July 2013 Weddings


Ughhh so ill start off with yesterdays frustration. 

We got our first decline, MY GRANDMA! we have no issues, she loves my FI. Im getting married back home so she would come to the wedding. Its about 30 minutes north on the freeway from her. She hates driving on the freeway, but I thought that since im the first grandchild to get married, it'd be a big enough deal for her to muster up the courage to come.. despite her telling me she would. She changed her mind. Fi and I are soooo upset about it.

Todays frustration. and some background.

 we  finally decided to invite children, but drew the line at 2nd cousins. So we allowed 1st cousins and OOT guests to bring kids. Our kid list with 1st/2nd cousins and OOT kids was something crazy like 30. So without 2nd cousins, we were at about 15 give or take 2 or 3. 

Well, I get an RSVP card back from one of my cousins, shes is the eldest cousin and reflects my crazy grandma. I think shes like 34 or something, has two kids 11+14? (I honestly couldnt tell you). I addressed my invite to her properly.. Just her and her husband. I get her card back, and it says Cousin+Husband +3 kids.. THREE?! you only have two children, who is this 3rd kid that also wasnt invited?! 

Might I add, this is the same cousin that flipped out and had a fit when I had my MOH send her bridal shower invite to her moms house because at the time, I didnt have her address or any way to get in contact with her (shower invites went out earrrlyy). 

Anyway, the point of this is to ask how to handle this situation with a crazy attention wanting cousin. 


  • If it were me, I would call or email her and say "I'm sorry, there must have been a miscommunication. My fiancé and I invited you and your husband, but no children. We simply can't afford three more guests. Thanks for sending your RSVP so soon!" if she says that she can't afford child care or whatever, then tell her that you're sorry, but you'll just have to see her another time. (because from what I gather from what you wrote about her, she's not someone who you like enough to make an exception for the kid-rule you and your FI have made... But that's just an assumption. Am I right?)
  • drg424drg424 member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper

    I agree - our invites just went out but this is how I intend to handle this situatio should it occur. We are already really over on guests and I, too, didn't want to include children but had to make some excpetions for FI's family.

    If it happens, I'm going to say I'm sorry we can't accomodat children/additional guests; we'd love to have you but if you can't make it we'll understand.

    At this point, I am not going to stress over people. We have enough guests to go around.

    Sorry about your grandma though! Can't someone drive her?

  • I agree with the two ladies above... Say that there must have been a misunderstanding, but that due to budget & guest list constraints, you are not able to extend their invite to their 3 (?!) kids. You hope that your cousin & her husband are still able to attend. She may pitch a fit about it... in which case, stand your ground and try to let her attitude slide off your back. 

    I am finding that a shockingly huge number of people have no grasp of wedding invite etiquette!
  • I called my mom andsister, she only has 2 kids.. still trying to figure out who the 3rd is haha.. but yeah, I mean, I honestly wouldnt be too upset if they declined. 2 less people to worry about. 

    as for my grandma, she would only trust my mom to drive her, which would mean my mom would have to leave the bridal preps at X hour, drive 30 min south to get her, come back. then at say 9pm or whenever she would leave my mom would have to leave and come back.. so she would miss most of the day. /= 
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