I...I...where do I #$%@! begin?

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

ReturnOfKuus

Good.  And wear the crown.

MissMolly

sarahurban451 said:

And as for therapy, yeah, if you had attention span enough to read through my three whole posts, you would have seen that I already not only agree with you there, but beat you to the punch in admitting it--the whole god-damned family needs therapy. Doesn't help me much in the 17 days I have left, now does it? Doesn't help salvage what I was foolish enough to hope would be FUN in planning this one family-friend celebration thing, now does it?

Sara, weddings aren't fun to plan. Trust me, I thought the exact same thing when I first got engaged, "yay, I finally get to plan my wedding day, which I never thought would come!" I'm 35, by the way, and have dated my share of not-so-nice guys. I didn't think the day would ever come. It didn't take long into planning this thing, to find out just how not-fun it is. Brides and grooms to be get to put up with a bunch of family/friend opinions whether or not they are wanted. We got it from all sides, and while it made me mad, it also made me realize that our wedding plans are none of anyone's damn business. My folks got say in the guest list because they're paying for supper, and my sister got us to change our wedding colours, as she said the original ones looked like vomit. We had loved them, but didn't want our WP to look like vomit, so we changed them from olive/coral/ivory to black/orange/fuchsia. It's nice, we like the new ones, but they aren't as "us" as the original ones. However, I get a kick-ass, bright, beautiful bouquet our of the deal now. With the original scheme, it would've been more muted.

But, moral of the story, what I learned to do: keep my mouth shut. For the last several months, when I'm asked how the wedding planning is going, I say "really well, thanks", then change the subject. I don't give out any extra info on anything, nor do I ask for opinions often. I've heard too many, mostly from people who aren't paying for the event, and shouldn't get an opinion.

Also, you mentioned that your entire family could benefit from therapy. Mine could as well, but the only ones who have gone are my sister and I. I went for 5 sessions, and that was the best money I've ever spent. I initially went because my Mom brought up a sore subject for the 4th time, and proceeded to hammer it home (again), quite a few times in quick succession. I had asked her to please stop, she wouldn't, so in front of her I pounded the counter, effectively making my writing hand black and blue, and swelling it enough that I could barely write. I've harmed myself by myself before, but decided that I needed help in dealing with her. Now, I choose my battles. When I say "no", she is well aware that I mean "no", and if not, I end the conversation. I no longer back down and let her run over me, nor do I apologize for everything. The latter is still a work in progress; I'm more aware of it with my parents, and no longer feel like everything is my fault. With FH, it's a different story, I still apologize: "sorry, I didn't reply to your text sooner", "sorry, but i can't attend a family cookout tomorrow; I'm utterly wiped out from trying to keep up with wedding planning and life in general", "sorry but I can't do supper that evening, I have an appointment". Yeah, he's called me out on that many times, which I'm grateful for.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

VarunaTT

sarahurban451 said:

do you troll every single thread about ALL of those details, too, and tell those bride-planners that their x, y, and z's are also unimportant?

Actually, if brides come here freaking about unimportant details, we tend to tell them they're unimportant details that no one will notice, not even her, on the wedding day.

mrsconn23

YOU have an incredible martyr complex. 

You're boohooing about how horribly your mom treats you and then in the next sentence, you want your wedding to be this happy kum-ba-ya moment for your family to 'come together' because you're moving away and you want to have this one perfect, happy, shining moment.  Because THEN you can say that YOUR wedding brought everyone together.

With the family dynamics you have provided, it is probably not going to happen. Give Jesus back his cross and build a bridge and move on with your life.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

GBCK

Why did you even come here? What are you getting out of this?

Ahhh, irony.

Someone comes to a message board and wonders why the REGULAR COMMUNITY of people who use that board don't just leave because Miss Priss walked in the door.

mrsconn23

It's also human to watch a train wreck because your eyes can't look away. 

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

DixieNormous330

sarahurban451 said:

See, that is the irony. Who woulda thought that that a wedding woe site would even HAVE a "regular community"? Full of people who have been members since...2005?!? You've been trolling this site for EIGHT YEARS? And you post, about eight of you, among yourselves, about anything from sending dirty texts to "Mrs.Conn is going to have a doozie today" to cereal to Vin Diesel to all manner of other retardation.

"If people only lurked for just a few minutes, they'd see that this wedding board does not discuss wedding shizz.  And that we're bitches."

Agreed. Did lurk. Do see. And absolutely do agree: about eight of you are bitches indeed.

Congratulations on your, ahem, community achievements and how stably, intelligently, and warmly you have reached out to and found each other.

Here, I'll speak your language:

Did you really use "retardation" like that? REALLY? Thanks for the blatant insult to my daughter and the rest of the intellectually disabled community.

Yeah, that's what I took from your little tantrum.

PirateBarbie

OP - who says old ladies can't wear flowers on their heads? 

VarunaTT

UM, DID SHE JUST DISS VIN DIESEL?!?!

 

OH HELL NO.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

VarunaTT

sarahurban451 said:

I'm apparently not supposed to display rainbows either unless I want tea-partiers to automatically assume I'm gay.

Jigga-what?

Girl, you got some issues.  You're off task all over the damn place.  You got your flower crown answers, why you hanging around if it's so bothersome?  You think you're going to get us "on-task"?  Change the whole mood of the board from posters who have been here since before they got married?  Change the regs?

We've outlived better than you, dahling.  So bless your heart and all that jazz.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

DixieNormous330

sarahurban451 said:

Yeah, I really did. It's got MORE than just the one connotation and application toward intellectually-disabled, learning-disabled, learning-differentiated, or differently-abled humans. Like kids' pajamas are made out of flame-retardant fabrics. Do you get offended by that too? Your choice to take my use of a word in a DIFFERENT context as a blatant insult to your daughter who I do not know is just that: your choice. I believe we have enough off-task fighting going on here already. Please, it's a wedding woe site. Obviously the perfect place for you to start your own new thread about how mad you get when people us the verb "to retard"--to hold back or delay in accomplishment in ANY other context because you have, yourself, stolen it for your own use. I'm apparently not supposed to display rainbows either unless I want tea-partiers to automatically assume I'm gay.

Oh Honey, the way you used it was an insult to that community. Way to get defensive. There are a ton of other words that would have gotten the same point across.

You're just digging your hole deeper here. You've made your stance known about how much you don't like it here, don't like the regs, didn't like the advice given to you. Why continue the downward spiral in this thread.

Actually.. I'm just going to refer to you as Ann Coulter. She uses "retarded" and "retardation" the same way that you have.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

NOLABridesmaid

In 17 days, I logout and disable my account because it will have outlived its purpose.

 

I don't think the knot is good at that.

 

Sarah, why not stick around? I really want to know how it all turns out, and you can't say you haven't been entertained.

MissMolly

NOLABridesmaid said:

Sarah, why not stick around? I really want to know how it all turns out, and you can't say you haven't been entertained.

I second this! Sarah, the boards here are actually most helpful, and the ladies are nice. Okay, not everyone is nice 100% of the time, but that's not only life on a message board, it happens in real life too. And, fantastic advice is offered here. Sure things can get off topic, but it's kind of a nice reprieve from constant wedding talk as well. Just think about it.

VarunaTT

I don't know any board on the net that doesn't have "regs".  And if it doesn't?  It's the deadest damn board around, to which you would've gotten no answers. Please to be seeing "Entertaining Ideas" or "Mexico", which has like one post per month.

And as far as I know, even the one tea-party person on here is yay-for-gay, which is why your example fell flat.  

And this board is ALL rainbows, puppies and unicorns ALL the time.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

PirateBarbie

VarunaTT said:

I don't know any board on the net that doesn't have "regs".  And if it doesn't?  It's the deadest damn board around, to which you would've gotten no answers. Please to be seeing "Entertaining Ideas" or "Mexico", which has like one post per month.

And as far as I know, even the one tea-party person on here is yay-for-gay, which is why your example fell flat.  

And this board is ALL rainbows, puppies and unicorns ALL the time.

I miss Mexico. *pours one out*

VarunaTT

DixieNormous330

Inigo said it best:

zsazsa-stl

 

 

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

VarunaTT

HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU TO WEAR THE DAMN FLOWER CROWN.

Yes, the rest is just play.