MOH and BM just got engaged, getting married right before us. Need some perspective!

bnrandall

Thanks, I really appreciate the feedback! Everyone saved me from looking like a smacked bottom.

allispain

I know you've already figured out what to do, but I just want to add that, in wedding-planning world, 4 months is a long time. You'll have plenty of time to help her with projects (if you so choose) and she'll have plenty of time to help you with yours (if she so chooses).

I'm getting married on Saturday. One of my BMs is getting married 4 weeks later. It has been awesome having someone else who's going through this process on almost the same exact time line (we got engaged the same day through a funny coincidence). She could have gotten upset with me when we set a date, since she had set hers first, but instead she was thrilled that I'd be going through it all first and would be there to give her great advice on her own planning. I will also add, we both have been in grad school throughout this process (writing our doctoral dissertations no less), and have still found time to work on DIY projects together over lunch.

I think you and your sister will be just fine.

bnrandall

@allispain I'm now realizing that 4 months IS a long time for wedding planning and prep. Thank you for your anecdote! And good luck with you dissertation! That definitely makes me feel better about planning a wedding while in school.

Meliss&Chris

You can always use her wedding to help make sure you don't make the same mistakes on things in your own!  

My cousin and I both got engaged the same day (by complete accident).  She got married last December and I'm not getting married until this October.  But then my other cousin, her sister - got engaged and married in between her wedding and mine!  I was annoyed by the whole situation!  But I helped where I could and took lots of notes on things they did at their weddings that I liked and did not like.  4 months may not give you enough time to change some things... but use it as a learning experience if you can!

kipnus

I had a similar experience, so I'll jump in here: My sister and I were each other's MOH and our weddings were exactly 50 days apart. I'm also a graduate student. 

I got married in June, a week after I finished teaching spring session. My sister wasn't even in the country until a week before my wedding. It was fine!

Then two months later (once I was back from my honeymoon and H had settled into our apartment), my sister got married. That was also fine! 

Lists are your friend.

bnrandall

Thank you ladies so much It's good to know there are other brides out there that have been in my shoes and have great feedback!

[Deleted User]

Wow, some of these responses are rude! All the girl is looking for is a little advice. No need for name calling. Anyways, me and my fiance were in a similar situation. Not with the money issue though. We are getting married in august and had a 2 year engagement. After we secure our hall with guaranteed amount of people we must meet or pay for empty chair his brother got engaged. They decided to get married in June (2 months before us). my fiance initially felt like he was trying to steal our thunder. I was concered about the guests. Their family is not in the same state as both weddings would be held. Its a lot for guests to travel to 2 weddings months apart. A lot of people expressed their frustration including me and my fiance. They still stuck to their date and it was a beautiful wedding. But a lot of people said they could not attend both and would need to choose which one to go to. Its sad but its the reality of the world and economy we are in. I understand your frustration

 and you thinking of your father's financial situation. It will be a lot for him. You should still except whatever he offers and just be happy for your sister. Its rude what she is doing and selfish. I gaurentee that a lot of other people see it too. don't let it ruin your day!

bethsmiles

angeleyess7 said:

Wow, some of these responses are rude! All the girl is looking for is a little advice. No need for name calling. Anyways, me and my fiance were in a similar situation. Not with the money issue though. We are getting married in august and had a 2 year engagement. After we secure our hall with guaranteed amount of people we must meet or pay for empty chair his brother got engaged. They decided to get married in June (2 months before us). my fiance initially felt like he was trying to steal our thunder. I was concered about the guests. Their family is not in the same state as both weddings would be held. Its a lot for guests to travel to 2 weddings months apart. A lot of people expressed their frustration including me and my fiance. They still stuck to their date and it was a beautiful wedding. But a lot of people said they could not attend both and would need to choose which one to go to. Its sad but its the reality of the world and economy we are in. I understand your frustration

 and you thinking of your father's financial situation. It will be a lot for him. You should still except whatever he offers and just be happy for your sister. Its rude what she is doing and selfish. I gaurentee that a lot of other people see it too. don't let it ruin your day!

It is not rude or selfish of her to get married at a time that works for her and her FI.Thinking that you have dibs on a certain time-frame for your own wedding is rude and selfish. You get one day, that's it.