I...I...where do I #$%@! begin?

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

VarunaTT

What about a fascinator w/a flower headpiece for the ecru dress?  Or, hair up, with a flower headpiece in lieu of a tiara?  I think you can work in a flower headpiece pretty easy, though it might not be the flower crown you had in mind originally.

 

VarunaTT

Think like a Billie Holiday type style.

MissMolly

I love, love, love your dress, Sarah! Really lovely, and honestly, I would think that a curvy body would look far better in it than a body like mine...not so curvy. Rock that dress! And, if it doesn't go with a flower crown that you had in mind, go with a headpiece that Varuna suggested.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

ReturnOfKuus

My advice is to eat heartily and get a dress that fits without altering your body.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

VarunaTT

Hair up, doesn't mean hair on top of your head.  Mine was all at the base of my neck and then I had my tiara on that.

Do one of the side swept pony tails, flowers in it and done.  Google "ponytail with flower" and the first eight pictures that pop up would do what you want.

Lady, you need to learn to love yourself and tell your mother's voice in your head to STFU and EABOD.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

d2va

I would like to say a few things, lol

1. I think your writing style is phenomenal! I feel like your mother is my mother, and that I want to kill her BUT I do know that we just cant do that.

2. tldr (too long didnt read) does and should not apply in "Wedding Woes"

3. Wear a flower f*&^ing crown! I love it! I think it would look beautiful on you if you are wearing that sexy lace number posted just above! I would opt for a more refined, subtle flower crown, maybe with a string of small pearl intertwined! 

I found some for inspiration if you are still considering it: 

Youre mother is a raging bia, but she is your mother. I will wait on your update from the florists meeting to give further advice, as I dont want to assume that she went or didnt go!

So, Please update!

ReturnOfKuus

A bit of seriousness about the regulars, in the long-winded format that newbies seem to like:

I've been on variations of this board (the name changes, but the tone remains... similar, at least) for over a decade, starting back when I was newly engaged in college and the beebee-est of brides.  I asked completely asinine questions, and got answers indicating that the problems were not what I thought they were, and that the real problems could be solved instantly by growing up a good five years and crawling out of my own ass (but not necessarily in that order).  They made me angry and defensive, and I thought they were terrible, but they were also right.

I stuck around to argue with them over how wrong they were about that, and about any new topics that came up, and then I started feeling uneasy about my upcoming marriage.  And what I got was more of the same - people asking the hard questions and pointing out truths that felt false because they were so uncomfortable.  When I decided that I wasn't ready to get married, or to be in a serious relationship at all, I got an overwhelming outpouring of support and wisdom from people who had been there and come through it.

At this point I'm in my mid-thirties and have been happily married for about four years, and yeah, I'm still here.  Why wouldn't I be?  After the support I got when calling off my wedding, I knew exactly where to turn when going through anything else uncertain and off in my life, and I have yet to be disappointed.  We all started here because of some wedding or another, but at this point, we also talk in other formats under our real names, and get together in person when we're physically in the same place.  I know people come here expecting people who talk about weddings briefly while they're planning, but weddings are pretty boring, which is why boards who really are about that are dead.  This is an established social group who knows weddings, and who will (if necessary) answer questions about them from the perspective of someone who has come through the other side and knows how trivial weddings are in the grand scheme of even a decade, let alone a lifetime.

VarunaTT

VarunaTT

Oh, I just found this!

MissMolly

sarahurban451 said:

@Alesha: thank you! I do think it's beautiful too. Fiance loves it for same reason you do: rock the curves in it. I grew up pretty much directly being taught that I should hate my body. I don't so much now, but it's been a long road. Theory is there are women who raise their daughters to dress for women--to seek approval from women (Vogue magazine) and there are women who raise their daughters to dress for men (Cosmo). And I know seeking anyone's approval is not the answer--but I hope you get what I mean in a nutshell without me having to make another long post. My mom is willowy and tall. Me? should have taken bellydancing lessons--got a bod for that. She just never knew what to do with my body except try and make it like hers. A losing battle. Decades lost to frustration, tears, bad self-esteem. So, that's why she calls it the Butt Dress. She thinks I'm going to look like Kim Kardashian walking down the path. Whatever. 

I didn't grow up learning to hate my body; I was encouraged to love myself. BUT I grew up with a Mom who constantly criticized herself. She had me comparing her butt to the butt of the lady in front of us in the mall: "is my butt as big as hers??". So, I know what you mean; it's taken me a good number of years to be OK with my body, and I still don't like it. Hence why I've started policing what I eat, and doing boot camp twice a week.

d2va

ReturnOfKuus said:

A bit of seriousness about the regulars, in the long-winded format that newbies seem to like:

tldr 

jk, Just didnt want to qoute the wall of text

I agree wholeheartedly, I would also like to note, if you are new to the internet aka forums, the harsh reality is harsh, and a thick skin is needed. At the end of the day, the ladies here try to point you/ us / them in the right direction. You wont be lured with princess cupcakes, it is what it is. 

Ive seem several women get waaay defensive and/ or emotional, when they asked for straight answers, and received them, but of course its not what they wanted to hear. 

mamashrub

You're 46, its your wedding and you've done stuff you're own way before and didn't burst in to flames, your wedding isn't any different.. keep on truckin' doing your own damn thing. Wear your hair down. Wear flowers in your hair.. wear an entire damn garden for all you want. In the end, nothing is gonna matter, but you, and your new hubby. That is what the day is about, not about your mom, not about her friends and not about your family pulling guilt trips.. do what you do. They're gonna be who they are and you will have the wedding YOU want.

Simply Fated

This whole thing is about a floral crown? Wear it. Done.
All the info about your mother is unnecessary.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

sarahurban451

Thank you for your time.

Weezy56

First you say:

"I mean this in the nicest way possible, please stay on task and answer questions given. My question was what is the age limit for a flower crown"

Then you say:

"I was looking for, I dunno, compassion. Help. Ways to minimize the stress and angst from those who have walked in similar shoes since "fixing" the stress is obviously not do-able in 17 days"


Girlfriend, you are all over the damn place. I felt bad for you and had advice ready after your first post but now you are just acting crazy and sarcastic to people who are trying to help you. Chill out. Nobody is creating drama for you on this board, you are creating it yourself. And for the love of God wear the freakin crown.

VarunaTT

I know you think your situation is unique, but if you hang around, you're not the first lady and you're not going to be the last on here complaining about a mother.  Your situation isn't unique and we've read something similar to it before.  So, we tend to cut through the BS and get to the heart of the matter.  And not in five paragraphs.  And not wrapped in bubble wrap, sunshine and pillows, stamped with rainbows, unicorns and puppies.

If you don't like the style, you don't have to stay.  

Simply Fated

@SimplyFated. You're coming into this way too late in the game for me to catch you up, but thanks for playing.

@sarahurban451
I read the entire thread. You don't need to catch me up. You asked about a crown. I answered your question about the crown.

jojobrn

Team Kuus. All the way.

OP, you sure have a lot to say about one little thing.

sarahurban451

>>I know you think your situation is unique, but if you hang around, you're not the first lady and you're not going to be the last on here complaining about a mother.  Your situation isn't unique and we've read something similar to it before.  So, we tend to cut through the BS and get to the heart of the matter.  And not in five paragraphs.  And not wrapped in bubble wrap, sunshine and pillows, stamped with rainbows, unicorns and puppies. If you don't like the style, you don't have to stay.<<

You're right. My situation is not unique. Nobody's really is at the end of the day. So, no real reason to have forums or read books or watch movies or meet for coffee because everyone's story is the same--and trite in that sameness. And the people behind the stories--trite, too--not worthy of being seen as individuals because you all--you wedding board regulars who rule this world all weary and wise--have been everywhere and seen it all. And for those of us who seek advice that is, well, humane in its humanness, you regulars can only interpret that to mean that we seek the hyperbole of bubble-wrapped sunshine with unicorns and puppies. You know, and it's just a thought--another trite one I'm sure: there is middle ground between the Macbeth witches you regulars seem to revel in as roles and the rainbow-soaked sappiness you seem to think we want. 

Good day, ladies, and thank you for your time.

VarunaTT

 

 

Here's the difference:  we don't think we're being MacBeth witches.  It's bottom line, truth.  And truth isn't always kind.  Some people can't handle that.

it's okay.  WeddingBee.com might be more your style.

ETA:  I think you're also choosing to misinterpret things.  I didn't tell you, your situation isn't unique, so don't ask.  I said, your situation isn't unique, so our straight talking advice is based off on the literally dozens of brides we've read in this situation and given advice.

VarunaTT

sarahurban451 said:

>>I know you think your situation is unique, but if you hang around, you're not the first lady and you're not going to be the last on here complaining about a mother.  Your situation isn't unique and we've read something similar to it before.  So, we tend to cut through the BS and get to the heart of the matter.  And not in five paragraphs.  And not wrapped in bubble wrap, sunshine and pillows, stamped with rainbows, unicorns and puppies. If you don't like the style, you don't have to stay.<<

You're right. My situation is not unique. Nobody's really is at the end of the day. So, no real reason to have forums or read books or watch movies or meet for coffee because everyone's story is the same--and trite in that sameness. And the people behind the stories--trite, too--not worthy of being seen as individuals because you all--you wedding board regulars who rule this world all weary and wise--have been everywhere and seen it all. And for those of us who seek advice that is, well, humane in its humanness, you regulars can only interpret that to mean that we seek the hyperbole of bubble-wrapped sunshine with unicorns and puppies. You know, and it's just a thought--another trite one I'm sure: there is middle ground between the Macbeth witches you regulars seem to revel in as roles and the rainbow-soaked sappiness you seem to think we want. 

Good day, ladies, and thank you for your time.

Well, I caught that one.