this marriage talk just scares me because no guy has wanted to marry me before.
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

That's a stupid reason. That's a reason to WAIT to get married. You're still not making any sense here.

KeptInStitches

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : We are already sleeping together so that isn't an issue. The reason he gives me about wanting to rush I to it is because he says that we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other but all this marriage talk just scares me because no guy has wanted to marry me before.
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

Honestly, that's a great big red flag to me. I would want to know someone really, really well before I married them. I would be afraid that if he's rushing marriage this much, there might be some huge skeleton in his closet that he doesn't want you to have time to find out about. (Disclaimer: I'm totally paranoid, but in this case ...)

Belle2188

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : We are already sleeping together so that isn't an issue. The reason he gives me about wanting to rush I to it is because he says that we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other but all this marriage talk just scares me because no guy has wanted to marry me before.
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]
No wonder this will be his second marriage.  I think you need to explain to him what an idiotic thought that is.  I trust that you understand why that makes no sense...

buddysmom80

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : We are already sleeping together so that isn't an issue. The reason he gives me about wanting to rush I to it is because he says that we have the rest of our lives to get to know each other but all this marriage talk just scares me because no guy has wanted to marry me before.
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

No. No no no no no.

What if you find out he's a complete jerk after you're married? Do you know how expensive a cut and dry (no kids, no property) divorce is? I'd rather find out BEFORE I'm married so that if it doesn't work, we can both walk away and not have to hire an attorney.

soupmikesgirl

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training! : Honestly, that's a great big red flag to me. I would want to know someone really, really well before I married them. I would be afraid that if he's rushing marriage this much, there might be some huge skeleton in his closet that he doesn't want you to have time to find out about. (Disclaimer: I'm totally paranoid, but in this case ...)
Posted by KeptInStitches[/QUOTE]

I honestly don't think there is any skeletons in his closet and I agree I want to know him better before marrying him that is why I want to wait at least a year of dating before getting engaged.

loves2shop4shoes

Um, no.  Knowing someone REALLY REALLY well comes BEFORE marriage.

How are you not running for the hills?  This reminds me of the time my BF (at the time) gave me a promise ring on my 19th birthday, after 1 month of dating.  Creepy creepy.

RUN.

soupmikesgirl

I rather not discuss why he got divorced on the board thanks but I do know why.

loves2shop4shoes

Dude...you're not listening.

RUN!

soupmikesgirl

I am not going to RUN.. I love him and he loves me and there is no reason to run

kmbryant2413

...Just because you love someone doesn't mean that red flags aren't something that will destroy your relationship later. You said you're 29 but you really sound more like 19. I'm still lost and think I'll just see myself out..

Welcome to the boards.

GoldenPenguin

In Response to Re: Hello, Wife in Training!:
[QUOTE]I am not going to RUN.. I love him and he loves me and there is no reason to run
Posted by soupmikesgirl[/QUOTE]

motoLyn

Aside from all that's being said back and forth in here.  YOU mentioned that talk of marriage scares you.  You then are on a good track, talk of getting married after 6 months of dating should make you feel a bit wary, especially if he's been married before.  Don't be a wife in training, be a GIRLFRIEND.  Also tell him that you're uncomfortable with the marriage talk and to just enjoy your relationship AS IS!  Now lets get to know you better. 

soupmikesgirl

You people are treating this like one big joke or troll session when clearly it's not

kmbryant2413

Uh, motoLyn just gave you some really fantastic advice.  And don't worry, I didn't quote your post to reply to it because I didn't want to stress you.

GoldenPenguin

We aren't treating it like it's a joke - YOU HAVEN'T FUCCKING TOLD US ANYTHING!!! We need more details here, or we can't understand what you're saying.

soupmikesgirl

Thanks motoLyn, that is clearly what I am after right now.