So, I am less than one week from my wedding and I am at the point now where I really wish I could build a time machine and go back in time to before I started planning my wedding and just elope instead! There has been so much drama that I am not even looking forward to our actual wedding day anymore! I love my fiance more than ever and cannot wait to be his wife but I am seriously over the drama...especially from my family. What's done is done at this point and I know that. I just need some place to vent and maybe get some reassurance that other brides have gone through the same or similar situations and it all turned out okay. I feel like I should also note that my fiance and I are paying for 99% of our wedding. Fiance's mom is paying for food because she is cooking it and won't let us pay. Fiance and I are paying for everything else.
There are a million things I wish I could talk about but I am going to stick to one: My mother.
I have a pretty good relationship with my mother for the most part but ever since I have started the wedding planning, I feel like my relationship with her is deteriorating. She is constantly comparing how much she gets to do versus how much fiance's family gets to do. Its driving me nuts. Fiance's mom is doing all the food for the reception so I told my mom that she would be helping me with the decor. She was really excited and I thought that would make everything better. We brainstormed together on the direction I wanted to go and I thought we were having the same vision. I called her one night to talk about the uplighting I wanted to rent and the idea I had for the ceiling. I showed her pictures, I asked for her opinion on it, she seemed to really like it so I went ahead and rented/bought the items I would need. Then this morning she calls me to talk about the schedule for everything and starts telling me how I have hurt everyone's feelings because I haven't let them do everything for the wedding. She says its not fair that I didn't let her plan the decor and this wedding is not just me and my fiance's wedding but hers and my dad's and my fiance's parents wedding too.
Now, I will admit that I am a control freak. Its true. Not just about the wedding but about a lot of things. Its part of who I am. I decided to do a lot of DIY for my wedding because it would save some money and because I like to do crafty stuff. Because of my control issues, and the fact that I live 3 hours away from majority of my bridesmaids, I did most of the DIY stuff myself. My MOH and another bridesmaid who live up here did help me on some things but the rest of my bridesmaids and my mother really didn't get to. I know this wasn't how my mother pictured the planning of the wedding for her first engaged daughter, but this is how it worked out. She texted my fiance after the phone call today and said she was sorry if she hurt me but that she felt I needed to know her feelings. I agree that she should be able to tell me her feelings about everything, but I don't feel like a week before the wedding when everything is already done, is the right time to do it. It doesn't change anything other than the fact that now I just feel upset.
I just don't understand why having strong opinions about my own wedding and wanting to do most of it myself makes me a bad person. I wasn't mean to other poeple when they had suggestions. I just told them that while they were good/cool/pretty ideas, they weren't really fitting with the vision I had in my head.
At this point, I want to elope and say forget the big ceremony and reception. I feel like the memory of the wedding will forever be marred by all these negative feelings I am having now.
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P.S.- Sorry for the novel-length post.